


To See You This Way

by EmilyBea



Category: Once Upon a Time (TV)
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-03-19
Updated: 2018-04-07
Packaged: 2019-04-04 11:02:35
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 12
Words: 60,527
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14018862
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/EmilyBea/pseuds/EmilyBea
Summary: Modern Captain Swan AU fic where Emma is the Storybrooke physician, and Killian is a best selling writer who once lived there. They were next-door neighbors and best friends when Killian moved to town at thirteen, but the story picks up years later. A misunderstanding kept them apart, and now only proof that the love between them has always been there can bring them together.





	1. Chapter 1

**_A/N: As I have recently sent off some wonderful stories (and am about to send off another this week into the land of completion), I thought it only fitting that I add a new story into the fray. This idea has been bouncing around in my head since I heard the song ‘Took My Whole Life’ by Shannon LaBrie (see the lyric shout out as my title) but I was struggling to decide exactly how I wanted to handle it. I think I’ve finally found the way, and I hope that you’ll join me on another fluffy trip into a Captain Swan AU with a guaranteed happy ending and a lot of feels along the way!_ **

Thirty-seven messages. The number blinked back on his phone, jarring as could possibly be, but Killian ignored them all. He knew what most of them were: congratulations on the new book and how well it was doing from people who claimed they cared but were just pretending to be his friends. In reality, they only gave a damn if he was a success, which he currently was. Amongst the unwanted well wishers, Killian suspected there were pleas from his publisher and his agent to re-up his contract and keep his book series going another five or six installments, but he was done. These characters, this world he had created, was tired, and he was tired of it.

Shucking off his jacket, Killian didn’t bother to look around the big empty house he had here in the California hills just outside of LA. He knew it all looked exactly the same as when he’d left it this afternoon. For the past eight years he’d been renovating this old house in the hopes that it would give him something to occupy his time and invest some of that book money in. Now it had served it’s purpose, which was to supply him projects to distract him when the words wouldn’t come, and when his mind moved back to days now long gone. 

 _Stay ahead of it, Jones,_ he chastised himself as he found a container of leftovers in the fridge to heat up. The event tonight had supplied food, but only the ridiculously pretentious attempts at cultural fusion that always left a bad taste in his mouth. It was all so ridiculous. Surely everyone in the room would prefer a burger or perhaps pasta, but he’d actually had something called tempura couscous tonight. He couldn’t make this stuff up and he was a writer for fuck’s sake.

As the timer dinged, Killian’s cell phone began to ring, but unlike nearly every other time the device gave its offending chirps, Killian moved to answer it. This tone signaled his elder brother, Liam, and it had been too long since he’d had the chance to speak to him.

“Liam, it’s good to –“ Immediately his brother shushed him.

 _“Just listen.”_ The forceful whisper surprised Killian, but what he heard next more fully bowled him over, for the voice that sounded was not Liam’s but his fiancé, Elsa’s. 

 _“So what, the house just has a lot of memories?”_ Instinctively Killian knew what was coming next, but he didn’t dare to dream that he’d hear her voice, until it was sounding through his speakers. Even all these years later, Emma Swan had the power to completely change his world simply through speaking.

_“Exactly. Every time I’m here, I think of him and it hurts. He was – he was… he was my best friend and my favorite person. When anything happened I told him and he was just always what I needed. Being here right now is a reminder that he didn’t see me the way I saw him.”_

Didn’t see her? His whole life was Emma then, from the day he’d moved to Storybrooke at thirteen, to that fateful morning five years after when he’d left for college. She was everything to him, more important than any other person or thing in the entirety of the cosmos, with her golden hair and beautiful eyes, and her wit and charm. He’d worshiped her, loved her more than words could ever say, but she said it was him who didn’t feel for her? This was madness.

 _“How did you see, him?”_ Killian felt his breath catch at Elsa’s question, for now it was all he wanted to know as well, but Emma stayed silent. _“You loved him. Oh, Emma, I’m so sorry. I shouldn’t have pushed you to come tonight.”_

 _“Elsa, it’s fine. It’s been years, I should be over it, I should just forget him, but I don’t think I ever will. My heart just wont let me.”_ Killian heard the tears in Emma’s voice and Gods if it wasn’t the worst thing he’d ever heard in his life. He’d done that to her. Emma Swan, a girl who had faced life’s harshest trials and come out just as angelic on the other side, was ruined by him. The speaker pulled away from the conversation and Liam’s voice filtered through to Killian once more. 

 _“What kind of man leaves the woman he loves and the woman who loves him behind like that? You’re better than this, Killian. At least I thought you were.”_ Liam’s reprimand had Killian feeling frantic.

“I didn’t just leave her – she was with kissing another man the day after being with me!”

_“Who the hell would Emma Swan have ever been with other than your sorry ass?!”_

“Walsh Miller. I saw them together.” To Killian’s ears now it sounded ridiculous. 

_“Walsh Miller was a socially stunted kid who thought Emma’s tutoring him for his SATS a few years before meant they had a love connection, and she was too polite to slap him over it. You seriously pulled away for that?! And here I thought she’d turned you down, or actually slighted you, but no!”_

At the time it had felt like a stab to the heart, but Killian hadn’t had any claim to her other than that they were friends. Despite the change to their relationship that last summer, they hadn’t discussed being officially anything more than that. His instinct in the face of that kiss had been to run, avoiding the mortification of loving her when she pursued her own fulfillment elsewhere. He’d accepted a last minute spot in early orientation for school the next day and was gone straight away, not returning for longer than a two-day stay in the nearly ten years that followed.

“Why didn’t she tell me?” Killian was damn close to pulling his hair out over the revelation. It had been years, years he’d wondered what had gone wrong, why Emma would choose Walsh given everything they had, and if he himself hadn’t just been the biggest bloody coward for walking away without saying anything or fighting for her. Now he knew he was, he was a fool and very likely had ruined the best thing that he’d ever had in his miserable life.

 _“When was she supposed to? You decided to leave the next day and when she did come to say goodbye you were cold as ice to the girl.”_ The memory was too painful to face, but as it flashed through his mind Killian couldn’t deny how terrible he’d been. All of it thanks to unwarranted pain he’d been suffering. It had been childish, to run like that, there could be no denying that fact, and by the time he’d thought better of it, it had felt too late. She was off at school herself, no doubt building a life that was better for his not being in it.

“Liam, what have I done?” Liam sighed, clearly exasperated but reigning in his own emotions. 

 _“Nothing that can’t be undone if you try your damndest brother. She’s single and for better or worse she still loves you, but I can’t imagine how you’ll do it, how you’ll make it up to a woman who loved you as she did.”_ An idea struck, and the moment it did, Killian knew it was his only shot at redemption with the girl who had haunted his dreams all these years. He only prayed that it would work and that the Gods would be good and grant him the little bit of time he still needed to see it through.

……………….

  
_Three Months Later_

Strolling down the streets of her quaint seaside hometown, Emma Swan appreciated the briskness of the air around her despite the late August sun. Birds were chirping, kids were laughing, all was good in this little corner of the world, and Emma was glad for it. She only hoped that this peace would continue as she made her way into work for the day. Emma moved from the sidewalk into the building where she ran her medical practice from and found, happily that all was calm here too.

Taking a look around her offices always brought a smile to Emma’s face, no matter the circumstances. She could be caught in the midst of clinical chaos, with ten patients who needed immediate care, or spending an easy afternoon with only one with a benign problem and her contentment stayed the same. Whatever the patient population looked like, this place, and this job made her happy.

After years of college, medical school, and residency, Emma knew that the place she wanted most to be was home. Storybrooke Maine was a small town with a big heart, and what it lacked in big city luxury it made up for with genuine neighborly kindness and natural beauty. It was also the perfect place for Emma to pursue a career as a general physician. At school she’d mostly studied pediatrics, for she’d always loved kids, but that specialization didn’t matter to the people in this town, who were all just happy to come into an office like this as opposed to the hospital in town for their more mundane maladies. She’s been here and in business for a little over a year, and always had more than enough clients to keep her occupied.

Emma’s success to this point had been substantial enough that she’d been able to hire a physician’s assistant, a lovely young woman named Tiana who was lively and quick witted and easily the hardest working person Emma had ever met. She opened the clinic every day a full hour before Emma arrived and got everything squared away for the day as best she could, putting out fires before they could ever really catch.

“Morning Ti.”

“Morning Emma. It’s been pretty slow so far, but I do have Mary Margaret and her gaggle in exam one.” Emma smiled at the short hand.

“Which kid is it this time?” At the same time both women filled in who it would most likely be, “Eva.” With that Emma moved into the patient room.

As was to be expected in a family friendly practice like Emma’s, some groups kept her a little more occupied than others, and today she was facing one such clan. David and Mary Margaret Nolan were two friends of Emma’s from high school who had been in love as long as she could remember and now had four small kids. Fearless and determined to find the next big adventure all the time, the Nolan children were known for playing rough and taking any dare, which was likely why Eva, who was all of six years old, was visiting for the second time this month.

“Good morning, Nolans!” Emma said cheerily as she walked into the exam room. For a mother who had an injured child, and three other little ones in tow, Mary Margaret was still so bright and bubbly. It was one of her best, and most unbelievable qualities.

“Good morning, Emma! Say good morning kids.” All of them immediately chorused good morning back to Emma. Emma took the chance to reread Eva’s chart and the incoming complaint.

“So we’re here today because of an injured ankle?” Eva nodded, her chin jutting outward as if she was holding back pain. Emma had to hand it to the little girl, she was a tough kid and was always perfectly behaved when she came in to see Emma. “Well let’s take a look.”

As Emma checked along the sprained limb, Mary Margaret took the chance to catch up, something that Emma had come to expect. With how busy Mary Margaret and Emma both were, this was one of the few times they got an extended period to gossip or regroup.

“So the reunion planning is genuinely starting to drive me crazy. I mean, how difficult is it for people to send in an RSVP?” Emma gave her friend a sympathetic smile. 

“Especially since most of us live within a three mile radius.” Mary Margaret’s hand went up in a gesture of agreement. 

“Exactly! It’s crazy. I mean really, it’s one thing for Killian not to respond, he’s off in California running the world, but I mean Deidre Higgins can’t seem to give me an answer and I’ve run into her three times on the street this week alone!”

Mary Margaret’s mention of Killian Jones, their former classmate, was casual, but Emma’s response to him was anything but. Immediately her heart rate picked up just thinking of him, and that old familiar pang of missing him came with it. That only fueled her frustration, because she shouldn’t miss him. She’d spent too long wondering what-if about Killian, but clearly he wasn’t doing the same. He was off writing. No, that didn’t do it justice – Killian was off having an incredibly successful writing career three thousand plus miles away.

The craziest part was that despite everything, despite the fact that she’d been in love with Killian only for him to all but disappear from the fabric of her life so suddenly, Emma was happy for him and so proud of him. She had all of his books, and more than that she made a point to buy the different editions she saw, so while he’d only written six individual action novels, she had probably forty of his books scattered around. She’d read each one cover to cover, loving everything about them and feeling like at least through those pages, she got to keep a piece of him with her. Killian had always been so talented, but he’d also been afraid that no one else would think so. For him to now know that people from all over the world enjoyed his work… well it was all Emma could ever want for him.

“It’s crazy,” Emma murmured back before returning to the medical problem before her. “Seems what we have here is a mild sprain. I’ve wrapped it up for you, and I’ll go grab the Nolan designated crutches, but you should stay off of it for three to four days, and keep it elevated while icing. You guys know the drill.”

Mary Margaret nodded as Emma corralled the family out into the waiting room once more, but her pixie-haired friend suddenly looked stricken. “Emma, I’m sorry, I forgot myself for a second there, I shouldn’t have brought him up.”

Emma shook her head, trying to put on her brave face. It was bad enough everyone knew that Emma cared for him, she didn’t need to linger on her embarrassing inability to let him go.

“Mary Margaret it’s fine, really. I’m over it.” _I’m so not over it,_ she thought to herself, but hey, since nothing else had worked the past ten years, why not just go for full out denial? “Besides, he’d never come to the reunion. He has a totally different life now.”

The door to the clinic suddenly opened with a _clang_ , the force of the entrance rattling the windows slightly. It caught everyone’s attention but when Emma saw the person responsible she felt confused. The tall brunette who was out of breath, as if she’d run all the way from the bookstore where she worked a few street over, was none other than her friend Ruby. 

“Emma?! Oh thank god you’re here!” Emma looked at Ruby trying to assess what the problem could be. Ruby hated running, so Emma had to wonder why she’d done so to get here. 

“Ruby, are you alright?” Emma asked, worried that she or someone else was hurt. Ruby nodded and though still catching her breath, she waved around some papers.

“You need to see this.” Emma grabbed the papers but stayed focused on Ruby’s eyes. Her friend was concerned but about what, Emma couldn’t tell. “It came into the shop just now. I got here as fast as I could.”

“Ruby what is it?” Her friend’s actions were so bizarre since there wasn’t really anything at _Belle’s Books_ that should affect a doctor. Still, Emma’s gut was screaming at her that whatever Ruby was about to say was big. 

“Look.” Emma’s hands were shaking as she looked down at the first paper. It was an announcement for a new Killian Jones book. Emma’s eyes flashed back up to Ruby’s, her instincts now confirmed, for if Ruby, who knew Emma’s history with Killian, was bringing this to her it was big. “Go on, Emma.”

Emma took a steadying breath and read the brief press release 

 _Mills Publishing is thrilled to announce the latest showing from international best-selling author, Killian Jones. This genre-defying novel, titled_ A Life in Love _, branches away from expectations and proves once and for all that Jones is as versatile as he is poetic. Centered on the young love of a teenage British export and the American girl next door that captivated him from their first meeting,_ A Life in Love _, is already being heralded by critics as ‘the best romance story of the decade’ and ‘impossibly beautiful and hopeful in spite of everything that’s gone wrong for our two heroes.’ The final release date will be announced soon, but expect this new literary staple to hit shelves this holiday season._

Emma felt like the room was swirling around her. Why was Killian moving from his typical fare to this? And more importantly, if this was their story, how could it be hopeful? They hadn’t really spoken in years, but the flutter of hope blended with the confusion in her chest was clinging so tightly Emma could hardly breathe.

“Mama, Doctor Emma looks sick. Is there a doctor for the doctor?” Mary Margaret’s four-year-old Brady asked, though it was really just background noise to Emma. She couldn’t even imagine what she must look like, but she didn’t care. She just needed answers. 

“Ruby, I don’t understand.” Moving forward, her friend took the top page and replaced it with the next one, which only made things more glaring to Emma. There, clear as day, was the intended book cover and the focal image was a heart made of two Swans, one light and one dark. Emma recognized them as Killian’s own drawings, for they were done in a style that she’d watched him draw at least a dozen times when they were younger.

Tears stung at her eyes, and that sense of the world caving in on her hadn’t faded, but her eyes moved down to just beneath the beautiful image, where there were lines including more description about the book. Every word she read harked to Emma and Killian and who she’d always thought they were, but the validation that he’d seen it that way too didn’t bring clarity. She still didn’t understand why, not until she saw the dedication.

_To the savior next door – you’re nothing less than a miracle, and I’m sorry._

“He used to call you that,” Mary Margaret said and Emma looked up at her. “Before, when we were younger. He used to call you his savior whenever anyone asked him why the two of you were so close.”

Emma knew it was true, he’d said it to her more times than she could count, and every time he did it felt like a promise that he’d never leave, and that she mattered. It had made his absence all the harder to deal with.

“Why now?” Emma asked the question though neither of her friends would have the answer, but both Ruby and Mary Margaret gave Emma a hopeful smile.

“Because now is all we have, Emma. You should hear him out, talk to him.”

“How?! I don’t even know his number anymore, and it’s not like he’s reached out aside from…” Ruby filled in when Emma hesitated.

“Aside from writing an entire novel about loving you?” Emma couldn’t even nod. She was still in such shock about all of it. 

“Yeah, aside from that.”

At that moment, both Emma and Mary Margaret’s cell phones dinged and Emma pulled hers out instinctively, just needing the mundane action. She saw the text was from Elsa, whom she was supposed to be getting together with tonight. Did her friend know about this, or how she could get in touch with Killian?

 _‘About dinner … Liam and I kind of have an unexpected guest.’_ Emma nearly dropped her phone. This was a dream. It had to be. Any second now she would wake up to realize this was just her pent up feelings about a lifetime ago, instead of real life. The thought made her incredibly sad, because in spite of everything she wanted to see him, to talk to him, to try and understand. 

“Emma what is it?” Ruby asked but Emma shook her head, pinching herself and feeling the sting of pain. Oh god, maybe this _was_ all real. The thought had her whole body surging with more adrenaline. 

“He’s back. And he’s coming to the reunion,” Mary Margaret said, passing the phone to Ruby to show her. 

“Do you think he’s here for good?” Ruby asked and Emma closed her eyes.

_God, I hope so._

…………………….

“I have to admit, brother, when you make amends, you don’t go by halves.”

Killian grinned at his brother’s words. He’d been back in Storybrooke for all of two hours, but standing here, in front of the old Gardiner House that he’d recently purchased, he finally felt the peace that this place had always afforded him. Yes, there were still things missing, and there was so much left to do, but he was making progress, and the first step to proving to Emma that he would love her forever had been undertaken. This house was a part of the puzzle that would come into play soon enough.

“Emma used to tell me all the time that this was the picture of a perfect home, and I intend to show her it still can be.”

Killian gazed upon the yellow Victorian home and chronicled the few changes he still wanted to make to the exterior. He’d update the white picket fence, add more of Emma’s favorite flowers to the gardens in front and in back of the property, and put in a swing on that big wrap around porch. Killian had already had much of the inside revamped by a local contractor to include new amenities and to refurbish the existing structure. He intended to keep the aura of this home in tact while still giving his Swan the home she deserved. He hoped some day it would be theirs together, but either way it was hers. He’d already put it in her name. 

“It’s lovely, Killian.” Killian appreciated Elsa’s response as his future sister in law held onto Liam’s arm. “And she’ll come around, with enough time and patience, she’ll be yours.”

Killian truly hoped that was the case. Even if he didn’t deserve it, the only thing he wanted in all the world was Emma back by his side. He’d made enough mistakes to last a lifetime; he had no intentions of continuing on such a path.

“So what now?” Liam asked, pulling Killian from his internal reverie.

“Now I get to work on making things right.” 

**_Post-Note: So this version of this story is something that came to me in a flash recently, and I considered making it a oneshot for my mixtape collection, but decided it has enough potential for a multi-chapter fic. At this point, I’m not sure how long it will be, though I do have an ending in mind. Since it’s so in flux though, I would LOVE to hear what you guys think and what you might like to see if I continue this story. Thank you all so much for reading, and I sincerely hope that you all have a lovely week._ **


	2. Chapter 2

**_A/N: This is a story that is so conducive to just fluff and love and cute sappy romance. It’s cathartic to write, and lovely to dream up but I do just want to give you all a heads up: This chapter includes a snippet of part of the first chapter of Killian’s book, and it is in first person (as told by Killian). Just didn’t want anyone to get confused on that! And like I said, it’s a small part, so Emma would have read something much longer than what I’ve got here, but this is the little portion I thought was most important for readers to see. I hope you guys continue to like the story, and thanks for reading!_ **

After a few hours that were blissfully hectic at the clinic, Emma was cornered once more by her loving, but demanding and nosey friends. After Ruby dropped the bomb about Killian’s book, and Mary Margaret and Elsa confirmed that he was back, a meeting had been called, the cavalry was summoned so to speak, and now they were here, at an emergency friend lunch at Granny’s. If Emma was going to answer all these questions and feel all these emotions, there better be enough grilled cheese and onion rings to drown her sorrows in.

Under other circumstances, a meeting of these women would signal nothing but fun and love and acceptance to Emma. Between her three best friends from high school, Ruby, Belle, and Mary Margaret, and her newer but just as wonderful friend Elsa, who moved to town after meeting Liam two years ago, she had enough support to last ten lifetimes, but right now they needed answers before they could help, and their patience was beginning to wear a little thin.

“Okay, Emma, we’ve made all the small talk we’re going to make. Now you have to tell us, what really happened when we all went to college?” Ruby’s forthright question didn’t surprise Emma, for her friend always valued open honesty and bluntness. That didn’t make confessing easier though.

“What happened is I was in love with my best friend for years.” Emma knew that wouldn’t be enough to hold them over but it was the first time in a very long time she’d admitted her romantic love for Killian out loud. It felt like a weight was lifted but also like an old wound was being poked. Everything happening right now made Emma feel too raw, and too exposed to everyone and everything. 

“Honey, I love you, but if you don’t think we all knew that part already, you’re in for a surprise.” Belle placed her hand over Emma’s and patted it gently, a silent prodding for her to continue.

“Well that last summer our friendship became more. We were together… until we weren’t.”

Mary Margaret’s shock at the announcement was profound, as was that of Ruby and Belle.

“Wait, Ems, you were _with him,_ with him?” Ruby asked and Emma nodded, kind of surprised that they hadn’t realized that.

“Of course I was. You all knew that, you gave me so much grief over the summer poking fun at my _‘secret romance._ ’” Mary Margaret shook her head.

“Emma we all thought you were seeing Walsh Miller. We had absolutely no idea you were seeing Killian!” Emma choked on the sip of water she’d been drinking. 

“I’m sorry, what? Walsh Miller?!” Her friends all nodded as Elsa looked on with confusion.

“Okay, sorry, operating at a loss here. Who is this guy?” Emma filled her non-native friend in.

“Walsh was a guy we all went to school with who I helped tutor for the SATs and then tried to kiss me, but I never dated him ever! Why would you guys think that?” Emma asked, and Belle responded with a sad look on her face.

“Because Walsh told everyone that you were."

Emma gaped at Belle, clutching her glass so tight it might have shattered with even an ounce more force.

“How has this never come up? I mean really guys, Walsh Miller?! You’ve never once made fun of that life choice you all thought I made, and he would have been worth berating me over.” Ruby flipped her hair over her shoulder.

“Oh honey, trust me, we know how bad it looked, but by the time we were going to really confront you, Killian had left and you were devastated. We all assumed Walsh was a regret because you should have been with Killian, we never realized that you had been all this time.”

All of her friends’ faces portrayed their genuine sympathy and Emma wanted to just curl up in a ball and hide.

“How many people thought I was with Walsh?” All three of her high school friends replied immediately.

“Everyone.”

Elsa grabbed at Emma’s arm and drew her attention directly.

“Emma, maybe that’s why Killian left. Maybe he thought you were with Walsh.” Emma shook her head, now angry at that line of thinking.

“Elsa, I lost my virginity to him after five years of being his best friend. I know Killian, if he heard gossip, he’d have not only talked to me, he’d have punched Walsh in the face.” Her friends were all quiet at that. “What?” Emma asked.

“You’re just so sure of him, Emma. Even after everything.” Belle’s comments were interrupted by Ruby.

“Wait, Emma, where did Walsh kiss you?” What a strange question to be asked.

“In my backyard, why?” A niggling thought made its way to the forefront of Emma’s mind, and a beginning of potential understanding settled in. The kiss happened not even two days before Killian left. What if he saw it? Emma had truly thought nothing of it, since she’d pushed Walsh away immediately, but it was possible that Killian had caught just the second where Emma hadn’t yet reacted. It still wouldn’t make the fact that he’d just left with barely a thirty second goodbye okay, but it would definitely explain a lot about how quickly things had gone sour. “It’s been ten years though, and there’s no way he could claim that he thought I was with Walsh all this time.”

“You’re right, but I think you and Killian were as close as you are because you’re both very alike. If the tables had been reversed, would you have acted any differently?”

Emma liked to think that she would have, that she’d have fought for him, or screamed or yelled or something, but then she realized that the girl she was at eighteen was at a completely different level of emotional maturity than the woman she was now. Heartbreak like that, even if just perceived, might have been too much to handle.

“I can’t even know for sure that’s what went wrong.” That was the most frustrating thing. All of this was just conjecture.

“No you can’t. Not until you talk to him.” Ruby’s words settled onto Emma like a cloud of anticipation. The moment was coming where they’d need to meet again, and she was so excited at the chance and utterly terrified that he’d hurt her all over again.

“I thought you might have the chance at dinner tonight, but Killian told us he won’t be in.” It still rocked her to her core to know that he was here, physically in Storybrooke. Elsa saw him only a few hours before and now it was time for Emma to ask a question of her own, but before she could, Mary Margaret spoke.

“Are his intentions good, Elsa? Be honest.” Without hesitation her blonde friend nodded.

“I can’t say anything else, because I just really don’t know that much, but he came to try and make it better. He knows he was in the wrong, and now all he has his sights on is making amends for that and getting Emma back.” Emma’s heart leapt at the claim. He wanted her back, but Emma now thought he might never have really lost her in the first place. She’d certainly never known another love that came anywhere close to what she felt for him. 

“He’ll fix it,” Belle said with conviction. Emma barked out a bit of laughter in the face of Belle’s confidence.

“You sure about that?” Emma hoped that would be the case, but old habits died hard, and her sarcastic wit rose up as a means of defense.

“Absolutely. You guys are the real deal, and yeah, you have stuff to get through, but I’ve read enough stories to know what true love looks like. It has to work out.”

True love – Emma always considered her feelings for Killian to be just that, like something from a fairytale, but fairytales didn’t usually have the Prince leaving without so much as a word. They did have hardships though, and the heroes always came out stronger when they braved those battles together.

“Jeez, Belle. Put the weight of your whole romantic world view on her shoulders, why don’t you?” Ruby joked, and when all of her friends laughed, Emma knew the worst of this interrogation was over. Anticipation stayed close through the rest of the meal, and her afternoon, but so did hope, hope that things could work out, and that despite her reservations, she may yet find that happily ever after she’d always dreamed of.

………………

_Dinner was never going to work,_ Killian reasoned with himself as he finished clipping together the freshly printed papers in his hands. As soon as Elsa mentioned to him earlier that morning that she expected Emma at the house for dinner, Killian knew he had to find a way around it even if it went against every fiber of his being which was craving to see her again. Part of Killian wanted to rush this all, to just tell her everything and pray for her mercy, but thank God that wasn’t the part of him making the decisions.

Instead of seeking immediate gratification shared with Liam and Elsa in their company as well, Killian decided to stay the course of his plan. Over the past three months, he didn’t just write this novel for Emma, but charted a course of how to make his reentry into her life. If he was going to gain her trust back, it would take something more than happenstance. He needed romance, and thoughtfulness and proof that he loved her, and he was finalizing such a gesture right now as he placed the first chapter of his manuscript in an elegant green box.

The box exactly matched the shade of her eyes and he wrapped it closed with a white ribbon, attaching one last element inspired by the Emma he’d once known - a sprig of lilac blossoms. When they’d been kids, they’d wandered all around the area to find her bouquets upon bouquets of the flowers for the few weeks they were in bloom. Lilac season happened months back, but Killian located an out of season vendor in Boston and paid to have the flowers shipped here. It was a small portion of a much larger message that he hoped the first chapter of his book projected, which was that nothing and no one had ever compared to her in his eyes. He’d even written the first draft of the story with their original names and decided to give her that version so she knew without a doubt that she’d been in his thoughts all the while.

“Elsa’s just arrived at the diner, so you should be all set, brother.” Liam’s words from the doorway of Killian’s childhood bedroom, brought back memories of all the years he’d lived here under his brother’s protection. Liam managed for such a long time to keep Killian out of trouble, despite their paternally gifted, genetic predisposition for general dishonor, and the pain of losing their mother when Killian was so young. He’d only been able to do it by transcending his role of brother and becoming a parent as well, but now that Killian was older, he felt a friendship with his brother he’d doubted would ever come when he was a boy. “This part would be a bit easier if she still lived next door.”

“I’m not expecting any part of it to be easy. But a man unwilling to fight for what he wants, deserves what he gets.” Liam’s grin in the face of his statement prompted a smile from Killian as well.

“With words like that, how can you not prevail? But I’d get a move on if I were you.” Killian agreed and gathered the box up in his arms before heading out into the warm, sunny day. He knew as he moved through the small town, that the sunglasses he wore would do little to hide who he was, but where he’d expected people to directly approach him, he got mostly stares and whispers between the passersby. Some people waved, but it wasn’t until he was almost at Emma’s apartment by the marina, that he ran into a truly friendly face.

“I knew I hadn’t really seen the last of Killian Jones in this town.” David Nolan, one of Killian’s best friends from high school grinned at him as he crossed the small street with not one, but four kids in tow. Killian knew of all of Dave’s good fortune, having done his best to keep in touch from across the country over the years, but to see these young ones in the flesh was a bittersweet thing. They were all lovely miniature mixtures of their parents, who Killian greatly admired, but they were also a representation of what he wanted with Emma, and the life he could have already been building with her. “Kids, this is your Uncle Killian, say hi.”

Killian expected them to be thrown off by calling him Uncle, since it was news to him that he was still held in such high regard by the Nolan’s, but instead the kids looked at him with wonder in their eyes.

“You’re who Auntie Emma’s marrying?” The words from the little girl on crutches before him shocked Killian but he couldn’t help smiling as he looked at Dave.

“This is Eva. She’s a very good listener, but terrible with assumptions and secrets.” Eva looked a little remorseful and Killian set out to ease her mind.

“If all goes well, then yes, lass.” She smiled at that as her younger brother crossed his little arms over his chest.

“You made her sick.” Killian raised a brow and the boy continued. “We saw Auntie Emma, but she was Doctor Emma then, and Mommy said she got reminded about love and that’s why she looked so sick. Now she needs grilled cheese to feel better, because it’s the best medicine.”

Killian looked to David, needing just a bit of translation from what his son meant.

“Brady is our future doctor. He watches everything meticulously, but unlike his sister here, he’s yet to grasp the listening part. Mary Margaret and the kids were there this morning when Emma found out about the book and that you’re back. Now the girls are all at Granny’s. But with that in hand, I’m sure you already know that and are going for a classic Killian gift.”

Killian scratched behind his ear, forgetting how well David always seemed to know him. Killian loved giving Emma little things all through their friendship and that last summer. He liked to know that she’d face a happy surprise, for sometimes life brought truly bad ones. He didn’t realize that everyone had been paying attention though. Still, he nodded at David and addressed little Brady once more.

“I think what I did will take more than grilled cheese to fix, lad, but I’m doing my best.”

Brady considered for a moment before accepting Killian’s words. His eyes shifted to the lilacs and the boys face lit up.

“Your prognosis is good.”

Killian let out a laugh at the strange choice of words, but it showed that the boy truly did take interest in Emma’s line of work. He imagined Emma was a wonderful Aunt to all of these children, and he longed to see that relationship soon. Such a wish reminded him of his purpose, and with just a few more words promising not to be a stranger, and to keep David updated, Killian set off to find Emma’s place finally.

The building where she lived was beautiful, a two family house freshly painted white. It was crisp and clean and a good size for a single woman living alone, but once at the door, Killian debated whether or not to leave his gift there or embrace some of their more questionable, youthful tendencies and slip it actually inside her house. Before he could think the better of the two choices, an old woman came out from the second part of the house. Killian instantly recognized her as Mrs. Hubbard, one of the kindest women who’d ever lived in Storybrooke.

“My goodness! You have nearly scared me to death. Quite a greeting upon your return Killian.” He smiled, extending his hand to hold the woman’s arm and steady her a bit.

“Apologies, mam, I did not intend to frighten anyone.” Mrs. Hubbard smirked at that, her eyes soft though underneath the smile.

“No I dare say you didn’t. You’ve come to make amends to Emma after all these years. Well it certainly took you long enough. That for her?” Mrs. Hubbard pointed at the box and Killian nodded and then she was pulling a ring of keys from her pocket and opening Emma’s door. “Good. Presents are a start. I heard you bought the old Gardiner House too. She’ll be plenty pleased for that when she forgives you, and if we need to hurry her along at all, I can always pretend my grandson’s inheriting. I haven’t had a good chance for playacting in many years.” 

“I appreciate the offer,” Killian said, walking into Emma’s house behind the old woman. “But I need to do this right. Honesty at every turn, and all that.” He allowed himself a moment to look around the front of her house, finding it to be exactly what he expected. The house smelled of her, like lavender and vanilla and sunshine, and the place was clean without being meticulously neat. Her style remained eclectic, but she’d truly made a home here. Of that he was envious. 

“Oh you’re probably right. Now go on and put that on the table just there. She’s a creature of habit, that one, and as soon as she gets home she’ll drop her keys there. I’ll write her a note saying I let you in so she knows you’re not some crazy stalker now that you’re back from California.” Killian hadn’t even thought of that possibility, so he appreciated Mrs. Hubbard’s offer. Placing the box down on the counter, Killian knew it was time to go. Even if Emma wouldn’t be back for hours, and despite his desire to get a better picture into how she lived now, he’d not earned the right to know such things, and would wait until he had done so to take such liberties.

Killian took his leave of Mrs. Hubbard and stepped back out into the beautiful Maine afternoon once more. For the rest of the day, he’d go to the new house and start making some of the changes he wanted to see. While he didn’t want to move in there unless he had Emma by his side, there were still adjustments to be made to have it perfect for her. For a few hours at least he would work towards that goal, but everything at this point was just filler until he could see his Swan again.

……………………

_Slamming the door behind me, I expected my brother to yell or scream or follow me, but nothing of the sort happened. Instead I stormed off to stew in my own anger and discontent. I’d been fighting this move ever since Liam told me of it weeks before, but being here in the flesh only made things worse. At home, everything reminded me of my Mum, which hurt like nothing I’d ever known, but leaving all together denied me the friends I’d had as long as I could remember, and the place I’d always called home. I had no love in my heart for Storybrooke, Maine. None in the slightest._

_Whether it was instinct, or subtle clues that informed my steps, I made my way eventually to the beach, and in the face of the ocean felt my emotions dull slightly, a soft sense of calm washing over me. The sands currently hosted families and individuals alike, all seeking to enjoy the tail end of summer before the autumn returned once more. They all seemed happy enough, but there was no mandate dictating that only the joyful could enjoy the ocean._

_I kicked off my shoes and walked through the grainy sands, avoiding the patches rocks to get down to the surf itself, but halfway down the beach I froze in place. All of my emotions swirled together and manifested as something greater that I could only describe as complete and utter awe._

_About a hundred feet away from me stood a girl near my age with long blonde hair whipping around in the breeze. The tendrils, though battered by the wind, looked soft and luscious, and framed her face like the last rays of sunlight that brushed the earth at the end of a long day. Her skin looked sun kissed, but I knew any other time of the year she’d be fair, for even from here I could see her freckles. Everything about her was a vision, more lovely than I could ever have imagined and then her eyes locked with mine and time stopped._

_It wasn’t the unspeakably beautiful color, so much as the undeniable sense of life in her eyes that grabbed me. She radiated what it meant to be young and vibrant, and as someone who’d shut out such tendencies in my own life for months now, I craved any exposure to it I could get. When she smiled at me, I tried my best to smile back, but had no idea if I’d accomplished to do so. The blush that spread across her cheeks told me that maybe I hadn’t. Hell, I was likely looking at her like a starving man looked at a steak, but I couldn’t help it. She was too much for me to comprehend or even fathom._

_“You’re different.” The words passed her lips and sounded like the sweetest chimes of a bell to my ears. I didn’t truly understand their meaning, but I nodded._

_“I just moved here.” She shook her head, smiling again as she walked towards me, closing the space between us._

_“That’s not what I meant.” I felt myself crack a smile for the first time in the longest time and it felt good, but not as good as being this close to her did._

_“What did you mean?” I silently pleaded with the Gods to have mercy on me. Let her find my foreignness endearing, and not a reason to turn away from me. Instead of turning, she studied my features, lingering on my eyes before shrugging slightly._

_“I don’t know how to explain it, I just know. I’m Emma, Emma Swan.” She extended her hand to me, and I reached out to take it readily. Kids our age didn’t really shake hands, another indication that Emma too was different. Even at the first touch I felt the spark. Just with her kindness she’d zapped a bit of life back inside me, that had been missing for forever._

_“Killian Jones.”_

_“Do you know anything about sand dollars, Killian?” I shook my head, for other than what they looked like, I hadn’t a clue about them. I wished in that moment that I’d written the bloody book on them just so as not to disappoint her, but she smiled again, pulling up the pail she’d had in her other hand and handing me something. “Around here, they’re almost impossible to find, and you never find a perfect one, but today I did.”_

_“It’s beautiful.” I said, my fingertips grazing the slope of the shell, but my eyes still flickered between the sand dollar and the girl who’d given it to me. It didn’t hold a candle to her. I tried to hand it back but she shook her head._

_“You keep it, as a welcome to Storybrooke.” I couldn’t understand such benevolence from a person I didn’t even know, but every second in her presence only solidified for me that she was some angelic sort of miracle from beyond. I was only thirteen, and had never been in love, but in a matter of minutes Emma Swan was becoming the best part of my world, really the only part that shone with such light and goodness. Only after a beat of silence did I begin to panic. What could I do? What could I say to stay beside her and in her good graces?_

_“You know, in England, exchanging a sand dollar with someone is the highest form of trust. Legend says it creates a bond that can’t be broken.” She laughed at that, a melodic sound that sailed through the wind to me and warmed my heart to an impossible degree._

_“That is bull shit and you know it.” I grinned, loving that she’d seen through me so easily, and that she hadn’t been afraid to curse while calling me out._

_“Maybe, but we could start our own tradition.” She raised a brow at that._

_“Maybe we could.” Her shy smile returned causing my heart to skip a beat, and as I watched the fading sun color her in warm hues and picture perfect lighting, I made a vow to do whatever it took to create such a bond between the two of us. There was just something about her that called to me, that told me I needed her, and it would not be denied._

_Emma mentioned her need to return home, and I offered to walk her back, filling the time by answering her questions about where I was from, and what England was like. I wanted to ask her more about her, desiring a glimpse into who this magical girl was, but she evaded me, playing my eagerness to please her like a fiddle that had me talking the whole walk back. When I looked up to find that her house was right beside mine, I couldn’t believe my luck or keep the beaming smile from my face._

_“See you tomorrow?” She asked as she turned back from her front door._

_“See you tomorrow, Swan.” I watched her blush once more at my use of her surname even through the twilight, and never looked away as she went inside, only moving from my spot once I knew she was safely behind the door._

_I walked the rest of the small distance to my new home with a completely different worldview. Liam looked at me curiously when he saw my smile and I thought he might actually tip over with surprise when I thanked him for moving us here. Before he could respond though I moved into my room and closed the door._

_Rummaging through the boxes we’d had shipped from home, I looked and looked until I found the small wooden chest I’d been avoiding since Mum died. Inside were the things she’d most wanted me to have: pictures of us, my first baby tooth, my grandmother’s engagement ring and so on. I hadn’t so much as looked at the chest, never mind opened it, and I still didn’t move to unlatch the metal inscribed with Celtic knots. Instead I placed the box on my dresser and then placed the sand dollar on top of it. The first gift Emma Swan ever gave me deserved a place of honor, and I could think of no place better than here. My mother would have liked her, of that I was sure, and that certainty gave me leave to start to fall in love with my new found savior next door._

……………………

Speechless – that was the only way to describe Emma’s current state. The story he’d written, the one grounded in their truth and their history but also so many parts he’d never said aloud was so life altering, Emma could barely breathe. Tears streamed down her face and she closed her eyes, clutching the papers to her chest. If he was looking for forgiveness, he had it, because Emma knew in her heart that no one could write like this if their love wasn’t true and real. Was she still scared? Absolutely, but she also realized that her greatest enemy was time. They’d missed out on so much already, why should they miss out on anything else.

Rummaging through her purse, Emma had one thought in mind – figure out where Killian was and talk to him. She didn’t have his current number, but she did have Elsa. The phone rang once, twice, and just as Emma began to worry her friend picked up.

_“Hi, Emma, everything all right?”_ Elsa’s sincere want to help and to see Emma happy was a lovely thing, but determination to see Killian kept her own response somewhat less polite.

“Where is he, Elsa?” She could practically hear her friend smiling through the phone.

_“He’s been fixing up the new house for most of the day, but he mentioned something about sunset on the beach.”_

_Of course he was there,_ Emma thought, as tears streamed down her face again, not even understanding the bit about the house. She wiped the tears away as she stood up, gathering her things and preparing herself to find him in the same spot where they’d met. She thanked Elsa quickly before almost running through her front door and down the winding streets to the beach. There were only a few people milling about, but standing right where she expected him was Killian, looking out at the water. She stood frozen on the sand, unsure of whether to speak or just keep walking towards him when he turned around to face her.

He was so much changed from the boy he’d been at eighteen, with a beard and a shorter hair cut and so much more manly definition, and yet looked so strikingly similar. His cerulean eyes pierced her soul just the same, and watched her with that same level of love that they always had. It felt like just yesterday and a lifetime ago since she’d seen him, and she felt the tears start again.

“Emma, love, you’re even more beautiful than I remembered.” Emma swallowed the thickness in her throat, trying to clear up space for words. As she did, he pulled something from the pocket of his jeans and offered it to her. It was the same sand dollar, which Emma had never even imagined he’d still have. “I couldn’t find a new one, but I swear I’ve been looking.”

She took the sand dollar from him, feeling the brush of their fingertips and closing her eyes at the contact. She could feel the tears starting again at how sweet and surreal all of this was. She didn’t want him to see her cry, but there was no hiding it. In seconds, his arms were around her, and his hands had come to wipe away the tears.

“Emma, I’m more sorry than I can ever say. I made a mistake, and one moment’s fear snowballed into the biggest regret of my life. Leaving you was the hardest thing I’d ever done, and to find it was all for nothing… I don’t think I’ll ever forgive myself for it.”

“So it was the Walsh thing,” Emma said, her voice too soft, and too full of emotion to sound like her own.

“Yes, love, but it shouldn’t have mattered. The boy I was may have run, but the man isn’t willing to give up so easily. I love you, Emma. I always have and I always will, and if forgiveness comes tomorrow, or next year, or fifty years from now, I’ll wait for it. I will do anything to make this right.” She looked into his face, and saw the truth residing there.

Without another thought she pulled him down to her and kissed him. It was better than any kiss they’d ever shared, more meaningful than any other kiss she’d ever have, and in it she found the strength to say that the past could be behind them. Her fingers ran through his soft hair at the nape of his neck, while he held onto her for dear life, clearly craving their connection just as much as she did. The fire that burned for Killian in her heart never died, it was simply waiting for his return, and when Emma pulled back, she immediately missed him all over again.

“Does that kiss mean you’ll let us start over again, love?” Emma shook her head at his hopeful words, but answered him before he could take it too badly.

“No. I don’t want to forget everything we had. I have to believe it all happened for a reason, and that this is our second chance. You can’t have a second chance without having had a first.” Killian’s thumb ran across her cheek as he smiled, the special one she knew he only ever gave to her.

“So what’s next then?” 

“If you think that I’m going to believe you haven’t planned everything down to the smallest detail, you’re crazy.” He laughed at that, and his hand came down to take hers, intertwining their fingers. 

“My plan didn’t include that, kiss, love. Everything’s changed.”

“It has, but let’s just pretend that it isn’t.” He nodded, pulling her along with him away from the beach and back to her house. When they reached her porch once more, Killian raised her hand to his lips and kissed her knuckles gently.

“Might I see you tomorrow, love?” Emma nodded, glad for the chance to clear her head and sleep on everything that happened today. She knew she would wake up just as determined to try and heal things between herself and Killian, but a little space wouldn’t hurt.

“Yes.”

He beamed at her and pressed one last soft kiss to her lips. With that, Emma moved into her house and leaned against the door once it was firmly closed behind her. After only a moment, she pushed away and walked into her bedroom, moving to her dresser. There, in the top drawer, hidden under a mountain of socks, was a picture of the two of them that they’d taken just a few days before he’d left. Emma removed it from its hiding place and placed it flat atop her dresser. They’d been so happy and carefree in that picture, and Emma now dared to dream that they’d find their way back to that place. Time would heal the wound, and Killian’s love would mend this broken heart, she was sure of it.

**_Post-Note: I genuinely cannot express how much I have loved writing this chapter. This fic is fast becoming one of my favorites that I’ve written just because of the opportunities for parallels and cuteness and every good thing. If I had a dollar for every time I got way too excited over an idea for this fic, I could maybe solve the student debt crisis (well maybe not, but you get the idea). I hope you guys enjoyed, and I have outlined quite a few more chapters for this fic. I can see it rivaling some of my older stories in terms of how many chapters I could write, and I think it will probably be here a long time. Hope you’ll all join me on this fun new adventure, and I would love to hear what you all think! Am I moving too fast? Too slow? Just right? Really anything and everything I would love to make this as great an adventure for you guys as it is for me! Thanks again for reading, and hope you all have a lovely Sunday._ **


	3. Chapter 3

_Every moment in her presence was the makings of a gorgeous memory._

The same line that she’d read in last night’s gifted portion of Killian’s book rang through Emma’s head. The past few days had brought more snippets into his mentality, all of which shook her to her core, but that line in particular grabbed at her. He’s said what she’d always felt about him so eloquently. Even the most mundane of remembrances were special if Killian was by her side in them, and after years of pushing those down, and trying to leave the past in the past, Emma was enjoying wading back into the waters of their relationship and everything they’d had together.

After that first night though, actual contact between Killian and Emma had been relatively lacking. Killian spent no more than a few minutes with her every day, but there was always something left for her in the morning and at night to show her that she was on his mind. She hadn’t realized when she told him to go slow, that he would listen so well. Baby steps were the better bet, and she had no desire to see them fail a second time, to be sure, but Emma had to admit she missed him. His words kept her warm at night, but she missed the man who’d written them himself. Funny how much progress could be made in so short a time. She was healing enough to let herself miss him, something she hadn’t thought possible.

“You’ve got that goofy grin on your face again.”

Emma shook her head from the daydream clinging to her consciousness and returned her attention to Tiana who now stood in the doorway of Emma’s office. Try as she might, Emma couldn’t make the smile go away, but she attempted to sober up somewhat.

“Yeah, I’m working on it," Emma acknowledged. When the second day of this strange, bubbly state hit, Emma enlisted Tiana’s help to keep her in the present. Emma needed to stay focused on the clinic, but that was a little difficult when she had romantic affairs to consider over sleep-inducing paperwork. 

“It’s okay, you know, to be this happy. You deserve it, Emma.”

Emma liked to think that was true. She did her best to be a good person and to give back to this community, but she’d grown accustomed to simple contentment. Sad as it was to admit, she hadn’t been truly happy in a long time, and Killian’s reappearance promised to bring her more of that. It was intoxicating and terrifying all at once. Emma just smiled and nodded, as the ringing of the phone at the front desk brought Tiana back to her station and left Emma alone once again.

Sixty seconds was all the productivity Emma managed to accrue towards overseeing the medicinal purchases she needed to make for their personal stores this month. Tiana had done all of the assessments, and the woman was never wrong, but usually Emma still checked to be sure. This time though, Emma’s mind returned to earlier this morning, when she’d passed her childhood dream home that the man she loved had recently purchased.

She still couldn’t believe Killian bought the place. It was for her, she knew, another sign of how serious he was about all of this, but it was just so grand a gesture. The intimidation factor of his feelings though, didn’t keep Emma from walking by the house as much as she could. She’d even seen Killian working on it a few times, but when she did she rushed by quickly, hoping he wouldn’t see her making a fool of herself from afar.

“Emma, I’ve got Ruby on the line here for you.” Emma silently thanked Tiana and picked up the phone.

“Hey Ruby," Emma greeted, but her friend merely huffed in response.

_“Okay, I know we’re not supposed to call you and chat about the implications of Killian buying you your dream house, because it puts pressure on you that you don’t need, and the rest of the town is doing enough of that.”_ Emma waited a beat for the other shoe to drop.

“Right…” As expected, Ruby then continued to talk about it.

_“I totally, totally get that. Well I mean not really – because this is huge and we should all be talking about it – but I’m moving on to another element of the story. The plot has thickened, so to speak.”_ Emma perked up at that.

“Really?” What could Killian possibly surprise her with now?

_“Oh yeah. Have you seen the man Killian hired to help him get it ready for its future hominess, because I have to tell you, he is_ fine _!”_

Emma laughed fully at that, allowing herself to feel it all the way down to her toes. Ruby was – well Ruby was Ruby.

“Is that so?” Emma asked, and Ruby murmured through the phone that that was indeed the case.

_“Honey I am staring at the evidence pretty damn hard right now. The man is on the front porch just working away and it’s taking everything in me not to go over there. I’d use Killian as cover of course. Ask him about the house as a means of introduction.”_ Emma gasped.

“Ruby you wouldn’t.” Ruby asking about the house would become an interrogation about Killian’s intentions said loud enough for the whole neighborhood to hear.

_“I would, unless you get your ass down here and drag me away.”_  

“Ruby I’m-“ The line cut out as Ruby hung up on her, “Working,” Emma said to dead air.

“Technically it’s time for lunch,” Tiana mentioned from the doorway. Emma had a sneaking suspicion that her PA had been listening in to the call, which was only confirmed when Tiana continued. “And I wouldn’t test Ruby. If she says she’s going in…”

“Then she’s going in. Yeah I know.”

Much as she feared Ruby’s conduct if she didn’t get there quickly, Emma also somewhat appreciated the fact that she was being called back to the house once more. It gave her a chance to see Killian, talk to him and maybe to tell him that she was ready for things to pick up a bit despite her earlier insistence on going slow before. She could definitely persuade him given enough time and opportunity, and maybe Emma could get thoroughly kissed in the process. God willing.

“The grin’s back.”

_And here to stay_ , Emma thought as she closed the door and headed towards the house once more.

………………….

Very few things compared to the pride of fixing or building something with one’s own hands. Creating a dynamic character, finding the fix in the plot line, the eventual sigh of relief when the book was finished, it all gave Killian a sort of high in his professional life, but this, working towards a life with Emma and mending the broken pieces of this house and their relationship, blew all of those moments out of the water. Killian already knew that this task, of making her fall in love with him again and to trust him fully, was the most important and potentially most rewarding work he’d ever done. It outweighed any job-related success, money made, or titles earned and knowing that fueled him to keep going, crossing item after item off of his list to get done for Emma.

“Sometimes I wonder why you even brought me on to help at all.”

Killian put the hammer in his hand down on the steps, taking a moment to examine the portion of the front porch he’d just mended. Then he turned his attention to Graham, a local contractor from the next town over who was assisting with a number of jobs Killian felt needed a higher level of expertise and wanted done quickly. Now that the ball was rolling, Killian didn’t want this construction going on forever. Maybe he’d had years to put together the house he lived in in California, but he couldn’t wait that long to give this one to Emma.

“Too cushy a gig for you, Huntsman?” Graham laughed, wiping the sweat from his brow brought on by the late summer sun.

“I’ve had worse. This one’s got decent company and a parade of attractive women coming at all hours to stand and watch.” Killian grimaced at that last bit. He felt his jaw clench at the thought that Graham noticed Emma, who was in every way _not_ available to Graham, but then the man continued. “I’m not talking about Emma, man.”

“Am I really that transparent?” Graham just grinned in response.

“You pay attention to one person and one person alone, and it’s her. You’ve had a town full of people sauntering by for a glimpse, but you only ever see her. You’ve got Emma radar or something.” Killian shrugged. Graham wasn’t wrong after all. All of that was true.

“So if you weren’t speaking of Emma, who were you on about?” Graham nodded towards the street.

“ _She’s_ the leader of the pack, and quite easily the best looking woman I’ve ever seen, and she’s been standing there nearly ten minutes licking her lips behind those sunglasses.”

Killian looked over and let out a bark of laughter. Ruby Lucas was indeed staring their way and it took her a moment to break away from her ogling of Graham to see Killian. He waved at her and she did the same.

“You know her?” Graham asked and Killian nodded.

“She’s Emma’s friend.” Graham punched Killian in the arm. “Fuck, what was that for?”

“You mean to tell me you could have introduced me already?” Killian rubbed at the injured spot and cursed again. Yes he technically could do that, but it hadn’t occurred to him. 

“Forgive me for fixating on my own love life. It’s the pressing issue at hand, after all.” Graham grumbled but then perked up.

“Ha! Turns out I don’t need you after all. I’ll just ask Emma to do the honors.”

Killian’s head flipped back around to see that Emma now stood with Ruby talking to her. From her stance and hand gestures, Killian could tell Emma was trying to rein Ruby in some, but that would never work. Killian pushed up to a straighter standing position, trying to wipe some of his own sweat off with his shirt. Emma caught the action though, and he realized he’d unintentionally flashed her a glimpse of his body. She stood stunned, but clearly aroused, with a blush of red creeping up her neck to her cheeks and Killian’s chest flooded with pride. She should like what she saw; it was all hers after all.

“Emma,” He said her name lightly to bring her attention back to him. Her green eyes flashed to his and she blushed even deeper but cleared her throat as she stepped closer.

“Hey, sorry to just come over like this.” Emma tucked a strand of hair behind her ear as Killian reached out for the other hand. 

“You come here anytime you like, love.” He nearly finished with ‘ _it’s your house’_ but he didn’t want to overwhelm her, and the reveal that this was indeed her property in every sense of the word was something he’d rather save until they were alone and more settled. She smiled at that, squeezing his hand a little tighter. Ruby meanwhile cleared her throat and Emma rolled her eyes, shaking her head slightly.

“The reason for our visit is that Ruby has a new found… _interest_ in all things contracting.” Killian nodded, trying to keep the laughter at bay. 

“Well such questions should probably go to Graham. Ladies this is Graham. Graham this is Emma Swan and Ruby Lucas.” After a brief hello, Emma pulled Killian with her away from the flirting beginning to unfold between Ruby and Graham. The little bit they did overhear went straight for dirty innuendos on both parts.

“Can’t wait to get me alone?” Killian joked and Emma laughed, the sound washing over him as it always did.

“Something like that.” Once around the corner, Emma pulled him towards her and kissed him, surprising Killian. It only took him a second to catch up with her though, giving her just as good as she was giving him. Pulling away from her was incredibly difficult but he had to do it all the same.

“I’ve been working out in the sun all day, love. I’m afraid I’ll get you dirty.” Emma smiled.

“Is it terribly gauche if I say I don’t mind getting a little dirty?” Her fingertips came to clutch at his shirt and he groaned.

“No, Swan. It’s exactly the kind of thing I like to hear, but we’re taking this slowly remember?” Emma tilted her head, her eyes moving to his lips, which still tingled from her kiss. He wondered if she could hear the audible gulp he’s just made as a means of holding back from her.

“I think we should revisit that idea. It’s not working so well for me anymore.” Killian worried for a moment that she meant all of this wasn’t working for him, but her hands were still on him, and she looked at him like she wanted him, so he rallied.

“Just tell me what you want, love and I’ll do anything in my power to give it you.” Emma smiled, stepping back but taking his hand once more.

“I know you will.” Killian didn’t want the moment to end, even if they’d reached this quiet sort of interlude, so he pulled her further back around the house.

“I’ve been meaning to get your opinion, love, about what to do with this garden.”

Emma eagerly looked at the space with him and told him that the best garden flowers in her opinion were lilacs and roses for the spring, and a row of sunflowers for the summer and colored pansies that popped up in the early fall. She lent her opinion easily, and all the while Killian silently cheered his own victory. He’d already made the plans for the garden with a local landscaper, and had gotten nearly every detail right. As much as Emma had changed in their time apart, she was still the same girl at heart. The thought prompted him to kiss her hand lightly just before they came back around the house again.

“Since you’ve asked to speed up the timeline again, Swan, I could give you your pages for the day now if you-“

“Yes! Definitely right now, yes!” Emma covered her mouth and giggled, likely at his reaction to her unexpected outburst. He moved to grab the box with the pages today from his bag and handed it to her. When it was in her hands, Killian watched her trace her fingers over the white ribbon on the yellow box. “I probably won’t read it until later still, but I like the idea that I’ll have it with me today. That I’ll have you with me.”

What was he to say in the face of such proclamations? He first tried to convey his happiness at her want for him with another kiss, but then drew back again, keeping his eyes closed as he remained close to her. She even smelled like sunshine today, instead of just looking like it. Feeling the smoothness of her skin under his hands he finally opened up to look at her again and found her smiling.

“It’s hard to be scared that you’ll break my heart again when you react like that to kissing me.” Killian growled a bit at that. The flare of anger was all aimed at his own past misconduct, but he felt inclined to tell her no more of such behavior would transpire.

“There will never again be a moment even edging on heart break. Not by my hand.” Emma sighed happily, running her thumb across his hand with the lightest of touches.

“Okay, as nice as this has all been, we should probably pry Ruby off of Graham, or I’ll never get back to work and get to read this.” Killian laughed as they did just that. It took a bit of time to convince Ruby that she and Emma actually needed to go, but eventually they got there. Killian watched Emma walk away and though it would never feel natural to watch her move away from him, he was confident that he’d see her again tonight. In fact, he already had it all planned. All he had to do was wait.

…………………..

_Chasing Emma through the trees and trails she already knew so well in the fading twilight, I willed myself to stay on my feet. It would be a bloody miracle if I didn’t face plant, I knew, but through some happenstance of fate I managed to survive. Perhaps it was the melodic way her laugh filtered through the trees, or the completely enthralling image she made with her long blonde waves flowing back in the wind. Every now and again she looked over her shoulder to see if I was still with her, and I was determined not to let her down. That didn’t mean I didn’t thank God himself when we finally came to the clearing, and she slowed her pace to a steady walk._

_“I’m impressed, Jones. You did pretty well for a first timer.” I grunted in response, still trying to catch my breath, which only made the smile on her face grow. She was lovely, even if she was hell bent on killing me._

_“For a first timer? How often are you bringing people here, Swan?” Her eyes dimmed a bit and she bit her lip._

_“Usually I come here by myself. I haven’t shared it with anyone before.” My heart leapt at her reply while also crying out for her. I got the impression that Emma didn’t have many people she truly trusted, or friends she felt especially close to. I aimed to fix that, to serve that purpose if that was where she’d have me._

_“Well I’m sure the journey here was worth it.” All at once she returned to her usual self. She took off the backpack she wore and pulled from its depths two jars made of glass with tin tops. She’d poked holes in them and everything._

_“Last summer I caught a hundred fireflies in one night, but you have to be patient. They take their time, and make you work for it a little. Some nights their out before the light is gone, and others they don’t come out at all.”_

_The passion with which she talked about these bizarre little insects in the middle of the woods struck me, for there was no denying how important the ritual was to her. She’d assured me that all the bugs were released back into the world at the end of the night, citing all sorts of facts about their fragility of life and their simultaneous resiliency. The way her mind worked intrigued me, and I tried to soak up each and every factoid she decided to bestow on me. Even the most mundane observations charmed me._

_“Why do they light up?” I finally asked her, wondering why she hadn’t answered that most obvious of questions before and she smiled again._

_“Depends who you ask. Science-minded individuals will say it’s a chemical reaction that happens inside of their little bodies called bioluminescence.” I was impressed by her answer, but more intrigued at her inference that there might be more than just the factual, rational explanation._

_“And the non-scientists?” Emma’s eyes scanned the meadow before us as she answered somewhat absently._

_“Some people believe that fireflies are like guardians in a way. They light up the night to show us the way when we can’t see it ourselves. When I was little I used to wish on every one I saw, but it didn’t matter if none of the things I wished for every came true. Just seeing them felt like magic in itself.” No sooner had the words passed her lips than I noticed a blip in the corner of my eye, a yellowish light that was there one second and gone the next. Another appeared, and as if she’d willed them through sheer force of will, the whole meadow filled with off-patterned pulses of light._

_Wordlessly, I watched as Emma unscrewed the cover of her jar and moved into the center of the clearing. With easy, fluid movements, that lacked any sort of painful jerkiness, Emma went about collecting the little bugs in question. More dance than hunt, Emma’s golden hair twisted and twirled with her as she moved about seemingly without a pattern all in the hopes of seeing and catching more of the tiny lightening bugs. The look of entrancement on her features held me captive, and I watched as she lost herself in this meadow, but I knew, even as I moved to catch the first of my own bugs, that I’d never fall away from myself like she had. She took up too much of my world to ever give myself up fully, but I tried to be enough for her, catching my own bugs despite my lack of finesse or skill._

_Every now and then she glanced my way, clearly pleased at my progress, but just as quickly as the looks came, they turned elsewhere. Those beats in time rang out louder to me than even the pounding of my heart, or the chirps of the now waking crickets. For her to see me, even in the midst of this magical moment, made me feel powerful myself, and every fly I collected I caught for her. If she wanted guidance or wishes, she could have all of mine. I had no stronger call for them than to see her happy._

_Finally we stopped, closing up the jars and showing each other the assortment we’d accumulated. She’d far exceeded me as I expected, with nearly double the occupants in her container, but her enthusiasm at ‘our’ collection kept me smiling. Her praise and excitement, both tendencies I’d come to expect from Emma, made all of this worthwhile._

_“Now, what?” I asked, expecting her to explain some new or detailed process of wishing on these curious little beings._

_“Now we let them go.” That was by no means the reply I expected._

_“Just like that?” A small smile tugged at her lips._

_“Don’t you trust me?” I did, with every fiber of my being. Her hands reached out to place my hand on my jar just so, and the warmth of her touch stole my breath away. “It’s best if you close your eyes for a second. You say your wishes in your head and then you let them fly. Ready?”_

_“Aye, Swan.” She smiled again and closed her eyes. I waited another moment to close my eyes, so as to see her do so, and if I was honest, I never truly closed them, sneaking a peak to see the sweet sort of calm that clung to her as she formulated her hopes and dreams._

_“Okay, on three. One, two, three.” We released them all the same time, and I swore they circled Emma in particular, spiraling around her in near pinwheels of light. Her smile grew, her eyes reflecting the natural strobe light, and her hand reached out to mine. “Isn’t it magical?”_

_I knew she was talking about the scene before us, but I could only see her and affirm that it was. Emma had no idea that it wasn’t the fireflies around us illuminating my world but her. Holding her hand, as if it were the most natural thing in the world I admitted to myself the truth I’d been facing since first stumbling upon this girl next door – I loved Emma Swan, and nothing and no one would ever, ever compare._

…………………..

Wiping away tears from her now stained cheeks, Emma wrapped her arm around herself where she sat in her office chair. Unwilling to wait until getting home today for today’s taste of his perceptions, Emma devoured the latest installment as soon as Tiana left for the day. Reading Killian’s words tore her away from the physical reality of her office, and Emma felt like she was living and breathing the memory of that first firefly hunt together.

Emma hadn’t been to see the fireflies since their last summer together, but every now and then the lightening bugs would leave their glen in the forest and find her elsewhere in Storybrooke. She still loved to see them, feeling the second hand magic every time that she did, but she also thought of Killian when they came. Their presence became bittersweet once he’d left, and now, through the story and his return, Emma felt that part of her life and her childhood clicking back into place too.

He thought she hadn’t felt his presence every single second that they’d been out there summer after summer, but she did. All of her wonder and her amazement in seeing the lightening bugs only heightened with him around her. She’d felt the same charge of emotion, and a distinct feeling that she finally had someone who understood and accepted her. She had other friends as a kid, yes, but none so willing to try her quirkier interests on for size as Killian did. He just got her, and now she knew for sure that understanding came from a place of love.

Now nearly desperate to see him, Emma went about closing down the clinic as quickly as she could, fumbling even to lock the door on her way out. Her feet pounded on the pavement as she walked in the direction of Liam’s house, where Emma knew Killian was still staying. Soon enough she was climbing up the steps and knocking on the door. It was like high school all over again, except this time she couldn’t just climb in his window or walk in with little more than a yell to announce her presence. That extra time to wait only increased the energy pulsing inside her. It felt like a small eternity passed before Elsa appeared, opening the door to Emma.

“Emma, you made it!”

“I – _what_?” Was she expected tonight? Had she and Elsa made plans for dinner she didn’t remember? Emma wracked her brain as Elsa smiled. 

“The picnic for you and Killian. He’s been getting it ready all afternoon.”

“A picnic?” Killian came to stand behind Elsa, seeming a little out of breath, as if he’d rushed to the door to intercept his future sister in law.

“Aye, love. I figured we might like provisions for when we watched the show this year.” Elsa excused herself as Killian stepped out onto the porch with Emma. She knew she was still gaping at him, but she simply wasn’t computing things just yet. 

“How did you know I would come?” Killian gave her a shy smile, and that was it, she was toast. Whatever he said it almost didn’t matter. She loved that look of boyishness that came to light on his handsome face. 

“I simply dared to make my firefly wish before we saw them, and this time it came true. At least I hope it did.” He reached for her hand, which Emma readily took.

“I don’t know what to say, except… tell me there’s grilled cheese in that picnic basket.” He laughed at her attempt to lighten yet another beautiful gesture from him.

“Yes, there is.”

“Okay, then.” They walked together down the steps and onto the sidewalk, when something occurred to Emma. “Hold on a second.” 

“Emma?” Killian asked, almost concerned as she shushed him playfully.

“Just trust me and wait here.”

Emma shimmied the gate in front of her old house until it opened and snuck around to the porch steps of the place she used to call home. It was a long shot, but the last place she remembered putting these was – _yes_ , right here. Emma removed the two jars from under the stairs, blew away some of the lingering dirt, and brought them back to where Killian stood waiting for her.

Now armed with the everything they needed, Emma and Killian went on to have a wonderful night, filled with more talking and eating than actual hunting for fireflies. The magic in the air held firm though, even all these years later, and Emma found herself making a wish as she lay in the field with Killian on the soft picnic blanket. She wished that all of this would last forever, and that every year they would do this together. She wished for no more time apart, no more missed moments, and no more what-ifs. And as the lightening bugs danced in the darkness, Emma truly believed that her wish would come true.

**_Post-Note: It’s firefly season where I live, and I knew last week after seeing the first of the lightening bugs that I had to include a story like that in this fic. There’s something so intriguing about their whole existence, and at least for me they really were a childhood fascination. I hope that you guys liked the chapter, and would love to hear what you all thought about it. Seriously all your kind words are so appreciated. I can’t even articulate how much I love getting them! I hope you all are having a lovely weekend, and thanks again for reading!_ **


	4. Chapter 4

**_A/N: Hello all, and thanks again for tuning in to ‘To See You This Way.’ This chapter finds Emma and Killian facing a few pressure points, but in the end realizing that the best way to handle the stressors life throws their way is together. This chapter of course includes a flashback/Killian’s book segment and more fluff than I can say, which is exactly what I needed today. The worst thing about summer is that all the shows are off the air, and I think my fics have all gotten fluffier to cope with that withdrawal. Anyway, thanks for reading and I hope you enjoy!_ **

Despite the glorious September afternoon, with the sun and the subtle ocean breeze blowing through town, Killian felt on edge. What started as a lovely day, where he’d not only managed to share a breakfast date with Emma, but made great strides in working on the house to get it ready, was fast deteriorating. He’d been holding off the rest of the world outside of Storybrooke as best he could for a few weeks now, but the bubble could only hold so strong, and now here he was, dealing with the same old mess he’d been subjected to in California. 

Pressing his fingers against his temples, to alleviate some of the tension building there, Killian prayed for patience. He’d been sitting on this conference call for nearly twenty minutes, listening to his agent and publisher go on ad nauseam about a plan for _A Life in Love_. Never mind that he had no interest in it, never mind that he hadn’t responded to anything they’d said essentially since saying hello. They continued on and on, droning about what they wanted, when the only reason he’d picked up at all was that his phone hadn’t stopped ringing since landing in Storybrooke. It was driving him mental.

The only thing getting him through any of it was thoughts of Emma, and how well things remained between them. He’d never dared to hope that she would find it in her heart to try again so soon. Actually, he’d been prepared for her to never even consider it at all, but here they were, slowly building up to what he wanted – a future where they were securely together, tied to each other from here on out. They had a ways to go, yes, and they were taking it slow since it had only been a few weeks since his return, but for the first time in a long time Killian had hope that he was moving in the right direction. To keep that path though he needed to stay, to be here for Emma no matter what, but the people working on his book were unwilling to see that.

_“I think twenty cities is reasonable. It can be done in the month, no problem. We cover our bases, a few outlets in each city and press junkets –,”_ Finally Killian snapped, unwilling to listen to anymore.

“No.” Silence descended for a beat.

_“No?”_ His publishing liaison asked incredulously, and he could bet the same skepticism currently clung to his agent

“If you could take a minute to stop talking and to actually read through the contract I signed with both of you, you will see that I protected myself from such ridiculousness. I didn’t write this book for the money, and I certainly have no intention of getting on a bloody plane and flying around this country to sell another million copies.”

In truth, this phone call in itself was enough of a burden for Killian to deal with. He’d just begun work on constructing the porch swing, and after a few delays, felt good about installing the custom piece he’d had built to suit the house. The longer he remained on the phone, the longer he’d have to put it off for.

_“No one writes a book and doesn’t care about the money.”_

Killian laughed at the publisher’s strategy. Fool hardy as it was, at least it was grounded in some honesty. His agent would never in a billion years say something like that, probably because she knew Killian better than that and didn’t want to risk the money she did still make off of him.

“Well, mate, that’s exactly what I did.” His agent tried this time, and as expected used a far gentler touch.

_“Killian, I’m not blowing smoke up your ass when I say that this book could be the book of the decade. It’s fantastic, but there’s no way it’s ever going to get the kind of accolades or attention it deserves without the right kind of press. It’s all an investment into the viability of this novel. Is it annoying? Yes, but its part of this business.”_

That was his point exactly though, this book wasn’t business to Killian. It was a means to make amends with the only person in his world who really even mattered.

“You all are the platform on which I get to tell the woman I love that I fucked up and will never do anything so bloody foolish again. I’m not going to do interviews and press about it, because it’s private. The world may know the baseline of our story, but that’s all they get. I’m not willing to give anything else.”

Killian would wager in that moment that the silence through the speakers of the phone was either the result of incredible stress, or harried rereading of the contract in question. Regardless, Killian had no more time left for this.

“Now let me make this perfectly clear – I can give you each five minutes every week. There is _nothing_ that you would ever need to run by me that would take up more time than that. Are we clear?” Both parties agreed that they were begrudgingly, and happily Killian ended the call, chucking his phone across the porch.

“You tell em’ brother.” The laughter in Liam’s voice was evident as Killian looked over his shoulder to where his brother stood by the gate. With ease, Liam unlatched the front portion and stepped onto the stone path, closing the space between them. Killian ran a hand through his hair, trying to somehow shake the lingering tension off his person.

“How long have you been there?” Killian asked and Liam smirked.

“Long enough to know you don’t give a shit about the money.” Perfect, so that meant he’d heard everything really. Without a word, Killian moved towards the porch swing and nodded towards it to Liam, who joined him in setting it just so. His brother waited until Killian secured the chains on both sides, effectively harnessing the swing into place before speaking again. “Have you talked to Emma about it?” 

“About the touring? No because I’ve no intention of going.”

“I meant about the book being published at all. You said it yourself, this is your story for Emma, but you’re daft if you think that not touring means it won’t be read the world over. They won’t just be talking about your writing or your characters this time. This is you and Emma, changed names or not.”

Killian clenched his jaw. It wasn’t that he was angry at Liam, but he was definitely ticked at the insinuation that he’d be doing anything to put Emma in the line of fire. Still, Liam had a point in a way.

“Despite what everyone thinks, no one really cares about the writer, and it’s not going to matter to anyone that it’s what really happened. If it does, what more is there to say than that I love her and she’s everything to me?” Liam’s face remained impassive despite Killian’s escalating emotions. Taking a deep breath, Killian supplemented. “Besides, all Emma has to do is tell me to stop and I will. I’ve been very careful about keeping her rights to the content safe and protected. Nothing and no one is going to hurt Emma again.”

“Okay then.” Killian wasn’t sure what he expected from his brother in that moment, but it wasn’t the wide grin and slap on the shoulder that came with the quick acceptance.

“Just like that this little inquisition is over?” Liam nodded.

“Aye. I only asked because I promised Elsa to. She has it in her head that all of this progress you and Emma have made might be undermined by the book. I told her she was worrying for nothing, but I’d rather ask you silly questions than see her unhappy.”

Despite the discomfort of the queries, Killian appreciated that Emma’s friends cared enough about her to look into it. Everyone who met Emma should be so inclined to facilitate her best interests. She deserved no less than that.

“They’re all on your side, you know,” Liam said amiably.

“Who?”

“Emma’s friends. They’re in your corner, and those are not allies to overlook.”

Killian smiled at that, musing about just how true that statement was. It was clear that all of these women had become even more important to Emma as time went on. They were her family as well as friends, and the approval of those people closest to her would go a long way. 

“Definitely not, and to be honest I’d appreciate all the help I can get. It might just kill me if after everything she turned away in the end.”

“To be frank, I think that’s about as likely as me waking up tomorrow and deciding to be an Icelandic reindeer herder.” Killian barked out a laugh.

“What?” Liam mumbled something about Elsa’s sister’s boyfriend studying reindeers for a living in Iceland, until meeting Anna and rejoining the real world. Needless to say, Liam was unimpressed with such a life, and the comment was a vote of confidence in Killian and Emma finding a happy ending. To show him how much, Liam remained on through the rest of the day, assisting Killian with some other odd jobs around the house that required more than one person. 

Soon enough, the edge that came from his phone call was but a distant blip in the history of his day. He knew it would all be made better if he could just wait a little longer, for he was seeing Emma again tonight, and hopefully every night hereafter.

………………….

“Nothing like the start of football season to push us past the summer lull!”

Emma nodded at Tiana’s words. They’d had a completely full day today, swamped with patients, most of whom were a part of the Storybrooke football team. Their ailments ranged from mild dehydration to sprains, but one boy had come in with the season’s first concussion, providing the sad reminder that this was a very dangerous sport for young boys to be playing. None of her other student athletes who made their way in for treatment were as prone to these impact injuries, but try convincing the masses that this might be a game better not played in high school.

“Did you get Mrs. Johnson that information on the best protective helmets? I know the schools don’t have the money to invest in them, but if anyone can get those funded for the kids, its her.”

Tiana nodded that she had, giving Emma a little relief. It might not eradicate the problem, but that extra padding would go a long way to helping alleviate the higher numbers of concussions she saw this time of year.

“She’s already got a slew of ideas. I’m sure they’ll be bake sales and raffle nights enough to get them in no time.”

Emma smiled at the thought. Storybrooke was a town that supported its neighbors, a place where people came together around common causes to make their town better. Because of that, they had an awful lot of fundraisers.

“Knock knock.” Emma and Tiana looked up to find Elsa, carrying in her hands a tray of coffees, and a box wrapped in the same style of every gift Emma received from Killian.

“Ooo I think I love that man,” Tiana said as she checked the cups. “Yup, he got the order right. Major brownie points. And look at this – _actual_ brownies!”

Emma grinned at Tiana’s reaction to Killian’s gesture. Over the past few weeks, he’d managed to supply them with a caffeine or sweet fix on their most harrowing days, as if he had the place under surveillance. Emma knew better though – her man was somewhat magically inclined. Tiana placed a brownie on a napkin, handing it to Emma along with her cocoa, and proceeded to run away with the rest of the baked goods.

“I take it this isn’t a one time thing,” Elsa teased.

“Not exactly. Though I’m surprised he sent you today.” Elsa gave a small smile that hinted at her being here for a reason.

“Actually, I volunteered. I’ve been meaning to talk to you about something.” Elsa took a seat across from Emma’s desk and handed her the gift from Killian. Emma accepted it, carefully placing it in her drawer for later.

“What’s up?” Elsa fidgeted a little.

“I just wanted to check in with you to make sure you’re really doing okay. A lot has happened in such a short time, I wanted you to know I’m here if you ever need to talk.”

“Thanks Elsa. It’s been kind of a whirlwind, but I don’t know, I feel like it’s all going to work out. Things are really good, better than they’ve been in a long time.” Elsa nodded, but she was still holding back. “Do you think I have a reason to be cautious?”

“No, not at all! I mean I know you missed him all these years, and I want you two to get back together. You make each other happy, and you deserve that Emma, you really do. I’ve just been thinking about the book. It’s one thing for him to write it for you, it’s sweet and considerate and honestly one of the most romantic things I’ve ever heard of, but…”

“But he’s a world renowned author and in a couple months this book is going to be on book shelves across the country and beyond.” Elsa waved her hand in agreement.

“Exactly! I just worry that it’ll be too much, that that kind of public scrutiny might not be the best place for you guys to see if this can be the happily ever after you’re both hoping it will be.” Emma blushed at the wording, knowing that was exactly what was happening. Emma was testing the waters with Killian in hopes that they could someday make a go of forever, but she needed to set the record straight.

“It doesn’t scare me that everyone will know our story. Reading it piece by piece over these past few weeks, it’s like… like the most intimate snapshot of who we were and what he thought, but it only feels that way because it’s about us. It’s not that different of a story from the one’s the rest of the world knows, so I don’t expect anyone to go gaga for us in particular. But I know that if a moment came when it got to be too much, Killian would handle it. He’d never let this come back to hurt me, not when he’s trying so hard to fix us.”

Saying the words out loud made something click inside Emma’s chest. This was the truth – she could trust Killian to protect her, and so by extension, she could trust him with her heart again. That was an amazing feeling, and she couldn’t keep the smile from her face. Her eyes shifted from Elsa to her desk sometime during her declaration, to a note he’d written her a few days before that simply read _‘You are everything, love.’_ Only a sniffle from her friend brought Emma’s attention back up to Elsa, who was full on tearing up.

“I’m sorry, it’s just that was so beautiful. I shouldn’t have doubted that this was the right way –,” Emma came around the desk and placed her hands on Elsa’s arms as the woman stood.

“No Elsa, it’s fine. You’re just watching out for me like a good friend. Besides, you pushed me to be honest with myself, so really I should be thanking you.” Elsa sniffled a bit more, grabbing a tissue from the desk.

“Okay, but I should warn you now that now that I’m really on board, there’s no shaking me, especially since if you two get married, that will technically make us sisters.” Emma hadn’t thought of that, but just the mention of marriage set butterflies soaring through her.

“I always wanted a sister,” she said softly, before composing herself again, “but still, _way_ too early to be talking weddings. Let’s just focus on getting _you_ married, okay?" 

Elsa nodded and said her goodbyes, leaving Emma to her own thoughts once more. It was impossible not to imagine the dream life Elsa alluded to, one with a big white wedding a groom who had her whole heart, and had since they were kids, but Emma had to try. She did her best to focus on her work and other things until six o’clock came once more, and then she returned to the pages of her incredible history, courtesy of Killian.

_……………………_

This was a bloody mistake _. That was the resounding thought pounding through my head as I stood on the sidelines watching the veteran team members lining up to eventually pummel each other to death._

_Maybe that was a bit extreme, but to a foreigner, it was hard to view American football as anything but the stopping and starting of huge bodies slamming into each other with the purpose of inflicting enough harm to throw you to the ground. No single element of this game appealed to me, in all honesty I was sick to my stomach just standing out here for tryouts, but it was out of my hands at this point. I looked over to where the cheerleaders were holding their tryouts across the football field in the back corner, and reminded myself why I was here. There, amongst the fray of girls trying out was Emma, looking skeptical but beautiful with her hair tied back and her running clothes on._

_I had absolutely no idea why she’d settled on cheerleading as a new potential hobby just before our sophomore year, but I did know that her green eyes lit up with the possibility when she spoke of it. She talked in that excited way that she always did when something intrigued her, and her hands flew about as if illustrating her point along with her words. I’d missed parts of her argument, focused as I was on her full lips, but I understood enough to know that she wanted this. If she was going to be on this field every afternoon, I needed then to find a way to do the same without seeming like a bloody creep. Football it was then._

_“Jones!” Coach Adam’s calling my name brought my attention back front, just in time to see him flinging a hard pass my way. It was just beyond my reach, but about to hit another student in the gut. Instinctively I moved to catch it easily, frustrated that the man had risked the other unaware kid to test my reflexes, but he just grinned at me. He’d been hoping I’d join the team since first day freshman year, but I’d opted to stick with boxing as I had in England at a gym nearby. My being here was somehow a victory in this man’s eyes. “I want to try you out at receiver.”_

_Great, so while my job wasn’t to pummel the others, it was to catch the ball and then pray to god I didn’t_ get _pummeled by another player. I winced as I pulled the helmet over my head, feeling bulky but still vulnerable and took my spot in the line up. The senior who currently held the position glared at me as he ran the play first, showing me what to do and then smiled triumphantly when he caught the ball. He celebrated with a stupid handshake with the quarterback, Arthur King, before muttering about my being a foreign bastard. Charming as the starting receiver was, he didn’t bother me nearly as much as his friend._

_“Try and give me something to work with, Jones.” Whether Arthur King knew it or not, I would have loved nothing more than to punch him in the face. Seriously the guy was terrible, walking around campus as if his last name and spot on the team made him royalty. One of his favorite pastimes was ranking girls based on their hotness level and then pursuing the one’s he deemed fit just to discard them like they were nothing. It had always bothered me but when I’d heard him make a comment about my Emma the first day of school this year, I’d nearly fucking lost my mind. Thinking about it now made me ball my fists up in anger._

_I guarded my emotions, not wanting him to see the boiling rage I felt, as I took my spot among the line up. When the play started I easily dodged the blockers and was wide open, making far better time and a better outcome than the starter had, but I didn’t care, not about the congratulations from the others trying out or the resentment from the veterans. I simply took my spot back on the sideline and looked out to make sure Emma was okay._

_“You should have tried out last year, you’d already have a spot on the team,” one of the freshman besides me answered. I just shrugged, not wanting to explain that I was only here at all because my best friend and the girl I was in love with had it in her head that we needed more after school activities for our college applications. It didn’t matter that we were sophomores and that college was three years away, once Emma set her mind to something it would happen._

_Emma’s enthusiasm and determination were endearing traits, and some of the reasons I loved her, but her presence on the squad would make her an easy target for Arthur’s attention or slander. I knew Emma could handle herself, but that didn’t mean I would ever let her walk into the lion’s den alone. I didn’t have the heart to tell her that’s what she was doing, but I’d try to see her through it all the same. As long as it made her happy, I’d grin and bear it._

_About an hour later coach allowed us a water break and I noticed the cheerleaders doing the same. Emma though had reached for her things on the bleachers, her bag swung over her shoulder as if she was leaving. I waved at her and she smiled, running down the steps to see me._

_“Everything alright, Swan?” She nodded and bit her lip, which told me that something had happened. “What is it?” I reached out to take her hand, not thinking the better of it until the spark of the contact between us shot through me._

_“It’s nothing, I just… I really hate cheerleading.” I exhaled a sigh of relief as I began to laugh. She did the same and though I heard the others getting ready to return to the field I lingered with her._

_“Thank Christ. Let’s get out of here.” Her eyes widened in surprise._

_“But I saw you out there. You’re really good, you don’t have to leave just because of me.” Pride pounded through my chest at her words. She’d noticed me, paid attention to me, and kept tabs on me as I’d done for her._

_“Trust me, Swan, you’ll be doing me a favor. I wasn’t cut out for this group.” She shook her head, finally realizing that we were still holding hands and squeezed tighter smiling at me._

_“Okay, let’s go.” I broke away from her to grab my things, facing the wrath of Coach Adams and more taunts from the team, one that particularly bothered me._

_“I’d leave for that ass too.” I turned so quickly to King, I should have gotten whiplash and I lowered my voice to that icy chill that comes with true anger._

_“You so much as look in her direction and you will regret it, King.” I saw the flash of fear in his eyes and reveled in it, glad I’d managed some level of intimidation. I meant every word I said and had no doubt that if it came to it, I would crush him in a fight, but that would be a last resort. I didn’t favor violence, but sometimes a man had it coming, and Arthur King was such a man._

_Without another word I grabbed my things and left, returning to Emma once more and heading back towards the school. We made our way out around the bleachers, where unsurprisingly a couple made out undeterred by the tryouts flanking them on all sides. What did surprise me was the culprits’ identities. David Nolan and Mary Margaret Blanchard were friends of ours who’d taken up together over the summer, but they were by no means the type to sneak off on school grounds like this. Then again, David had the girl he loved, and if I had such luck with Emma I’d likely be pulling her away to all corners of this town for a kiss._

_“Emma! Killian!” David said jovially, clearly far less embarrassed than his girl at being caught. You’d have thought he’d just won a marathon and I shook my head at him._

_“If this is what ‘debate club prep’ is code for, you should tell people. You might get more signups.” I bit back a laugh at Emma’s teasing and watched Mary Margaret’s blush deepen._

_“What happened to cheerleading?” She asked Emma._

_“And football?” Dave asked. Emma smiled up at me._

_“It wasn’t right for us.” I ignored Dave’s smirk, for he knew just how much Emma meant to me, having figured it out near immediately. Instead I focused on how Emma yet again had coupled us together, like we were a team. If that was all we ever had it would be enough for me._

_“Well I could have told you that,” Mary Margaret said, “Emma, why don’t you join debate with me? We need more people as smart as you, and it’ll be a great way for you to use that sarcastic wit for good.”_

_“Hey – I’m smart too!” Emma laughed hitting her hip against mine._

_“No one said you weren’t.”_

_“Not yet anyway. Come on, Killian. Let’s leave the answering of the world’s big questions to them, while we just kick a ball around for glory.” And there it was, the inevitable pitch to get me on the ‘soccer’ team. I’d heard it before, even been tempted once or twice to accept, but it would have cut into my afternoons too much. Now though, I could use something to fill the time while Emma was busy too._

_“Speaking of, why aren’t you at tryouts?” David shrugged._

_“Didn’t seem that important honestly, but they’ll forgive me if I claim it was all in pursuit of recruiting you.” The sad part was they would. I looked at Emma for her advice, but it was Mary Margaret who replied._

_“None of the debate meets or soccer games overlap, you know.” That made Emma smile._

_“Well then I guess you have to join. What other activities could I go out and cheer you on for?” That was it, I was sold with just the promise that she’d be there, and in the end she was. For every game I ever played, win, lose, or draw, Emma was there, pushing me to do better. I was at all her debate meets too, but she didn’t need me there. She was destined to shine all on her own._

………………….

Running her hands through Killian’s hair, pulling him closer for another kiss, Emma couldn’t believe they were doing this, making out like teenagers again under the damn bleachers. As soon as she’d finished reading his pages, she texted him, claiming she wanted to go for a walk, all with the intention of ending up back here. Emma wanted to see the place where all these memories happened, and though some things had changed, so much had stayed the same.

It was one of the things that made this book so wonderful in Emma’s eyes. Only people from Storybrooke could ever know Emma and Killian’s story really. Everyone else would just imagine what it must be like, would make their own faces and places and details of how the story went, but this was the truth. These places were a part of them because they were the setting of their history, so even if millions of people read it, there were still parts no one could truly ever know. It was a profession of love both detailed and somehow reserved, that Emma could do nothing but marvel at.

Killian’s words today also captured a moment Emma had completely forgotten about, because where he’d noticed their lack of direction Emma never felt it. Yes, she had sometimes gotten it in her head to try new things, to change it up, but it was never needed, just another way to have a small adventure with Killian by her side. Killian was always there to keep her going, and it didn’t matter what she did, cheerleading or debate or drama or what have you. She just remembered him being there for her each and every step of the way.

Emma also remembered wanting him in high school too. Seeing Mary Margaret and David together had always been bitter sweet. They had what she wanted, but she wanted it with her best friend and was scared that saying that to him would change things between them. His written words now told her he felt the same, like the risk wasn’t worth losing her and Emma was just thankful that they had taken the plunge, and that in the end they were taking another now. He’d written her a book – an actual book – that was still so hard to imagine, but more than that he was making a new story for them. It traced their past while scoping out a better future, one hopefully filled with kisses as hot as this.

“If I had nickel for every time I dreamed of us ending up here, love.” Killian said as he pulled back for a moment while Emma tried to catch her breath.

“Well now you have me. So what are you going to do about it?” The fire in his eyes promised thorough, maddening pleasure and his lips crashed down on hers again. Her whole body was ablaze with lust as she arched closer, not wanting any space between them. Grinding against him, Emma smiled when he pulled back to groan.

“For such a smart girl, you seem to be forgetting that we are on school property. They would throw us both in jail if I made good on some of those fantasies.” It was on the tip of Emma’s tongue to say to hell with it, but an unexpected voice behind them made her jump instead.

“They would indeed.”

Seeing that the person who’d found them was David, Emma couldn’t hold back her laughter. Yes he was a sheriff’s deputy, and yes he could technically get them in trouble, but it was just too perfect after today’s stroll down memory lane. Emma tried to muffle her giggling by burying her face in Killian’s chest, feeling his own rumble of amusement as she did.

“Evening Officer Nolan.” For some reason that only made Emma laugh harder.

“Look, I know you two are just making up for lost time, but your twenty-eight, not eighteen, and I gotta tell you, it’s a little weird that you don’t have a better place to do this.” Now Emma pulled away and shot David a look.

“Says the man who caused a scene at _Gretta’s Groceries_ last year for kissing his wife into a display of oranges.” Killian’s jaw went slack.

“Mate, you didn’t!” David huffed, going a little red.

“This is not about me!”

“Maybe it should be though. Sounds like a serious loss of property on Gretta’s account.” Emma shoved at Killian playfully and turned back to David.

“If we leave now, I trust you’ll spare us the ticket and any more lecturing.” David considered Emma’s words for a moment and nodded.

“As long as you kids stay out of trouble.” 

“David, we’re the same age.”

“So act that way!” With that, David stepped back into his cruiser and took off, leaving Emma and Killian alone once more.

“I’m not sure if it’s possible to rein this in love. I have a sneaking suspicion that my feelings for you will always make me feel like a teenager.” He took her hand in his, interlacing their fingers and making her feel somehow more complete with the simple gesture.

“He had a point though,” Killian raised a brow.

“Did he now?” Emma nodded.

“I _can_ think of better places for continuing this than under some old metal bleachers.”

“Is that right?” He asked, licking his lips and sending Emma’s tummy fluttering.

“Take me home, Killian.” And so he did, filling her night with more teenage like endeavors and a whole lot of happy.

**_Post-Note: The next few chapters will have some bigger moments and steps forward in Emma and Killian’s relationship, but I loved the idea of my CS babies getting to relive some high school rights of passage they missed out on. Plus, Elsa and Liam interfering but all in the hopes of things working out is one of my favorite dynamics to write, so I was happy to slip that in there as well. Hope you guys enjoyed, and let me know what you thought! Have a lovely rest of your weekend and thanks for reading!_ **


	5. Chapter 5

**_A/N: This past week has flown by, and boy am I glad it has because it meant another chance to write a chapter for this fic! I love exploring this dynamic and this style of writing where I also get to include Killian’s story. I hope that you all enjoy this installment, which brings Killian talking to Emma’s friends, another flashback, and Emma and Killian protecting and defending each other. Expect lots of cuteness and fluff forever, and let me know what you think!_ **

Since arriving back in Storybrooke nearly a month earlier, Killian faced every day with determination to make amends and find his way back to the life he wanted with Emma. Nothing would keep him from showering his Swan with the proof that he could be trusted, and that with him, her heart was safe. It was slow work in many ways, but every day he took strides in the right direction. In one area, though, Killian remained relatively in the dark, and that was Emma’s past romantic history.

It caused a sinking feeling in Killian’s gut every time he thought about it, but it was a situation of his own making. Had he not been so stupid and blinded by perceived grief, he and Emma would have been together now for years and neither of them would have other suitors in their past. Nevertheless, this was their reality, and Killian now felt ready to know the whole truth. To get it, he scoped out a source many people often overlooked, but who he trusted would be impartial and thorough in her estimations.

“Killian, this is a surprise!” Belle French said from behind the desk of the small bookstore she ran in town, as she offered him a genuine smile. “What brings you here today?”

“Research,” Killian replied and he could see his old friend’s eyes light up at the words. Seemed Belle was just as invested in books as she’d always been, which was good considering her line of work.

“For a new novel?” Killian shook his head at the question.

“For a new life. I need you to tell it to me straight, Belle. If I have any chance of winning Emma over again, I need all the facts. Who might pose a conflict moving forward?” Belle’s eyes widened at the inquiry.

“Are you asking me to give you Emma’s dating history? Because girl code stipulates that would be a very gray area.” Killian shook his head. 

“Not dating, I know that there hasn’t been anything serious aside from the on again off again bloke she met in med school.” Belle nodded, clearly at ease that Killian already knew the biggest part. “I just need to know who has shown any interest, maybe some of the men who asked her out and she let down easy, or the ones who would ask if they could.” 

“Emma wouldn’t answer that for you?” 

“I didn’t even bother to ask. Emma still has no sense of the pull she has over everyone. If a man hadn’t been very blunt, she might just think him friendly.” Belle bit back a smile and nodded, pulling a cart of books to organize from behind the desk. She shifted them to Killian who in turn gave her a curious look and Belle filled him in on her thoughts on the matter.

“You’re looking for classified intel, so I propose a trade. You help me get these stacked into place, and I’ll tell you everything you want to know.” A hearty laugh made it’s way from Killian’s chest, filling the room.

“Fair enough.” In the end the task at hand took less than twenty minutes, but the information he gained was well worth the effort. As expected, Emma had a fair number of admirers, but according to Belle, none of them stood out as being of any interest for Emma. In fact, his love had never shown real enthusiasm for anyone in town since him. 

“She never let go of you, you know.” Killian’s heart clutched at the statement, but he needed to know more. Belle, meanwhile led him to a final section of the store, and pulled out a copy of his first book. “Every time a new edition comes out she buys it. She has more copies of your books in her house than I have in the store.”

A beat passed in which Killian couldn’t fathom a response. He didn’t understand such faithfulness despite everything, and yet why would he expect anything else from Emma? She’d always supported him and his writing, remaining his biggest cheerleader at every turn. Emma even convinced him to submit his first story for publication, and it was only through her influence that he’d gotten that first shot. Her faith in him drove him to do better back then, but even when they’d been apart, he thought of her, wondering if she’d read his books, and if she liked them. Now he knew, and the impact it had on his heart was substantial.

“I am going to make this up to her, Belle, I swear it.” Belle smiled and patted Killian’s arm.

“You already are. Don’t think we all don’t know. Between the book and all the dates we’ve heard about, no one can deny that you’re trying. She’ll get there, probably sooner than even she thinks.” Hearing such validation from Belle of all people gave Killian a new level of hopefulness, but soon the aura of calm evaporated, for Ruby returned from her lunch break and spotted him.

“I see you finally made your way in here. Took you long enough, Jones.” Killian raised a brow and Ruby rolled her eyes. “He asked about her exes right?” Belle nodded and pulled out a five-dollar bill slipping it to Ruby. Killian’s eyes grew bigger at the exchange.

“But how-,”

“It was just a matter of time. No sensible guy goes for the girl without knowing her history. Then again, you bought a house without so much as a text in ten years, so there was still a chance you may shake things up.” Killian scratched behind his ear, embarrassed but willing to handle what Emma’s friends dished out. He deserved it. 

“Is that all you’ve taken bets on?” Belle and Ruby shook their heads at the same time.

“There’s also a pool for engagement, move-in and wedding town wide.” _Bloody hell!_

“So we’re a hot topic of conversation then.” Both women nodded.

“Oh yeah. Anyone who matters is team happily ever after, but you know there are always a few miserable assholes who oppose other people finding any kind of joy.” Killian could well believe it. The time he’d spent here in his youth introduced him to such characters, who couldn’t find their own contentment without everyone else hurting. Interestingly enough, that was actually a part of his gift to Emma today, a memory about such people and how they would never have the strength to pull Emma and him apart.

“None of it has made its way to Emma, I don’t think,” Belle added lightly. That was a relief at least. Killian only hoped that none of it ever would. Some things, like childish antics and cruel words for the sake of putting others down, were better left in the past and never lived through again. If they did come though, he knew beyond a shadow of a doubt that he would fend it away for her.

“Oh hell no! We’ve done a pretty good job of tamping that down. No one messes with Emma.” Killian smiled at that, happy again that Emma had allies and friends who would be there no matter what. While he’d been in California feeling isolated from real connection Emma had been surrounded by people who cared for her. He only hoped she’d let him stay on as one of those people from now on too.

_Gods, do I hope she really lets me in,_ he thought as he headed back into the Storybrooke afternoon once more, off to ensure that he did everything in his power to achieve just that.

……………..

Emma very rarely regretted not living in a larger city. Both professionally and personally, she felt more grounded and at peace in her tiny hometown, but every once in a while, something happened that threw her happy sort of cycle out of whack, and made her question living in a place this closed off from the bigger happenings of the world.

Today’s flirtation with Storybrooke discomfort came at the hands of a group of women Emma knew rather well. They were the girls who’d considered themselves popular in high school, and all stayed in town, marrying dimwitted has-been jocks while still thinking they were somehow above everyone else. Their leader, Kathryn Parker, was a sore reminder for Emma of more insecure days, and though she rarely deigned to eat at Granny’s citing how terrible it was to eat diner food regularly, Kathryn lowered herself for it today. She currently held court with her little posse of gossiping mean girls in a far booth. That didn’t mean Emma couldn’t hear everything she said, for Kathryn projected herself wherever she went, subconsciously convinced people wanted to hear her every thought.

“I just don’t understand why he would ever put that kind of effort in. He has _money_ now, and whatever his issues might have been in high school, he can do better than the down home doctor he left all those years ago.”

Kathryn’s voice rang through the entire diner and Emma’s fists balled up while a trickle of unease moved through her. How dare this woman think she could speculate about Emma and Killian! She didn’t know them at all, but here she was, analyzing the idea of them trying to be together. It infuriated Emma but also poked at some lingering worries. Why was Killian so adamantly seeking to make amends? Couldn’t he have had a million chances to move on from her in his glamorous new life?

“And she’s giving him such a hard time. I heard from Misty at the post office that she wouldn’t even say they’re together to other people. Can you imagine having a guy like that and playing hard to get?! It’s not like she has a ton of people trying for her, and she’s getting older, what the hell is she waiting for?” Emma rolled her eyes at that last part, because that was beside the point. But these women poked out some layer of truth – technically Emma and Killian weren’t _officially_ back together. Emma was holding back a little bit still, and while she felt justified to do so, she wondered if it was necessary. She trusted Killian and she knew she wanted him long-term. Why couldn’t she just say that?

Emma remained caught up in these internal debates until Granny returned with her order.

“Small town living is not for the fair of heart.” Granny’s words from behind the counter made Emma smile in spite of herself, her fists loosening slightly. “Nothing that they say has any bearing on you, Emma. Remember that.” Emma nodded, settling the bill before walking back outside and into the breezy September day. She was lost in thought about everything when she bumped into someone and looked up to see it was Killian.

“Emma, love, you should be a bit more careful. I’d hate to see you hurt.” The way he said her name and expressed his subsequent concern was soft and filled with love, and she closed her eyes for a minute to try and take in the calm that came when he was around, but as she did his arms came around her. “Emma, what’s wrong?” 

“It’s nothing,” Emma said shaking her head, but she bit her bottom lip. She didn’t like lying to him, but she knew this was silly. They were all adults, so she should be passed any insecurity from childhood by now.

“It’s not nothing. I can see in your eyes something’s happened. Let me help.” Emma looked up at Killian and saw how desperately he wanted to make it better and just that alone alleviated most of her lingering stress.

“What are we doing?” Killian’s eyes grew wider at the question. “I mean why are you still here fighting so hard? Why haven’t you found someone else?” Killian’s hold around her tightened.

“There’s never going to be another person who I could love as much as you Emma. Never.” Emma’s heart fluttered at his mention of love. She could feel a tightening in her throat, and all she wanted to do was say it back, but she held the words in all the same.

“What would make you think otherwise? Have I not been clear since my return that everything I do, I do for you?” Emma shook her head, because he constantly made her feel that way. This wasn’t a problem with him, but with her.

“You have, I was just at Granny’s and I heard some people talking and… you remember Kathryn Parker? Well even though I know she’s terrible and is just a miserable person in general, she still had a good point. You could have anyone you wanted, but you’re still here.” Killian’s whole body stiffened and he pulled back, grabbing her hand and leading Emma into to the diner once more.

“Killian, what are you doing?” He looked at her with determination in his eyes, and a level of frustration she hadn’t seen from him in years. It wasn’t aimed at her, it never was in all their years as friends, but Emma knew he was serious as they walked back into Granny’s. At the front of the diner where she’d just picked up her food, he kissed her on the cheek and dropped her hand.

“Stay here, love.” Emma watched him approach Kathryn’s table. The woman’s eyes grew wide and Emma observed Kathryn take on a flirtatious demeanor with Killian. Now Emma was the one angry but Killian remedied that quickly enough.

“Killian Jones, _so_ good to see you.” Killian huffed out an angry breath, but when he spoke, his tone wasn’t raised, just hardened with reined in distaste. Emma could still hear every word from her spot in front.

“I hear you’ve been questioning my life and my choices. I see you’ve all clearly found no new hobbies in my absence.” All four women’s jaws dropped. “I thought it best to get something straight with all of you: It is none of your damn business what happens between me and Emma Swan. Your opinion is not only inconsequential, but also abhorrent to me. And just to clarify, I _love_ her because she is the best woman alive and if was solely up to me, she would be mine permanently. Have I made myself clear?” All of the women nodded, and without another word, Killian returned to Emma.

“You didn’t have to do that,” Emma said quietly as he cupped her cheek with a soft caress.

“But I did, love.” Just as they were about to leave, Granny came over with a large box and handed it to Killian who was rather thrown off by the gesture.

“I made a personal promise to myself years ago that anyone who told those catty women off would get a pie on me, and lucky for you two I have one chocolate cream left. That was a joint favorite if I remember correctly.” Killian nodded and thanked Granny for the gift before bringing Emma back outside.

“Well at least we got a pie out of the deal,” Emma joked, but it fell flat as Killian put his pie and her now lukewarm bag of lunch on a table outside and brought her closer to him.

“I need to make sure that we’re okay, love.” Emma replied immediately.

“We are. We were always going to be, but now how could I deny a knight in shining armor who barrels into diners to defend my honor?” Killian ran a hand through his hair, and she could see the faintest blush touch his cheeks.

“I didn’t say what I said for any reason other than to protect you love. Now I have the chance to rectify everything I messed up and I’ll be damned if I let Kathryn Parker of all people come between us.”

“She won’t,” Emma whispered. “I’m sorry.”

“You don’t need to be sorry, Emma. It’s more than natural for you to hesitate. I’m the one who broke this the first time, and I’ve a ways to go to fix it.” Emma pulled him down for a kiss, not giving a damn that they were still in the middle of town in broad daylight. When she pulled back she rested her forehead against his.

“You might be closer than you think.” Killian’s grin ticked up to one side in the way it did when he was really, genuinely happy, and his hand came to take hers.

“May I walk you back to work, love?” She nodded and they made their way back through the streets of this little hamlet until they were once again at her office door. Killian gave her another kiss, informing her that her gift for the day was already inside before making his goodbyes.

Emma quickly made her way inside and to her desk, finding the box that waited for her. Hugging the pages to her chest, Emma knew there would be no waiting for the rest of the day to pass to delve into these. She missed Killian already, and would take him in any form she could.

…………… 

_Surely every boy in love sees the girl in his heart through a lens of perfection. I was no different, and yet at no point did my admiration for Emma seem unjustified. Time only further proved her goodness, and at every turn Emma managed to make not only my life better, but the lives of the people around her better too. She never turned away a person in need, and would never dream of belittling someone based on their number of friends or claims to ‘coolness’. If anything, Emma seemed to prefer the misfits over the conventionally popular._

_There wasn’t a person in Storybrooke High School Emma wouldn’t befriend if given the chance, and for that reason she had many people in her corner, but her desire to include everyone, lovely and benevolent as it was, left her vulnerable to the unoriginal but ever painful tactics of bullies. Their degradations came from jealousy and self-preservation, for no one could be popular if we all coexisted in peace, but Emma bore it all outwardly with nothing but grace. She didn’t think I noticed how much the mean words hurt, but I saw, and it was slowly tearing me apart._

_I never meant to become a hardship for Emma myself, but in the middle of our junior year I managed to do just that. It was like something inside me snapped and suddenly the complacency I felt for nearly three years evaporated, leaving a strong sense of injustice in its wake. Everything about the high school hierarchy put me on edge, and that only increased the day I found Emma tearing up after school. She wouldn’t tell me what was wrong, and as much as I wanted to push I couldn’t bring myself to hurt her more by doing it, but I watched out closely for any signs of more trouble. I found it less than a week later._

_“I heard they found her on the side of a highway. You really have to hate a kid to do that. They didn’t even bother bringing her to the hospital.” I froze in the doorway of the classroom I’d been working in after school when I heard the words. There was no way the football player speaking wasn’t talking about Emma, and my hands balled into fists where I stood._

_It took Emma a full year to open up to me about her birth parents, and the time she’d been in the foster system before finding permanent placement with her adoptive parents in Storybrooke a few years before I came to town. She loved Mr. and Mrs. Swan as if they were her real parents, but to start life with such an act of abandonment left its mark on her. I truly believed those years alone without anyone were the reason for her constant compassion to everyone. For people to use that as fodder for gossip was the most vile, cruel thing they could do to my sweet Swan._

_“Must have realized what a freak she was even then. I saw her willingly talking to Anton the other day. You got to be messed up in the head to seek out that weirdo.” At that moment, the kid in question rounded the corner of the hallway, paying attention to the plant he held in his terrarium more than his surroundings. Anton was a giant compared to the rest of the school, but he was also the most passive kid I had ever met. Like Emma, Anton’s kindness was seen as a weakness that was used against him. So when I watched the two seniors notice Anton, only to slap the glass enclosed plant out of his hand so it smashed to the ground and scattered everywhere, I lost it._

_I could only recall what happened next as a series of images that included me losing any shred of control I had and beating both idiots to a pulp. I got caught of course, and when I did there was hell to pay, a full week’s suspension, and the grounding of a lifetime from Liam, but it was worth it. Not only had I shut those bastards up, but I’d kept the talk away from Emma, or at least I thought I had. When I returned to school though, I found being my friend after my outburst only brought more heat to the girl I loved._

_“Maybe you should just sit with everyone else without me today, Swan.” I said to her that first lunch back in the cafeteria, but Emma shook her head._

_“You’re not getting rid of me, Killian. Anton told me what you did.” My heart pounded in my chest, until she clarified. “You stood up for him, and in my book, that makes you a hero.” Emma’s hand came to rest on my arm as we took our seats, soon joined by Mary Margaret and David and all our usual friends. No one asked about the fight, which I appreciated, but that didn’t mean I got through lunch free from any mention of it._

_“Killian Jones should be in juvie for what he did to Chad and Brent! My_ boyfriend _can hardly walk and it’s been a week. Clearly he’s unhinged, and a danger to the rest of us.” We all heard the words Kathryn Parker said, but while I stayed impassive, Emma tensed right up._

_“Emma, it’s okay.”_

_“No it’s not.” Before I could stop her, Emma marched over to Kathryn and got her attention._

_“Can I help you?” Kathryn asked dismissively._

_“Yeah actually you can. You can shut your damn mouth.” You could have heard a pin drop in that cafeteria._

_“Who the hell do you think you are?” Kathryn asked, standing to try and intimidate, but Emma held her ground._

_“I’m Killian’s best friend.” Kathryn scoffed._

_“Well it makes sense, you’re both clearly troubled.” I moved to go defend her, but David held me back in place just as Mary Margaret, Ruby, and Belle hopped up from our table to stand behind Emma. Kathryn started a bit at the added backup._

_“Wanna say that again, Parker?” Ruby asked, hands on her hip. “Because I’ll show you some trouble if you’re looking for it.” Kathryn flinched at the threat thanks to Ruby’s reputation as a badass unafraid of school consequences, but quickly covered it up, insisting that none of them were worth her time. Confident they’d shut her up, the girls turned back to join us, and soon enough Emma was with me again._

_“You didn’t have to do that, love.”_

_“Actually I did.” Emma looked at me with seriousness in her emerald eyes. “No matter what happens, you’ll always have me Killian. You know that, right?”_

_“We’ll have each other.” I clarified and she smiled, setting everything in my world right with just one look._

_“Pinky promise?” She said, extending her little finger to me as she had since we first met. With anyone else it would have felt ridiculous, but it meant something to Emma and so it meant something to me. I returned the gesture gladly._

_“Pinky promise.” Little did she know then that she would have me, always and forever, no matter what may come our way._

……………..

Emma must have reread the chapter three times before finally letting go of the pages in her hand and returning to her surroundings. She hadn’t thought about Killian’s suspension or defending him like that in years, and to see it all again but from another side shook her to her core. The talk about her birth parents mostly died out after the fight, but she hadn’t realized it, focused as she was on Killian. He never said anything, and it was that selflessness that made this chapter one of her favorites so far. He didn’t defend her for something in return, he just wanted her to be happy and to be herself, and he wanted to do whatever he could to keep her there.

Emma also couldn’t believe how timely these memories were. The mirroring of their lives then and now couldn’t be overlooked, and neither could their shared instinct to protect each other. In so many ways an eternity had passed since those days, but clearly none of them would ever be truly free of high school. All Emma needed to do to see that was look at her interaction with Kathryn today for proof.

The way Killian wrote these chapters made Emma feel sixteen all over again. He transported her back to those days and not only reminded her of big moments, but gave her more insight into what was behind them. Emma wished she could give Killian something like this book in return, but she lacked the same sense of command over her words that he had. She’d never be able to articulate all that he meant to her then and now, but she did have something she could give him, and despite the fact that she had hours left in the workday, she needed to give it to him now.

“Ti – there’s nothing pressing on the docket right?” Tiana shook her head from behind her desk. 

“Just a couple of check-ups. Nothing we can’t reschedule.” Emma smiled.

“Good. Can you do that for me? I’ve got somewhere I need to be.” Tiana grinned widely while Emma grabbed her things from her office. As Emma made her way out the door she heard he friend call out.

“Go get him girl!” That was definitely the plan.

It only took a couple of minutes for Emma to navigate from the office back to his house, but it felt too long. With each step, her heart pounded louder in her chest with the knowledge of what she was about to do. When she finally made her way to his home, she saw Killian sitting on the front steps, looking through a bundle of pages in front of him.

“You have a swing like that and still you choose to sit on the stairs?” He looked up at her voice with that happy smile that he only ever saved for her. 

“It isn’t the same when you’re not there, love.” Emma smiled as she came through the gate and made her way to stand before him.

“I’m here now.” Killian grinned and brought her up the remaining stairs to the swing in question. He wrapped his arms around her with a natural ease and she melted into him. 

“What do I owe this unexpected pleasure to, love?” His breath was warm as it brushed across her cheek and Emma shivered a bit from their closeness. 

“I realized I have something to tell you.” Emma knew he could probably feel her shaking, from the excitement and bit of fear of what she was about to say.

“You can tell me anything.” She turned and looked at him, sensing that she needed to see his reaction to this first hand.

“I love you too. And I want this, all of it.” Her confession prompted Killian to turn her around in his embrace and pull her close, his lips crashing down to hers and sealing her words with a kiss so passionate it left Emma feeling dizzy. Her fingers held him tight too, and she realized that as demanding and hungry as he was, she was just as far gone.

“I’m only ever going to want you, love. I don’t want to overwhelm you. I’ve been trying to give you some time -,” Emma kissed him lightly, interrupting the thought.

“I don’t want any more time. I just want you.” Killian’s hands continued to run along her body, leaving a trail of spiked heat in their wake.

“You have me, love, every part of me. You are my dream Emma, just you. I don’t need anything else. None of it matters.” Emma knew he was telling the truth, there was no doubt in her mind, but now she just wanted to know everything and to hear more. Maybe then the truth could heal the rest of her frayed emotions and leave her doubt in the past once and for all.

“How do you know?” Killian’s features softened.

“Everything always comes back to you - everything revolves around Emma in my world. I can’t think of anything but you. You’re everything I see, I feel, I breathe. Every plan I make is for the two of us together and it has been since the second I realized how wrong I’d been by leaving. _You_ are a part of me, Swan, the best part. I can’t exist without you.” Emma’s eyes cast downward, because he had lived without her, but he tilted her face up to look at him before she could evade him for too long.

“My life back in California was a half-one. From the outside it probably looked desirable, but I was hollow without you.” Tears gathered in Emma’s eyes streaming down her cheeks and he wiped them away.

“It was like that here too. I missed you. I don’t want to miss you anymore.”

“You don’t ever have to again. I’m not leaving, not without you.” Emma smiled.

“Pinky promise?” She asked, and Killian smiled in return.

“I think we can do better than that love.” He kissed her again, and then broke away, just to drop kisses all over her face and jaw and neck. When she finally pushed him back and reminded him that they were out in the open he growled, but drew away, bringing her back to lay against his chest. 

They spent the rest of the day together, talking of everything and nothing all at once. Eventually they moved from the swing so Killian could show her more of what he’d done with the house, and though neither of them said it aloud, Emma knew all of this was for her. He knew her so well, understood her tastes and her wants maybe even better than she understood herself, and this house was representation of that. Someday, maybe not tomorrow, but someday, Emma would move in here with Killian and this would be their home together, and that made her heart sing out a happy song.

As the rest of the afternoon wore on and turned to night, Emma felt lighter than air. She was reborn in her commitment to Killian and from now on, she wanted everyone to know that they were together, and that she was willing to fight for Killian and her to make it this time too. That little bit of acceptance went so far to getting the happiness with him that she always wanted, and Emma knew, that whatever came next, she’d be ready, as long as she had Killian beside her.

**_Post-Note: So we finally made it – Emma has admitted to Killian that she still loves him, and while there is still a substantial amount of story to tell, and more milestones to get to, this felt like a big one. I also wanted to explore a theme that I’ve set up so far in the story, and that is how Emma is different from everyone else. Killian’s chapters have made a number of references to her seeing the world differently, so I felt it was important to not only give some context as to why, but also to show that not everyone saw those differences as beautifully as Killian did. Despite that high school pushback though, Emma doesn’t change for other people, and Killian hasn’t changed his want to protect that part of Emma that makes her special. As you can imagine, writing that put me into a hot bed of feels, and I will now spend the rest of the evening trying to come to terms with it. Hope you all enjoyed and thanks for reading!_ **


	6. Chapter 6

**_A/N: This chapter brings us to the reunion I’ve been hinting about since the first chapter and to our M rating, because I have decided to dive head first into cuteness and fluff. Every single story I’m writing right now is giving me too many emotions, so why not just pour all of the excess feels back into these chapters? Seems like a good idea to me. Anyway, I hope you all enjoy and happy Sunday!_ **

“So, you guys are like, _together_?” Emma strained so hard not to roll her eyes, but with each question like this her will to preserve people’s feelings grew weaker and weaker.

At least twenty people had asked her and Killian this exact same question since they’d walked into Storybrooke High School tonight, and that was a conservative guess. Some askers had been gracious enough to pretend that they had interests in something else before getting to that question, but others were blunt and to the point. Not that Emma could really blame them. They already knew what Emma was doing with her life because they saw her all the time. Killian though was apparently still a hot commodity despite his being here for a few months himself. And the two of them together…well that was either the most unbelievable thing or a long foretold destiny that these random former classmates had dreamed up for them depending on who you asked.

“We are, yes.” Killian said, his arm slung around the back of Emma’s chair, while his other hand held hers under the table. They’d managed to grab a seat about ten minutes in, but despite their table being full, people were flocking to them. It made Emma’s stomach hurt to get all of this attention, but at least she had Killian. This was white knight level rescuing as far as Emma was concerned, because she had no interest in being this on display for people. If she hadn’t promised Mary Margaret they’d be here, she would beg Killian to take her home right now.

“That’s fantastic! I think I hear wedding bells, and it’s been too long since we had a town wedding!” Emma nearly choked on her drink. God did people have no sense of boundaries anymore?! As if someone had put out the bat signal, more people started to crowd around.

“You know I’ve recently been getting into wedding planning – well it’s mostly just a collection of Pinterest aesthetics but -,” Standing up suddenly, Killian handled the barrage of inappropriate public thoughts with a smile and more charm than Emma ever could have mustered. 

“We appreciate all the support, ladies, but if you’ll excuse us.” Killian reached for Emma’s hand, pulling her from the table and that was it. He had no real excuse for their leaving, but no one resented it and now Emma was free, or at least as free as she could be while still remaining in the high school gymnasium.

In truth, their location was still weirding Emma out a bit. She had memories in here from a lifetime ago that she’d been wading through for months thanks to Killian, but now she was making a new memory here. It felt so strange, and yet it might have been kind of nice, if they weren’t surrounded by people with ridiculous questions like these.

Killian’s hand pressed on the small of her back leading her through the space, and he was still close enough for her to feel his warmth despite the chill in the room. When he leaned down to whisper in her ear, she felt the tickle of his breath and was surrounded by that smell that was so typically Killian. Leave it to him to affect her like this mere seconds after she’d been clammed up and hostile from a class-wide interrogation.

“I think we’ve both earned another drink at this point, love.” Emma grinned, nodding quickly. With his usual charm, and a bit of straight up rebellion, Killian convinced the bartender to let him behind the station to make their drinks for himself. The ease with which he got his way had Emma smiling, but when he came back with rum, Emma couldn’t hold back the laughter anymore.

“Well this is… an interesting choice,” Emma said, eying the glass before her with amusement. That only compounded when she watched Killian get a little flustered and scratch behind his ear in that way he always did when feeling a bit bashful.

“It was the first drink either of us ever had. I thought that fitting for tonight.” Emma took his hand in hers, twining their fingers together, and smiling up at him. They’d been sixteen and found the bottle in a locked cabinet of Liam’s. She’d thought it was terrible and they’d quickly decided that getting drunk would never be in the cards for them if high school parties ever came along in their social calendar. The taste had grown on her a little bit as the years went on, but she hadn’t indulged in a long time.

“You know you don’t have to be so incredibly thoughtful all the time, Killian.” He unlinked their hands just to wrap his arm around her, pulling her closer to him.

“But I do, love. It’s my natural state of living when it comes to you.” Emma felt a happy little zing of pleasure at the words and raised her glass slightly.

“So what do we drink to?” His grin was back in a second, as he seemed to consider what their best option would be.

“To everything still to come. This night is about the past, but I would toast to our future, together.” Emma kissed him, taking him by surprise and then pulling back before he could deepen the kiss. She could see the surprise and undertones of hunger in his shining blue eyes. “I’m not sure that’s how a toast works traditionally, Swan, but I like your way of thinking.”

“Sometimes you just have to go for what you want, and I wanted you.” His brow raised at that.

“Wanted?” Emma faked a sigh.

“ _Want_. I want you. Always have, always will.” Killian put his glass down on the table beside them, quickly doing the same with Emma’s and pulled her to him for another kiss.

“Forget the bloody rum, love. I think we should stick with your plan.” But just as he was about to give them both the pleasure of another tantalizing kiss, they were interrupted again, this time by David.

“Okay don’t hate me, but my wife has insisted on pictures, and the soccer team is up.” Emma could feel Killian’s growl from his chest, the vibration simultaneously riling her up further and giving her a sense of calm. He wanted her just as much as she wanted him, and his hands tightened their hold on her, keeping her in place against him before he leaned forward in defeat.

“It would appear I’m needed elsewhere, love.” Emma laughed.

“It’ll all be over before you know it, and then we can revisit this conversation.” Killian grinned, pressing a quick kiss to her forehead before following David.”

“That man is crazy over you,” Emma turned to see Ruby beside her and grinned. How could she not, when all she wanted was for him to love her as much as she loved him?

“Oh Emma, just the person I wanted to talk to!” Emma almost groaned at the interruption by yet another classmate but Ruby grabbed her hand quickly and whispered. 

“Pretend you just got a phone call. I’ll make an excuse.” There were no words for how grateful Emma was in that moment for her friend and she did just that, successfully evading another posse of women looking for details on what it was like to love Killian Jones.

Emma slipped into the hallway, feeling a weight lift as she put more and more distance between herself and the masses of people in there who didn’t actually matter. Killian, for his part, was making this a far more bearable night than it might have been otherwise, but she couldn’t expect to take up all his time and so she’d brought a back up plan.

Opening her clutch, Emma pulled the last two pages of the chapter that Killian gifted her today, which she’d folded up and saved in case she needed them tonight. It was the last snippet of a chapter all about their senior prom, and right when things were getting good, she’d cut herself off, a sense of foreboding telling her she might need some assistance getting through this reunion. Looking around once more to make sure that no one was out here, Emma delved into the chapter, losing herself in his words.

………………

_“Just ask her to dance, man. She came here with you, there’s no way she’s gonna say no. Besides I thought this was your night to finally make the move.” David’s words rang in my ears, making a lot of rational sense, but my mind couldn’t process it with my heart beating this wildly. I felt so incredibly out of my element, hovering by Emma like a fool when all I wanted to do was exactly as David had suggested._

_“What if it muddles everything up? What if I put myself out there and she doesn’t feel the same? I could be ruining the best thing in my life just for the chance of something better.” David looked at me blankly._

_“You’ve been wrestling with the same questions since I met you. At some point you just have to man up and tell her, but start with something easy. A dance will not make or break your friendship.”_

_Okay, so maybe Dave had a point, and the thought of holding Emma in my arms as we swayed to the music was one I’d been thinking of for months. I just couldn’t seem to get any coherent thoughts out around her tonight. Every time I tried my eyes traced the way she looked in that form fitting pink dress, or the way she’d opted to wear her flowers in her hair instead of on her wrist. She hadn’t a thought for what people would think, and I loved that about her. Besides, she was right, the flowers looked better placed amongst her golden tresses than nearly falling off as everyone else’s were._

_“Hey.” Emma’s voice took me by surprise as I spun around to see her smiling at me. One second too late I realized I was openly gawking at her, completely under her spell and craving so much more than just her friendship. “So I was thinking that we should probably dance.”_

_“You were?!” My voice sounded half strangled all of a sudden but Emma only nodded._

_“Well when you asked me to prom, you said we should be going for the full high school experience. I think your exact words were ‘we only have one shot at this, Swan.’” Her impersonation of my accent, terrible as it always was, made me heart sing._

_“I recall something along those lines being said.” I’d somehow managed to string a line of words together, which felt like a miracle in itself._

_“Dancing seems to be a part of this.” I could only nod at this point and Emma looked down for a moment before looking back up at me. “So do you want to dance?”_

_“I – um – yeah.”_

_My lack of eloquence amazed even me in that moment, but Emma only laughed, easing my nerves some as she took my hand and led me to the floor. My whole body felt shaky as we made our way out into the sea of other students, but when she stepped into my arms, I reached the pinnacle. This close I could smell the faint scent of vanilla and lavender on her skin, I could see the flecks of lighter green within her emerald eyes, and I could feel nothing but unbridled bliss._

_“I guess I should have warned you before, but I’m kind of a terrible dancer.” I didn’t believe that for a second, but I smiled, instinctively trying to reassure the bit of anxiety now marred her beautiful features._

_“There’s only one rule to dancing.” Emma raised a brow at me, easing into my hold whether or not she realized it._

_“And that would be…?” I moved an inch closer, close enough that with just a another small motion I could kiss those lips I’d been dreaming of since our first meeting._

_“Pick a partner who knows what he’s doing.” She giggled, and this close I could feel it down to my bones. I dared to hope in that moment that I would never have to let her go, that by the end of the night she’d understand she had my heart, and that we’d be together after all these years._

_“How do you know what you’re doing?” Emma asked pulling me from the happy thoughts I’d been lost in._

_“You’ve made me watch about a hundred movies that end with a high school dance, love, and in every one all they do is sway a little back and forth.” Emma rolled her eyes but smiled nonetheless._

_“Hey I listen to you go on about ‘real football’ all the time, you can handle my movies. Besides, that’s what best friends do.”_

_Just like that my heart deflated, and all the confidence I’d mustered from holding her close slipped away. The reminder that we were friends hit home my biggest fear all over again, and I cowered in the sight of it. No matter what I could not lose my Emma, but damn if being this close still didn’t feel like a million miles from where I wanted most to be._

………………

Perhaps it made him a worse person than most, but Killian had come to a very strong conclusion: he didn’t actually give a shit about what had transpired in the lives of ninety percent of his fellow classmates. This fact made his entire attendance at the reunion a largely undesirable one, save one part – Emma was here, somewhere, only he couldn’t seem to find her.

“Ruby just saved her from a new wave of inquiring minds. I saw her move into the hallway.” Killian looked over to see Belle warily sipping at her drink in hand and looking around the room. “You know, everyone can’t stop talking about how much things changed, and I feel like I’m right back there in the thick of it."

“Why do you say that, love?” Belle looked at Killian for a moment and then back at the sea of people. 

“I still have no idea how to carry on a conversation with half of these people, this room kind of smells like gym socks, and I would rather be home with a good book than anywhere with dancing.” Killian couldn’t help but laugh. That sounded like the Belle he knew.

“So why are you here then?” Killian thought she might be blushing at his question but then she looked back at him.

“I lost a bet, and now I not only have to come to this, but I’m letting Ruby set me up on a blind double date in…” Belle looked at her phone, “thirty minutes or so.”

“She still seeing Graham?” Killian probably needn’t ask, given that he’d seen the two of them making out at some point nearly every day Graham came to work on the house, but it was best to be certain. 

“Yeah. He has a friend Ruby thinks might ‘ _get me_.’ Whatever that means.” Killian muffled another laugh at that.

“Well at least you have a reason to bow out early, should Mary Margaret decide to enquire.” Belle simply raised her glass to that and then her eyes darted across the room. Killian’s followed to find Emma walking towards him.

_Bloody hell she looks fantastic,_ Killian thought, having already seen her of course, but it was still a lot to take in. The things she did to that sleeveless black dress made him weak in the knees. Belle had mentioned things feeling like high school and he had to agree. All of his responses to Emma remained just as fierce as they had when he was still a boy.

“ _Emma_ ,” No sooner was her name passed his lips than his Swan pulled him to her for a kiss, one with so much feeling it nearly knocked him over. Whatever was the cause, Killian could only thank the Gods he had the right to kiss her like this, and that they’d gotten this far again. He would never take a single look for granted from Emma, never mind a kiss like this.

“You know there’s nothing keeping us from being best friends and…more than friends at the same time.” Killian didn’t take her meaning for a moment, but when he did he grinned.

“Ah, I see you read the last part.” Emma’s hands were on his chest, one placed gently above his heart. He wondered if she could feel it speeding up from her presence.

“I keep thinking that one of these days, your words wont take my breath away, but they always do. I wish I had some to give you back but all I have is ‘I love you.’” Killian tilted her face up to his.

“Those three little words are the best of them all, love. I don’t need anything more than that.” Wrapped up as he was in Emma, Killian completely missed that someone was calling his name until Emma cleared her throat.

“I think someone’s trying to get your attention.” Killian looked over to see the DJ waving like a maniac.

“You asked for a song, man, and you just missed the intro.” Killian could feel his face heating up at the announcement the man made over the speakers and Emma smiled at him with amusement in her eyes. 

“You’re actually blushing right now.” Killian _harrumphed_ , which only made her giggle more, and so he didn’t care if he looked like an idiot. She seemed to like it, and he was all in favor of supplying Emma with more amusement.

“Last time you asked me for a dance, love. Perhaps this time I might ask you.” Emma didn’t say anything for a moment.

“Technically that wasn’t asking me.” Killian groaned at that and kissed her again just to pull back.

“Emma Swan, would you do me the honor of dancing with me?” Instead of poking fun at his formality she only nodded, taking his hand readily. Now the song played, the very one the two of them danced to at the prom as he held Emma close.

“Part of me wishes you’d told me that night, but then I realize that if everything hadn’t happened exactly as it has so far, we wouldn’t have this moment.” Killian understood her meaning. He was still coming to terms with it himself, and sometimes the pain of all they’d lost cut deeper than others, but she was right, and good and perfect to think they should be grateful. Leave it to Emma to find a silver lining in everything.

“Humor me for a minute, love, and imagine what you would have said was I honest with my feelings.” Emma looked him square on.

“I would have said I love you too. And then I probably would have asked you to make us a teen movie cliché and have sex with me in a hotel room after.” Killian barked out a laugh at that, then brought up one of his hands to cup her cheek.

“You say you don’t have a way with words, love, but I beg to differ.” Killian watched as Emma closed her eyes and leaned into his hand before looking back at him.

“Then maybe you’ll like this too: I’m ready Killian. I don’t want to hold anything back. I don’t want to waste another moment.” Killian knew what she meant, and also knew that this was what he’d been waiting for. She needed to understand that for him this was forever. This second chance would not be wasted, and as soon as they took this step, he’d need her always.

“Are you sure, Swan? I mean _really_ sure, because once we close this last bit of distance, there will be no shaking me.” Emma pulled him closer so her mouth was only inches away from him when she whispered her reply.

“That’s what I’m hoping for.” Another kiss passed between them and then it was time. They could both feel it, and neither wanted to wait another second. Just as the song was ending they ran out hand in hand from this place of their past, squarely into their future.

……………..

They made it back to Killian’s house in record time, and now that they were, Emma had to take a moment to see everything he’d really built here. This place, this house that she’d always dreamed of owning and making a life in, was even more gorgeous on the inside than its exterior. He’d not only been working to change things, but furnishing as he went, and all of his choices, each style and selection felt warm and inviting, and like a home. Emma walked through each room on the ground floor, finding each one the picture of perfection.

“Do you like it?” Killian asked, his arms wrapping around her when they stepped into the kitchen and she nodded.

“It’s beautiful.” The words didn’t feel like enough but Killian seemed pleased at them all the same.

“But is it right for you, Emma?” She turned around in his embrace, somewhat surprised at the bluntness of his question. On some level she knew all of this was her, but it still struck her to hear it.

“It’s everything I ever dreamed this house could be.” Killian’s hand came to cup her cheek.

“Good, because it’s yours.”

“What?!” Killian moved to a drawer and pulled out a stack of papers. Emma read them to see it was the deed to the house, and right there was her name just next to Killian’s. “You bought me this house. Why?”

“This house is your dream, love, but you are my dream. I want to give you anything and everything that makes you happy, for nothing compares to you in that regard for me.” Emma shook her head.

“You’re wrong.” Killian’s brow furrowed. “This house is _a_ dream, but you’re my dream too, the one I can’t give up. I love you, Killian, and the fear I was feeling… it’s been gone for a while now. I trust you, and I want you.”

“Thank God.” Killian said as his lips crashed down to hers and Emma immediately responded. Her arms came to wrap around him, her body molding to his, driven by an overwhelming desire for closeness. All sorts of thoughts flooded her mind about how to properly christen every room of this house, starting with this kitchen, but Killian had other ideas, sweeping her into his arms and bringing her upstairs.

“What? You’re not going to show me the rest of the place?” Emma could hear the breathiness in her voice, but couldn’t turn down the chance to tease him a bit. Killian shook his head. 

“Later. Much, _much_ later, Swan.” He finally put her down inside the master bedroom, a gorgeous space that Emma stood in awe of. It looked so inviting, but also strangely unlived in. Killian must have read her mind, for he filled her in on why that was quickly. 

“I’ve yet to spend a night in this house, love. It wouldn’t have been right without you.” Emma’s heart felt near bursting at everything going on right now, and she couldn’t help but think that _life_ just wasn’t right when they weren’t together, but instead she kissed him, ready to take this next step. When he broke away, Killian turned her around again, peppering her neck and her shoulder with kisses as his hands ran over her dress.

“Killian,” Emma could hear the little bit of pleading in her voice, but she didn’t know if she wanted him to slow down, or to tell him that he was going just right.

“You are far and away the most beautiful woman alive, love.” He took his time, easing the zipper down along the back of the dress, as he stood close behind her. She could feel his breath along her ear where he’d ducked to whisper his praise, and closed her eyes, wishing that his hands were on her. When the dress was removed and stepped out of, she got her wish. 

Emma was familiar at this point with the mastery of Killian’s hands, and the inferno they caused when he touched her, but this was different. This wasn’t a teasing interlude, but the point where they were really finding each other again. She’d waited ten years to have another moment like this with him and her body reverberated with an energy she hadn’t felt in all that time. Only Killian could pull these kinds of responses from her, and Emma was practically melting into him as he traced the curve of her hips. Looking into his eyes, her heart caught in her throat. Killian stood there staring at her like she was everything. 

“How are you even more beautiful than I remembered?” Emma started unbuttoning his shirt, trying to even her breathing. “To think how much we’ve missed love. Ten years of this. It’s nearly too much to bear.” Emma could hear the regret in his voice, and wanted to find a way to combat it. She stepped back a bit, taking off her bra while he watched her with complete and utter focus.

“Sounds like a challenge.” Killian looked back up to her eyes. “To make the best memories from here on out to make up for it.”

That comment was enough to have him pin her against the wall. Emma hadn’t expected quite that reaction, and she moaned in delight as the hard contours of his body pressed against her. He covered her mouth was his, ravenous for her and the chance to make those memories she’d mentioned. It was impossible not to feel branded by his kiss, because he gave and took so much with it. Her hands tangled in his hair, and Emma knew she was pulling at it roughly, but didn’t care. Then his mouth left hers and made its way to her neck and she tilted her head to give him better access.

She sucked in a breath as his hands trailed lower and one of them made its way to the seam of her panties, dipping inside the black lace to where she wanted him most. Her sex was hot and aching for him and when he swirled against her clit she succumbed to the dizzy delight of it. Her only response was to moan again and arch into him further. She felt him grin against her.

“I’ve been dreaming for months of taking you in _our_ bed, love, but I don’t think I can wait to make you come.” He filled her with two fingers at once and she cried out, relishing the feel but still wanting more. Her hips moved towards him but he didn’t leave her hanging. He continued his meticulous attentions until soon she was falling apart by his hand while crying out his name.

“God, you’re good at that!” Any other man would take those words and become a ball of ego, but Killian seemed only to draw more fire from the praise. Emma could see the thoughts racing in his mind about what to do with her next, and she was all needy anticipation waiting for him to make his decision. When he knelt down before her, ripping the last scrap of lace off of her like it was nothing, leaving her heated flesh exposed, Emma nearly passed out. He widened her stance, eventually opting to bear the brunt of her weight on his shoulders before taking a long, slow lick at her. Had he not been supporting her, this would have been a problem, because her knees gave way.

A sound came from Emma, but she couldn’t tell if it was his name or a hallelujah. Most likely it was just an unidentifiable noise, but Emma didn’t care. All she could focus on was this sensation like she was on fire in the best, most torturously pleasurable way. He used his tongue with perfect precision for what felt like an eternity, bringing her higher and then easing away. He knew exactly what he was doing, driving her crazy and then edging back from the tipping point, but right before she could scold him or beg him, he finally sucked on her clit pushing her into another climax even stronger than the first. 

“ _Now_ we go to bed.” Picking her up like she was nothing, Killian carried her over to the bed and lay her down on the giant, plush bed. 

“You’re a little overdressed.” Emma noted, and Killian looked down at his pants, stripping the rest of his clothes away quickly.

“Better?” Emma nodded as he came above her, her hands running over him as reverently as his had on her body.

“I’m afraid I won’t be able to be slow or gentle this first time, Emma.” 

“Who said anything about slow and gentle?” With a growl, Killian thrust into her, leaving Emma completely filled. She knew they’d been made for each other back when they were kids, but so much had changed, including the fact that there was nothing between them. She’d casually mentioned to him a few weeks before that she was on the pill, but that night ten years ago, she hadn’t been. Because of that, this felt even more intimate than their first time. Killian had also been a boy then. Now he was all man, and he had a much better idea of what to do to have her chasing a third release.

“Let go, Emma. I’ll catch you.” That was all it took. Sincerity and the undeniable truth that he would be there set Emma off into ecstasy with him following almost immediately. Their hands never left each other, and Emma felt like the last thing in the world she wanted was to move from this spot. Maybe they could stay here forever, never having to face the rest of the world again. They could just be together, safe and warm and happy.

“There’s nothing I love more than that smile,” Killian said as his thumb came up to brush against the corner of her mouth. Emma looked into his cerulean eyes, shining bright with his undeniable joy. She couldn’t help the mistiness that came to her eyes when she saw his honest love for her like this.

“I hope those are good tears, my love.” Emma nodded.

“They are. I’m just really happy you came back.”

“Nothing will ever take me away again, I promise you that.” Emma snuggled into his chest.

“I still can’t believe you bought me this house.” She didn’t have to look up to know Killian was grinning and then he pressed a kiss to the crown of her head.

“It’s here whenever you’re ready, love.” Emma purposely kept her head tucked into him when she asked the next question.

“What if I said I was ready now?” Killian urged her to look up at him and she did, seeing the hope in his eyes. 

“Then I would say that forever starts today.” Emma pressed a kiss to his lips gently. 

“Well okay then.”

**_Post-Note: This week has just been fluff/smut central. It’s so nice to be getting to these parts of the stories at similar times. All of them still feel new and fresh to me, but we’re passed a lot of the set up for this story and ‘In Your Light’ specifically. Established CS is easily my favorite to write, and so look forward to more cuteness and gratuitous smuff in the coming weeks. I hope you all enjoyed, and thanks as always for reading!_ **

 

 


	7. Chapter 7

**_A/N: Hello lovely readers. I am back with another chapter of ‘To See You This Way.’ This chapter brings Emma and Killian moving in together and a hint of an upcoming proposal. We have the usual fluffiness, both of their POVs and a little smut to round out the chapter. Rest assured I have loved writing this installment, and I am hoping you will all enjoy the amount of CS cuteness I’ve infused in here. Thanks for reading!_ **

Emma expected the overwhelming happiness that came from letting Killian back in her life to settle at some point. That would make sense, for the newness of the feelings to lull a bit, not leaving completely, but at least calming down some. It never occurred to her that she’d continue to wake up every day in Killian’s arms and always feel that warmth of love and contentment just as strongly as that first night. She just hadn’t believed it possible, but here they were, weeks after her confessing that she still loved him and she couldn’t tamper down her good feelings if she tried.

Emma caught herself smiling all the time, seemingly over nothing. She was quicker to laugh, and more willing to say yes to almost everything that came her way. She also never felt alone and for Emma that was a defining thing. Killian reminded her both with words and actions day in and day out that he was here with her and that he wasn’t going anywhere. They lived together in this place that had already become her home, and honestly, it was as close to perfect as Emma could imagine a place being.

Three weeks passed from the night Emma and Killian’s decided to live together before Emma actually went about moving all of her belongings to their house. It wasn’t any sort of hesitation that kept her from doing so earlier, actually quite the opposite. Emma’s days were filled with work, and her nights with so much love with Killian that she hadn’t wanted to pull away to pack things up. It was silly maybe, but Killian enabled her until a few days ago when he announced that he couldn’t wait anymore and Emma agreed. So they’d set out to box up everything in her apartment and they’d hired movers to bring it all here to their home.

The classification of this house as _theirs_ still made Emma tingle with excitement. She couldn’t imagine a more beautiful place to start a life with Killian, and he was nothing but accommodating at every turn, insisting that whatever she wanted they would have. Little did he seem to realize that he’d already created everything she could want on his own, but she promised him over and over that if anything came up she wouldn’t hesitate to tell him.

In the hopes of getting all of this done today so that they could have the intermingling of their two separate lives complete, Emma was here putting the last of her belongings away through the house while Killian ran some much needed errands. Mostly she was sifting through keepsakes from her last attic deciding where to put things or debating if she should just toss them back up in this attic as well. She’d barely looked through the boxes before, but felt she should now just to be sure she needed all of this stuff in the first place.

As Emma looked through the packaging, she unearthed things from all different moments in her life. Like her baby blanket, the one that she’d been found in as a newborn. It was all she had of her birth parents, and for a long time she’d warred with her feelings on it. Maybe it was a sign that someone cared enough to make or buy a blanket like this, but over time she’d come to see it as a reminder that for whatever reason, she hadn’t been enough for them. Now though, it as just a small token of a chapter in her story. She was no longer the abandoned girl without a family, and she hadn’t been that girl for a long time.

Emma moved to another box and found a whole host of pictures, ones she’d completely forgotten about as the years went on. Emma’s adoptive parents captured some of these moments, but other snapshots came from her own stints with photography. They covered everything, from her family trips to school activities, and in so many of the photos a certain blue-eyed boy joined Emma, always standing right beside her.

Looking at these pictures now, so many years after the fact, Emma couldn’t help but get a little teary eyed. His love for her was so clear now, and in half of these pictures, Killian looked at her with adoration instead of at the camera. It made her heart hurt in that same way that his beautiful words did. Emma made a pile of all the pictures she wanted to keep down here and to display throughout the house but some would go upstairs to gander at another day.

One box in particular proved to be a treasure trove for more memories than she’d ever expected. It was filled with books, or so she’d thought at first glance, but upon closer inspection, Emma realized these were her old diaries that she’d kept as a kid. What started as a therapeutic means of coping with her adoption grew into a habit that stuck with her for years, all the way up until leaving for college. She knew they were all likely filled with poor spelling and questionable grammar, but she couldn’t help but want to take a peak at them. 

She poured through years of feelings quickly, seeing in them a theme that could not be denied – she’d had it bad for Killian, and he was never far from her thoughts or her heart throughout all their years of friendship. Many of these stories were ones Killian reminded her of in his book, only written with less finesse, but one of the journals, the one from their last summer before college, provided a glimpse into moments Killian had yet to gift her with his take on yet.

Emma debated wading through the pages of the diary and binging on those good memories, but stopped herself, realizing that it would feel better and more vivid if she waited for Killian’s point of view. She didn’t want to risk dulling that lovely feeling that came with reading his perception of things, but she did allow herself to read a snippet that lined up with his most recent chapter Killian had given her.

Even as she read it, Emma could remember writing it years ago, and how she’d snuck into her house late that night completely overwhelmed with everything. The shakiness of her handwriting compared to the chapters before and after was noticeable, but also understandable. This had been a big moment for them, maybe one of the biggest in the whole history of their relationship.

Still, while she read the words, Emma felt a hunger grow for Killian’s take again. Though she’d already read the chapter a half a dozen times, she moved through the house to their bedroom to find it once more, essentially abandoning her final bit of unpacking. Emma pulled out the pieces of paper from their spot with the rest of his revealed manuscript and poured over them, losing herself again in a beautiful moment from long ago.

…………….

_We stood at the shoreline in the fading daylight staring out into the horizon. There was nothing but the ocean as far as the eye could see. The wind blew in our faces as the soft sound of surf mixed with the day’s last cries of the seabirds. Summer was here, and so was the rest of our lives._

_Walking across that stage today, I’d felt the shift. High school was over, and now Emma and I had one last summer – one last season to be in this place before the real world barreled in in some way or another. I didn’t believe for a second that we’d lose each other, but the impending shift left me feeling unsettled because distance of any kind with Emma was less than what I wanted. As if she could sense my anxiety, Emma reached out in that moment to take my hand in hers like it was the most natural thing to do._

_No one else was here on this beach, but even if they had been, I wouldn’t give a damn. I was proud to hold her hand like this, and when her fingers intertwined with mine it felt like a live wire shooting raw electricity through me. I could barely think, barely breathe, but I never wanted to let go, not as long as I lived. In the moment where she took my hand, my eyes immediately found her, looking at her profile as she continued her gazing out into the great beyond._

_Emma still wore her white dress from graduation this morning, the one that made her look even more angelic than usual. Her golden hair had long ago escaped the style she confined it to for the ceremony, and now the soft strands blew out behind her, dancing so enticingly I wanted nothing more than to reach out and be reminded of how soft her hair truly was. She’d stripped off her shoes the second we hit the sand and her toes were at the edge of the water, the slightest bit of foam lapping over her with each wave. Emma didn’t mind the cold of the Maine currents though, and neither did I. In fact, I was practically burning from the inside out just with the feel of her hand in mine._

_“We did it,” Emma finally said after a few minutes just standing there in silence._

_“Aye, love, we did.” Emma looked over at me then and smiled, squeezing my hand with a sad smile coming over her face. Without hesitation I stepped closer, abandoning my watch of the water, to pull her closer. “What’s wrong, Emma?”_

_“Nothing. It’s just, we’re leaving for school at the end of the summer.” I furrowed my brow, not understanding. We’d specifically chosen schools in the same city, or at least I had, despite getting into some other top Universities across the country. All I’d needed was one indication of Emma’s interests and I made my plan. I was off to Northeastern University in the fall, approximately one and a half miles away from her at BU._

_“We’ll both be in Boston though._ Together _.” Emma brightened a little at that but bit her lip all the same, a lingering sign of her worry._

_“I know. I’m just scared. I don’t want to lose you, Killian.”_

_Something in me finally boiled over at the point, and in a second, my desire to show her that I was never going anywhere trumped the years of anxiety and fear I’d been holding close instead of telling her the full truth. My hand came up to cup her cheek, and I watched as her shining green eyes widened. Before I could second-guess myself anymore, I leaned down to press my lips to hers and felt immediate pleasure at the brush of our lips. Though Emma seemed surprised she didn’t push me away, at least not before I pulled back, already craving another taste._

_“Why?” Emma asked, the breathiness in her voice undeniable as her emerald eyes searched mine for answers. I moved a wayward strand of her hair out of her face and behind her ear, emboldened by the kiss even though I still felt terrified._

_“Why what?” I asked, hearing the warble of uncertainty that the words held._

_“Why did you kiss me?” Here it was, the moment of truth, and I could not lie to Emma. I never had been able to even all these years of holding back._

_“Because I’m in love with you, Emma. I’ve always loved you, since the first time we met here on this beach.” I immediately wished I could give her better words, grander turns of phrase to make her see how much she meant to me. She was everything and all of me belonged to her without doubt or question, but I couldn’t get the thoughts off of my tongue. They held back, waiting for a sign that I hadn’t completely sabotaged the greatest relationship I’d ever known._

_One heartbeat marked the length of silence I waited through, but it felt like years passed me by in that moment. I needed to know what she thought, half convinced I’d just made the biggest mistake of my life, but then a smile appeared on my beautiful Emma’s face that out shone the sun. She seemed joyous in a way I’d never witnessed before at my words and my heart pounded in my chest, pumping raw and unbridled hope through my system._

_“You love me?” She asked, and I could hear how choked up with emotion she was even as she took a half step towards me._

_“I love you.” I couldn’t tell which of us moved first, but we collided then, crashing into each other to try and ease the tension that had resided between us for years. Emma’s arms wrapped around my neck as her lips came to kiss me, and this one blew the other clear out of the water. Emma tasted just as sweet as I’d always imagined, and she kissed like a dream. I could hardly comprehend the sheer bliss that came from holding her in my arms and kissing her like I’d always wanted to, but then she pulled back and whispered a few words of her own._

_“I love you too, Killian. So much.” In a second, all the what-ifs of my life faded away, replaced with an unimaginable but gorgeous truth: Emma Swan, through some kind of miracle, loved me. This girl with the golden hair and the quick wit who cared about everyone no matter who they were and who held more passion for life in her heart than anyone I’d ever met, loved me. Emma loved me!  
_

_We were consumed with out confessions, ensnared in this new discovery, and I have no idea how long we stood out there, clinging to each other, but when we pulled back finally, the moon shone bright and the sun had sunk long ago. The stars in the clear night sparkled, bright and vibrant in an inky black sky, but none of it held a candle to my new reality. I had the love of the best person alive, and I swore then and there to never lose it as long as I lived._

…………….

Nothing could take away the shine of the happiness Killian carried with him since making his way back into Emma’s life, but of course the Universe would try to chip away at the blinding joy from time to time. Today’s attempt came in the form of his Storybrooke neighbors, for even though his tasks this afternoon were clear and easily accomplished in theory, he had people stopping to talk to him left and right as he moved through the town checking things off his list.

Sending off the final foreword of his book to his publisher should have been a five-minute task at the post office, but it took nearly thirty with the swarm of elderly ladies who asked after Emma and that ‘big old house’ that needed ‘filling with babies.’ Not that Killian didn’t agree with them, because that was in fact the plan, but he didn’t need these women pressuring his Swan with their thoughts on when and how to go about starting their family.

From there he went to the grocery store, where Killian had all of five ingredients to pick up for their intended dinner. That quick trip devolved into a horror show right quick. Between all the people coming up looking for information on the moving van outside his and Emma’s home, and the staff who were frustrated with Killian for the slower than usual lines, Killian wanted to tear his hair out.

Finally Killian made it out and to Granny’s to grab him and Emma their lunch. There at least was some verbal reprieve, thanks to Granny herself who openly chastised their neighbors for badgering him, but he could still feel their stares, eyes watching him for some sort of silent sign of more information. He kept his eyes averted, completely aware that prolonged eye contact would just invite more talking that he didn’t want to partake in.

Killian couldn’t understand everyone’s fixation with him and Emma as a couple, but he prayed that it would fade soon enough. If he was going to be spending the next sixty years with Emma at his side only for the town to stalk their every movement, Killian was bound to lose it at some point. Granny, thank the Gods, was speedy in seeing to his order though, and disaster, at least for today, was averted.

With grilled cheese and onion rings then in hand, Killian made his way to his final stop of the day. This one though, required a level of discretion he hadn’t been able to achieve up until now, but he had a plan. He dropped the food off at his car and then made his way down one of the side allies off the main road. Killian knocked on the side entrance of _Cecilia’s Stones_ only for it to open up moments later.

“Oh good, you’re here. I’ve just closed the blinds and put up the sign. Come in, come in.” Killian followed the older woman and namesake of the town jewelry store, glad to find the place completely empty as promised. He exhaled the breath he’d been holding and followed Cecelia to the case she led him towards. She pulled out a black box from beneath the counter and opened it to show him the ring he’d had specially designed for Emma.

It appeared to line up brilliantly with his specifications: a large yellow diamond wreathed with smaller white ones on a white gold band. Killian originally wanted to buy a larger stone, but Cecelia insisted Emma would only find stress from anything more ostentatious. As it was, she’d had to custom order the central diamond since she didn’t usually carry this size. Killian eventually conceded the point, especially when he considered how unruly a diamond that size would be for a doctor.

“And the message?” Killian asked as Cecelia pulled the ring out to show him the inscription.

“ _’My Life and My Love’_ just like you wanted.” Killian nodded, taking the ring in hand and wondering at how something so small would be the sign of their commitment. His feelings for Emma felt so gargantuan but this tiny band with a couple of precious gems was supposedly enough to remind her and him of their ties to each other.

“You already bought her a house, Killian.”

Killian’s eyes flashed up to the woman who was smiling at him with amusement.

“How did you know what I was thinking?” Cecelia took the ring back, packaging it up again as she placed it in a bag for him to take home. He’d already paid her in full months ago, but still she included a receipt.

“Honey, most of my business is for men trying to express their love. Every once in a while I get one like you who doesn’t feel like a beautiful piece is enough. It’s that look in your eyes that tells me you and Emma will make it. Not every couple has that same amount of love, but the ones that do, they’re in it for the long haul.” Killian couldn’t help the grin that came at her words. He said as much to Emma and everyone who would listen all the time after all.

“I’m not entirely convinced I shouldn’t buy her an island or something.” Cecelia laughed and shook her head.

“Emma Swan has no need for an island, honey. She’s got you, and that’s all that girl ever wanted.” Killian knew that to be true, but still the reminder filled him with pride and relief. It also made the already present ache to return to her side that much stronger, and with a quick goodbye, and fast movements back to his car, Killian made another, smaller trip to be with his Emma once more.

……………..

Later that night, with the last of the packing behind them, Emma and Killian decided to walk from their house down the beach to watch the sunset. It was far cooler outside now than it had been their graduation night years ago, but Emma didn’t care, feeling perfectly comfortable since her hand held Killian’s.

“If your objective was to lure me out here for a repeat performance of the chapter, Swan… well then I am all too willing to indulge you.” Emma laughed, shaking her head before handing him the diary she carried with her. It was wrapped up in newspaper and Killian looked at it with a bit of confusion.

“I thought it might be fun for me to give _you_ a gift this time.” Killian smiled at her thoughtfulness, taking the book from her to unwrap it and see her diary.

“Is this what I think it is, love?” Emma smirked.

“If you’re thinking it’s one of the diaries I never let you read even though you asked me once or twice what I wrote in there, then yes it is.” Killian’s fingers traced the cover with reverence before he looked back up at her.

“Why, love?” Emma smiled, loving the simple question.

“Because I love you, and I always have. You’ve been showing me what you remember, it only seems fair for you to get my less literarily inclined version.” Killian moved forward, pulling her in for a kiss that was fierce and passionate, effectively stealing Emma’s breath away. She moved against him, her hands coming up to run through the hair at the back of his neck and for a moment, she completely forgot her plan. When he pulled back she remembered though.

“We can get to that part later, but I think you should read the first entry.” Killian shook his head and then looked over to a large boulder a little further up the beach. They’d sat here plenty of times as kids and Killian helped her up gently to sit down and then came to sit behind her, pulling her close so her back rested against his chest.

“I think I’d like for you to read it, love.” Emma started to say that she couldn’t do that, but he insisted and eventually she caved. She opened to the first page as Killian moved her hair over her shoulder and pressed a kiss at the spot where her shirt collar ended. It sent a happy hum off inside of her and as Killian wrapped his arms tightly around her Emma began to read.

_‘Dear Diary,_

_He loves me! Killian Jones loves me and I have never been so happy in my whole life!_

_Maybe I should start from the beginning. Graduation was today, and all of us seniors stood up and walked across the stage to get our diplomas. I was sick to my stomach thinking about it and all the changes it would bring, but Killian was there, trying to make it better at every turn._

_We muddled through the party that my parents and Liam threw for us after the ceremony (there was cake so it was automatically a pretty good time), but the best part came when we walked down to the beach together. I was so nervous, because I decided I was going to tell him. Tonight was the night, but just as I was about to, he kissed me. Killian kissed me! And when I asked him why like an idiot, he smiled at me, the one he does when he’s feeling a little shy, and he told me he loves me, that he always has ever since we first met._

_Oh, also I was right. Killian is an excellent kisser – not that I really have anything to go off of but still. He makes me feel like the whole world is right there in my hand and like I can do anything. If this is what it’s like kissing him, I can’t wait to get to sex.’_

Killian let out a cross between a grunt and a groan and Emma laughed lightly at his response. She’d known this part was coming, because she always had a very active imagination when it came to Killian, but his reaction was even better than expected.

“Do you want me to continue?” Killian nodded so Emma read the last few lines.

_‘Maybe it sounds crazy, but I’ve always felt like Killian was the person I am meant to be with, and tonight showed me that my dream can come true. I’m his, forever.’_

“Are you, love?” Killian asked, snuggling closer to Emma and she nodded.

“Yes, Killian. I’m yours.” Emma squeaked out a surprised sound as Killian hopped up and off the boulder, before pulling her into his arms. “Killian?”

“We’re going to answer your youthful inquiries, love, and I’m going to prove to you that sex is even better than just our kisses.” Pure heat shot through Emma at the promise and now she couldn’t wait to get home.

…………….

“ _Killian_!” He couldn’t help but grin at the sound of his name tumbling passed Emma’s lips when she was in the throws of passion. He was addicted to it, and over the past few weeks since they’d finally surrendered to the pull between them, Killian brought forth more of those cries from her than he could even count. Tonight would be no different.

“Aye, love?” He pulled back from her breast where his mouth had been focusing its attentions only for her to groan.

“You can’t just tease me all night.” Killian nipped at her and she jumped slightly.

“Teasing is such a strong word, love.” Emma rolled her eyes but moaned again as his hand moved back down to her sex, his thumb swirling against her clit. He’d already made her come like this once, but there was nothing to say he couldn’t do it again with a little patience.

“What else do you call driving me crazy like this without giving me what I want?” Killian pretended to consider while adding one finger and then another into her waiting heat. Emma arched towards him seeking more.

“I call it evidence.” Emma looked at him through her thick lashes trying to make sense of him while being overwhelmed with his onslaught of attentions. He took the opportunity to kiss further down her body, opening her thighs wider apart to look at her.

“Evidence of what?” Killian kissed the inside of her thigh and she bucked towards him slightly again.

“Think love.” Killian said before setting his mouth on her, and he knew his demand would be a near impossible one for her. Emma always lost herself when he took her like this, and it drove him mad with lust each and every time. He could feel her rising higher and higher with the pleasure of his mouth on her, swirling and tasting but when she was about to fall into her climax he pulled back.

“Wait, what? _Killian_!” He chuckled at the aggravation in her voice and then she answered him finally. “You’re still making this all about my diary, but we both know I’m not questioning any more. The sex is fantastic! Happy?” Killian growled his approval of her words.

“And you’re mine, don’t forget that part.” Emma nodded.

“Yes I’m yours, just like your mine. But if you don’t -,” Killian ignored the beginning of her empty threat and made good on her wanting with just the right amount of pressure and attention to her clit to send Emma spiraling off the edge.

“You were saying?” Killian asked when he’d come to kiss her mouth again and Emma groaned before pushing him over onto his back and coming to straddle him. 

“The cocky, self-assured thing is really hot most of the time. But not right now.”

Killian wanted to respond and ask her more about what she found particularly attractive, but then he was distracted by Emma’s hand on his cock. Emma successfully turned the tables on him and he fell victim to the same kind of teasing – for that was exactly what it was – that he’d subjected her to. It was near torture to feel so much bliss only for her to then pull away, both with her hand and then her mouth, but when she came up over him again he couldn’t help but find her alarmingly sexy as she posed her own question.

“Did I make my point clear?” Emma asked, patiently awaiting his answer. Killian nodded vigorously.

“You did, love. I’ll make sure to keep it in mind from here on out.” Emma shook her head as she lined up with him.

“Why do I have a feeling that this had the opposite effect of what I wanted?” Probably because he considered her actions and words a challenge Killian was now only too happy to rise to next time he had her in this bed.

“I couldn’t possibly guess, Swan.” And then he surprised her and pulled her down on him, prying a groan from both of them. The banter was behind them now, with so much desire and want coursing between them, but eventually they returned to their debate a while later once they were both spent, sated, and holding each other.

“Maybe it wouldn’t be _terrible_ if we did that again,” Emma whispered against Killian’s chest and he laughed, at her words before dropping a kiss to her forehead. 

“Keep talking like that and it’s likely to go to my head, love.” Emma laughed against him and as Killian held her in his arms he could feel her falling into sleep. Where Emma led, Killian would always follow, but just before he did, he thought of the ring he had hidden under a loose floorboard in this room and grinned. Soon enough he’d be asking Emma that all too important question, and when he did, she was going to say yes. Of that one truth, Killian was certain.

****


	8. Chapter 8

**_A/N: So here we are and yes, it’s that time – proposal day for TSYTW is here! I do want to give you all a heads up that this chapter has a slight differentiation in style and Killian’s writing is actually interwoven with Emma’s ‘real time’ perspective. It should make sense when you get there, but know that the italicized paragraphs are the words from his written chapter. Anyway, hope you enjoy and thanks so much for reading!_ **

Today was the day. Finally, after what felt like a whole lifetime of waiting, Killian was going to do it, he was going to ask Emma Swan to marry him.

Now, to be fair, when he’d originally planned out the means of making his way back into Emma’s heart and her life, he never dreamed that they’d be this far along already, but regardless of first expectations, Killian knew in his heart that this next step was coming. He’d been wishing for a day when he could say _‘I do’_ to his lovely Swan and make her his as much as he was already hers, and asking for that chance today would get them closer.

The undertaking to ask that question though, was one requiring far more work and effort than Killian alone could provide, and it necessitated a level of neighborly trust that should have been impossible, but with the right people behind him, Killian thought they just might pull this off. He had the sheriff and shop owners alike on his side, helping him to essentially shut down the center of town for a few hours of prep and then the reveal, and Mother Nature had shown up on his side too.

Without a sunny day, this proposal couldn’t happen as it was nearly entirely outside, and Killian was eternally grateful for the cloudless blue sky and mild coastal climate today. It seemed like a Universal stamp of approval for him and Emma. If all went well, he’d have his answer in just another hour or so. He could hardly wait to see what Emma thought of all of this, for surely it was a much larger gesture then she might expect.

The past few months Killian had set out on a mission, to walk Emma through the journey of their love, to unravel their past story so that they could set out on making a new one, and that was the central theme of this proposal. It would start at their home, wandering through town passed places that had become staples in their story and ending up back at the beach where it all began.

To get her there, Killian decided words were still his surest tool, but this time they were painted, either onto sidewalks or the street or onto storefronts themselves. The idea of asking in that way came to him before he was even back in Storybrooke at all, when he’d still been in California and had seen a street art festival. It was impossible not to notice the color and beauty the creations could present and he wanted Emma to have something unique and stunning when he asked for her hand in marriage.

The process had taken weeks to research and investigate, but when he finally had a plan he made it known to the people who loved Emma the most, and every single one of them was just as dedicated to giving her this perfect moment too. They were all out here with him writing portions of the message and adding the other decorations in different sectors of town. Most of them were just finishing up now, and with only a little time left to spare, Killian was grateful that it was all coming together.

“You realize that you are ruining all the rest of us unmarried women in Storybrooke for proposals forever now right?” Tiana asked as Killian looked up from his final spot of decoration in the center of town. The woman smiled despite her inference and Killian laughed.

“That would be a completely unintended consequence, love. I simply want to see Emma happy.”

“She will be, and she deserves this.” Belle chimed in from her station, holding her paints close to her with a dreamy look in her eyes. Most of the morning Belle had been reaffirming the romantic element of this proposal and claiming she had a uniquely qualified to say that given her owning a bookstore and all.

“I just can’t believe David and the rest of the force have actually managed to keep people away,” Tiana added and Killian knew what she meant. Basically the only thing that could entice people to keep away for the morning was a promise that the words would still be there for a while. It would take at least a week or one good rainstorm to wash away the paint from these surfaces, and he could just imagine people’s reaction to it all. It wouldn’t matter though, the only person whose opinion he needed to be positive was Emma.

“Hey is that your phone?” Killian shook his head coming out of the daydream to realize it was his phone and that Dave was calling.

“Hello?”

_“You told me to call you if and when my wife started to get carried away. Well she and the kids have been here almost an hour, so you do the math.”_ Killian grinned at David’s words. He’d given the Nolan clan a very special part of the decorating mostly because the little ones wanted a chance to help but couldn’t be trusted with the paints. They were helping with the final part on the beach, and though he’d given pretty clear instructions, he could just imagine how out of hand things had gotten.

“I’m on my way.” With that, Killian took his leave of the others, taking one last quick look around and seeing things were just as he’d imagined. Now all he had to do was wait and hope that Emma loved this as much as he hoped she would.

……………

Leisurely stretching as she came awake from a glorious night’s sleep, Emma noticed something right away. Killian was missing, and his side of the bed was cold, meaning he’d been gone for some time. It was hard not to pout at such an occurrence, seeing as Emma had been spoiled for a while now with waking up in his arms, but then she remembered he told her he was working on something important this morning before they’d fallen asleep. Emma trusted that whatever it was must be big because Killian had made it clear time and time again that he liked to start the morning with her always.

In a matter of months, Killian managed to change her life and completely rearrange it so that the slightly boring, barely content parts that once existed were turned into something beautiful. She had closure on old wounds, and hope for the future. Every day was a day she cherished, and after years of just trying to get through school, or a workweek, having that feeling that she was happy to be present and part of her life was a blessing. She owed a lot of that to Killian and his return.

Looking at the clock, Emma saw it was nearly time for her to be up anyway. She’d promised her friends that they could all get breakfast together at Granny’s and she had to get moving if she wanted to make it on time.

Emma went through her morning ritual, moving through this home and smiling all the way. This was fast becoming her safe haven, the place where she and Killian could be together and build their life and she loved every part of it. Emma knew that Killian was her forever, he’d said it and showed her over and over since coming back, and now she was growing more and more comfortable with imagining that future.

She could see kids running down the corridor from their bedrooms and through the house with happy laughter, and family movie nights in the den. She wanted nightly dinners were they talked about school and friends, and where she and Killian talked about work. Maybe they’d even build a tree house in the backyard, because that was something she’d always wanted for herself as a child. She could picture a whole world here, one so much brighter than the one she thought was coming a few months back.

Emma also thought about more moments with Killian here. She remembered their first night in this house together, and wondered if they’d be here on their wedding night. She pictured finding out she was pregnant someday and planning out a nursery, and every image was so vivid and so real, Emma felt she could wade through them for hours. Instead though, she was pulled back by a text from Ruby, reminding her about breakfast.

_Ruby: We’re still on for 10 right?_

_Emma: Yup, just leaving now._

With the reminder of the day still in front of her, Emma headed out, anxious to talk to her friends about how good things were going and then to see when she could make her way back to Killian. She had a few ideas of how they could make up for their lost morning, and the idea of showing him the way her thoughts were moving brought a grin to her face.

But as soon as Emma left through the front door, locking it behind her, she noticed something on the sidewalk, a splash of color that normally didn’t reside there. She moved closer to see that it was words, written in some sort of paint, and saw the finesse in the handwriting meant it wasn’t a child. In fact, she recognized the way that script moved across the pavement and knew instinctively without even reading the content that it was Killian’s doing. Emma was sure of it even before she read the note taped to the front porch with a single rose attached. She quickly opened it to read whatever her thoughtful boyfriend had come up with today.

_Emma,_

_I can think of no better way to give you this last piece of our story. It was long the pinnacle of love for us, the most brilliant part of what we were, but now we’ve made new memories, and there are many more to come. The story of us is more than words on the page, Emma. It’s this place, our home, and the inescapable truth that I belong to you. I will never have a way to say all that I feel, but maybe this will show you just a fraction of what you mean to me._

_Yours, Killian_

Emma clutched the note to her chest, already feeling the tears in her eyes. Just when she thought she’d seen him at his most considerate, he gave her things like this, moments she could never even imagine in her wildest fantasies. Killian had been holding back on giving her the final two chapters of the book, claiming they needed more time, but something had apparently changed and Emma was glad for it. Eager to set out and get her story, she moved down the road, following the beautifully written words as she barely took in the rest of her surroundings.

_Trying to uncover the truth of love is something that everyone must face. It’s a journey to discover what lies beneath the surface of our strongest feelings and our deepest bonds. For me, I first knew love in the warm embrace of my mother’s arms when I was young, or in the proud pat on the shoulder that my brother would bestow for years after she passed away. It was a quiet love, but strong, fiercely loyal for we were family, born together tied by blood and set in stone._

_Still I didn’t know love in its entirety, I never felt unbridled passion, I never sensed what it means when two hearts beat as one until I had her. Stunning and enchanting and too good to be true, Emma Swan walked into my life and changed the whole world around her for the better. She made me better too, and in doing so she ruined me for anyone else. The only person who I could ever love like this, who I could ever be myself with, was Emma. I would love her for this day and for every day._

_Emma was the guiding light in each and every part of my world, the best part of me, and the hope that my life could be superior to the stories of old with princesses and pirates and lands of magic. Because life with Emma was_ real _, loving her was realness in its truest form and the last summer we had together, the brief window where we were honest about every piece of our love, was the most glorious thing that ever was._

At this point, Emma was truly fighting back tears as she turned the corner to Main Street. Killian hadn’t just painted out his lovely words, but included flowers amongst them all for Emma to gather at equal intervals. She had a quickly growing bouquet of them in her arms and it was too beautiful to describe.

The time it must have taken him to write all of this and get all of this together was not lost on Emma, and it was impossible not to notice how quiet this place was, given that it was a beautiful Saturday with better weather than they often got this late in fall. But the only people Emma could see were her friends, Ruby, Belle, Mary Margaret, and Tiana who all stood there smiling at her.

“Guys I’m sorry, I don’t think I can do this right now. Killian, he -,” Emma’s voice broke from the overwhelming emotion as Mary Margaret came to take Emma’s hand and smile warmly.

“We know, Emma.”

“We all helped!” Belle said brightly from behind them though Emma could see happy tears in her friend’s eyes too. 

“This isn’t just a chapter, is it?” Emma asked, suddenly realizing that a gesture this big meant something was coming, something she’d wanted for so long. Her friends all shook their heads.

“Where is he?” Emma asked, tempted just to bypass his words and find him. She knew what was coming now, and she wanted it right this second too.

“Emma, this man spent weeks planning this proposal, you are not skipping any single second of it, do you hear me?” Ruby’s words were stern, but one rang out the loudest – _proposal_. Ruby was right; this was the moment and Emma would honor everything Killian had made for her. Without another word she hugged her friends close and then set back down the road

_I had her, every part of her, securely in my heart and one night in that fading summer magic, I knew what it was to finally have Emma in every way I wanted. Emma was mine, and she loved me. I held her in my arms, keeping her close after the moment we’d both been waiting for. We were one, and we were so happy I thought nothing could ever break it apart. Surely nothing could ever undermine the very thing that kept my heart beating._

_But one thing had the power to do just that – doubt in myself and in the strength of our love ripped away the chance I had at perfection, the chance we had at holding each other’s hand through each and every first that came our way. I was the weak one, the boy too scared to face a moment of confusion head on, and my poor, sweet, Emma, she still looked at me like I hung the stars._

_I was cold to her, I turned my back on the sun and watched as she broke in front of me, but didn’t shatter. My love was the strongest person I’d ever known, surely stronger than me, the child who thought himself a man. How I hate the boy I was then, because he didn’t deserve her, and he damned us to a life of regret and wondering why and how._

_It doesn’t matter what I thought happened, it doesn’t even matter what did, what matters is I was wrong. I let myself be governed by fear and because I couldn’t trust, because I wouldn’t fight for the best thing in the world I lost her. The angel that I couldn’t live without was gone by my hand. I’d pushed her away, shunning the light and thinking I could somehow still breathe the same, be the same._

_I was a fool, and I knew it each and every day. Almost ten years of days passed, and every one I woke up knowing it wouldn’t ever be my best, for I’d had that already and I’d given up the chance at every other best day left. Three thousand, four hundred and eighty four days and I never would have known had it not been for the same brother who brought me to the house beside my savior in the first place._

As Emma now stood in front of her childhood home, and just beside Killian’s, she was fully wiping away tears. She knew he regretted leaving, he’d told her over and over and she believed him, but this last part took her by surprise. Liam was the one to bring him home?

_“It’s been years, I should be over it, I should just forget him but I don’t think I ever will. My heart just won’t let me.”_

“Oh my God,” Emma whispered the words aloud, and realized she recognized them. She’d been on the phone with Elsa months before Killian came back and it all clicked then, why they’d started this journey back to each other in the first place. She’d stopped even wondering when things started going so well again. She just assumed things always worked out, but now she knew, now she saw how this all almost didn’t happen. It made her feel somehow even more grateful.

_And so it was that my savior saved me again. I have to believe Emma reached me as she did not just through brotherly interference, but through fate. Part of her must have known that the life I led was empty. She must have known that all these years later I still lay awake some nights cursing the way we’d ended, wishing she was in my arms again even if I didn’t know the truth._ She _was the truth, and her words gave me cause again, gave me hope again._

_I have to believe miracles happen and that they happen even for those of us who don’t deserve them, because Emma is my miracle, and whatever happens, whether she ever sees me the same way again or not, she will always be the best thing in the world to me._

The words ended there, just before the beach and Emma felt her heart squeezing in her chest. This was so much more than she could even wrap her brain around, but she knew one thing – she had to find Killian right now and tell him that he was her miracle too.

…………..

All along her way through town, Killian was getting updates from Emma’s and his friends. He knew at every step what she was reading and seeing, but with each new beat of progress in the journey, Killian grew more and more agitated. He felt like pacing. Sure as he was in them and their forever, he was still restless from all that he was giving away. Killian wanted her here and in his arms, but he also wanted her to have a perfect moment. Only that thought kept his feet planted on the ground here at the end of the beach.

Eventually she did come though, and Killian saw her flash of blonde hair before anything else as she made it to the top of the beach. When she saw him there, surrounded as he was by the last bit of the surprise, he watched her freeze to take him in. It felt like months ago when he’d seen her for the first time again, and Killian couldn’t help the hammering of his heart at the sight. 

With sure and steady steps she walked towards him, only now daring to break her gaze from him to take in their surroundings. The decorating had two essential elements: hundreds of sand dollars and red roses all around the sands.

“Killian.” Just his name said that way with all the emotion in her voice was enough to pull him forward. Damn his plan, he was going to hold her, and to make her see that this was the only thing he ever wanted. He could see the tears in her eyes, now slipping down her cheeks and he needed to be sure they were happy.

“Emma, I love you.” He almost groaned at how blunt that was. He’d been going for finesse, and what he got instead was desperation. Emma smiled and laughed, despite the continued stream of tears.

“Yeah, I kind of got that.” Her little bit of teasing made his heart practically burst into song.

“Aye love, I thought you might. Did you also get the part where I want to be with you forever? Where I want to make you Doctor Emma _Jones_ and fill that house of ours with all the kids we could ever want? Where we live each and every day together until we’re old and gray, and where we’re deliriously happy?” Emma nodded. 

“That was somewhat implied.” Killian laughed this time and then he took a step back to get down on one knee. From his pocket he pulled out a special sand dollar that he had found himself on the sands since coming back to Storybrooke. He had decided when he found it that he would present it with her ring, since to them they symbolized forever too.

Emma barely looked at the ring, but Killian saw her take in the sand dollar and smile. Then her green eyes stayed trained on him, and in them he could see her love and excitement. Passed the mistiness of tears there was hope and belief and trust, and Gods if that wasn’t the best thing he’d ever seen.

“Emma Swan. I have loved you from the very first moment I met you, and I swear here and now that I will always love you, in this life and beyond. You are it, Emma, you are everything, and I could wax poetic about it for hours, but frankly I think we’ve had enough words for one day. I just want you, Emma, and if you’ll have me I promise to make you happy. Whatever it takes I’ll do it.” Emma’s smile grew wider.

“Kiss me.”

Killian wasn’t expecting that but instantly he rose to his feet and did as she asked, reveling in her eagerness to join him in passion and demand. The kiss was a promise and an answer, but he still pulled back, needing to hear just one more word from her. Before he could ask her for it though, she gave it freely. 

“Yes.” Emma said, her hand running over his chest and Killian wondered if she could feel his heart bursting with joy. If she did she didn’t say anything. With deft fingers he slipped the ring on her finger and kissed her again, his mind without thoughts on anything but his lovely Swan.

When Emma pulled back a few minutes later, Killian wasn’t near ready to let her get away but she insisted, and he yielded. He’d promised after all, and Emma held all the power here.

“I know you said we didn’t need any more words, but I just wanted to tell you one thing. It took our whole lives to get here, it took my whole life to see you exactly this way, Killian, but it was worth it. I believe in us and in our future, and I’m willing to fight every day for it if it means we can be together. So no more regrets, no more living in the past, let’s just be together. Okay?”

“As you wish, love.” Emma gave a happy sigh and pulled him closer to her again, whispering against his mouth.

“Good. Now take me home.” Killian was only too happy to oblige.

………….

Waking up before the sun the next morning, Emma couldn’t keep the smile from her face. She should probably be sleeping, but real rest just wouldn’t come. She was too giddy from everything that had happened, and honestly too happy to think of sleeping. Emma glanced at her nightstand to see her two sand dollars, the one she’d given Killian years ago and the one he’d found for her. They sent her spiraling into memories of everything that happened all over again.

In the moment it had all been so big and there were so many intricate parts she couldn’t even recall, but what she did know was that it was all so Killian. She never would have expected something like that, but in retrospect she should of. Her fiancé was a romantic through and through.

Just thinking of him as her fiancé had a thrill coursing through Emma. She looked at the ring he’d given her now firmly residing on her finger and saw its beauty and flawlessness, but the best part was what it meant and what it symbolized. It meant some day, some day very soon according to Killian, she was going to marry her first and only love. That day couldn’t come soon enough in her opinion.

Emma pulled the ring off for just a moment to inspect it, because until now she hadn’t had much time to do so. She was so wrapped up in her soon to be husband to do it, but she had a niggling thought that with Killian nothing was ever just its surface. Then she saw it, the inscription – _‘My Life and My Love.’_

Emma’s whole body warmed at the words just as he started to stir beside her and his arms wrapped tighter around her waist. Killian placed a kiss to her bare shoulder and then started speaking with that gravel of sleep clinging to his tone. 

“Up again I see, Swan.” Emma turned to face him and kissed him immediately, and despite his sleeping Killian was with her in an instant. God this man was so good to her, so loving and so wonderful, and right now she just wanted to feel it and all that they were together. 

“Can’t sleep.” She said, breathless from the kiss as Killian moved his hands across her body underneath the sheet covering them. Emma could feel the lightening-like intensity of his touch as his fingers grazed passed her breasts over her curves and then moved to her waiting heat, which Emma couldn’t help but crave. He knew what she wanted because he knew her better than she knew herself half the time.

“I think I have just the thing for that, my love.” Emma practically purred at his words and then she actually whimpered just from the feel of his finger against her clit moving in slow circles. Slow and sweet with Killian was the surest way to drive her mad, but she wanted it so badly.

At the sound of her enjoyment, Killian growled low and switched their positions so he was above her, taking her mouth in another passionate kiss. Emma arched upwards wanting to forego the slow perusal, and just get lost in each other, but Killian had other ideas. He trailed a series of nips and sucks down her body in slow, agonizing, bliss before bringing her sex to his mouth. Only once he was there was his exploration fast and rough and perfectly enacted. Every lick, every suck at her clit, coupled with the eventual joining of his fingers within her had Emma’s body shaking and her mind unable to think of anything but him and this and how they could have this every day.

“ _Fuck_ , Killian, right there!” He hummed against her and the vibration alone pushed her into a glorious orgasm. He didn’t let her back off of the high though, staying right there and working her further until the lingering sensitivity sparked into an even stronger desire.

Emma understood Killian’s intentions now, and didn’t know if she could handle it. If he was going to exhaust her this way she might die of pleasure. She did have one tool in her wheelhouse though, and she was going to use it to get what she really wanted most of all.

“Killian I need -,”

“Anything, love.” Emma met his eyes and smiled.

“ _You_. I need you, Killian.” In seconds he’d abandoned his unofficial post and was back with her exactly as she’d known he would be. Emma grinned at that and pushed him back down on the bed.

“Why do I have the sense I’ve been duped?” Emma came above him and took him all in. Her fiancé was gorgeous and she was a lucky girl. 

“Because you have. Besides, it wasn’t fair for you to have all of the fun.” Killian’s responding cocky grin shot straight to her sex.

“I believe you were having a fair bit of _fun_.” Emma blushed at his words, because it didn’t matter that they were this intimate all the time, Killian always made her feel everything so much more acutely. Like when his eyes wandered over her as his hands came up to hold her hips.

“You take my breath away, Swan.” And just like that he’d gone from dirty flirting to incredible sweetness. That was her man, her Killian. 

“I love you, Killian.” He positively beamed at that.

“I love you too, Emma.” With that, Emma lowered herself onto his hardness and brought them both to the release they were aching for. When he could feel her starting to crest, and tighten around him, Killian brushed his fingers against her clit and that was all it took for Emma to succumb to sensation and come again with him following just behind her.

At last Emma lay spent in Killian’s arms, and felt a slight pull of fatigue as he wrapped his arms around her once more. This was her home, right here in Killian’s arms, and it was the only place she ever wanted to be. 

“Will you sleep now, my love?” Emma nodded into his chest, before placing a light kiss there and in just a few moments they’d both given over to sleep. Luckily for Emma, the dreams she found there were almost as amazing as the one she got to live while awake.

**_Post-Note: So… what did you think?! I personally wrote this more than a year ago and I'm still picturing such a huge grand gesture proposal and luxuriating in the fluff and feels that could only happen in an AU.  I hope that you all enjoyed though, and I thank you for reading!_ **


	9. Chapter 9

**_A/N: Hey all! This will be the last chapter I write before the wedding, but it has some things I definitely want to include like the chapter about Killian’s leaving Storybrooke the first time. Yes it will be angsty, but I’ve more than supplemented with cuteness and hope in the present, I promise. I hope you enjoy, and as always, thanks so much for reading!_**  

No one ever wanted to feel sick, but for Emma this past week, the unsettled feeling in her stomach was a truly unwanted companion. Things were going so perfectly in every other area of her life, knowing that in just one more week she’d get to marry Killian after what felt like a lifetime of waiting. But the past few mornings she’d woken up feeling groggy and gross even when she was in Killian’s arms. It was strange and unwanted and she was determined to see whatever this bug was behind her.

As a doctor herself she knew what symptoms to look out for and though uncomfortable she wasn’t overly ill. No fever or aches, but when day three came of the same nausea it dawned on Emma that there was something wrong, so she’d called her doctor who was happily situated at the Storybrooke hospital and here she was, awaiting some answers. 

In the meantime though, Emma was enjoying quite a bit of fanfare from some of the medical staff on call today, including one of Tiana’s good friends, Jasmine. The woman was a more than capable nurse, but right now she was swept up in recounting Killian’s proposal, which had happened a little over two weeks ago.

“I still can’t believe how romantic it all was,” Jasmine said, sighing wistfully as she took more of Emma’s vitals. “I must have followed the path with my friends a dozen times, and believe me, my boyfriend got an earful about how romance should be after that.” 

Emma laughed at the notion of anyone else being held to Killian’s standard. Her fiancé had blown any proposal out of the water and the still unmatched women in Storybrooke were very aware of that. To be a man dating one of those women now must be… _interesting_ to say the least. The expectations for proposals in town from here on out would definitely be higher, and Emma smiled to think that she and Killian were the ones to set the bar. 

“I’m not sure I should tell Killian you said that. He’s already enjoying the town’s approval a bit too much.” Emma was teasing and she knew that Jasmine understood that when she laughed, but before the other woman could respond, Emma’s doctor was back in the room once more.

“I think we’ve found the cause of your symptoms, Emma.” Victor Whale said as he came in handing Emma her own chart. This was something they’d started when he took her on as a patient. She could make more sense of every detail this way anyway, but one thing in particular popped out on the page.

“I’m pregnant?!” Emma said, louder than she might have anticipated. It was just so unexpected, and yet Emma felt her whole body flooding with a want so strong she could barely contain it. It should have dawned on her before, but it hadn’t. For whatever reason she’d overlooked the signs but now she knew. She was pregnant!

“That you are. It’s early still, but in the window for morning sickness.” Emma nodded, not even looking up from the page before her. 

“Oh my god, what’s Killian going to do for a baby?!” Jasmine’s excited squeal brought Emma’s attention back up from the test results and she couldn’t help grinning. Emma doubted Killian’s reaction would ever embody the same level of public display as his proposal had, but she knew that with her, in the privacy of their home there would be something. Her instincts promised this was all going to work out beautifully. 

“Well that’s up to him. But for you, Emma, I want to see you in for the normal amount of check ups. We’ll run a few more labs and get you on the supplements you’ll need. Oh who am I kidding, you know the drill.”

Technically yes, Emma knew what was expected from a pregnant woman medically, but she didn’t _know this_ know this. All of this was a big next step, one she probably should be worrying over, but instead her hand moved to cover her belly and she felt tears sting her eyes at the thought that there was a little boy or girl growing in there.

“Congratulations, Mom,” Jasmine said happily as she and Doctor Whale took their leave so Emma could change back into her clothes. She took another moment just to take it in, and then she moved with purpose, hashing out a plan as she got herself ready. She was still in the thick of her thoughts as she exited the hospital and moved through town a few minutes later. 

Emma could hardly wrap her mind around how happy she was. A child, Emma and Killian’s child together, was already on the way. They were only months away from a baby, one she and Killian would love with everything in them. She had wanted kids for so long but never did she think it would happen so quickly.

For a moment she flirted with the idea of not telling Killian until their wedding night. What a gift that would be, to tell him after they’d said _‘I do’_ that she was pregnant, but in all honesty, Emma didn’t think she could manage keeping the secret. She was too excited, too desirous to tell him and start planning everything that it didn’t seem possible.

Part of Emma didn’t even want to wait another second, pushing her to call him right now and tell him the good news but she knew the moment she did he’d rush to her side and sweep her away from everything she still had going on. Today was her last day at the clinic for a month. Starting tomorrow there would be a new doctor (under the careful watch of Tiana) running the place in her stead so she could get ready for the wedding and enjoy the extravagant honeymoon Killian had planned. She couldn’t just take off today too, not when she had patients specifically penciled in for appointments who needed to see her before she left. 

So instead, Emma headed towards the clinic and not home, knowing that if she could just make it through one more day then she could tell Killian everything tonight.

……………..

 _“So we are exactly where we need to be schedule wise for the book hitting stores in a month. First projections have you launching at number one easily but preorder goes live in a little over a week. We’ll know more then.”_  

Hearing his agent talk of the launch, Killian had to shake his head. There was a time when such conversations would have mattered to him. When he’d written his first book for publication just out of school, he remembered feeling completely overwhelmed and more than a little terrified, but even in that moment he’d thought of Emma. He wanted to know if she’d see him and if his success would mean anything to her. He might have been hurt but he was missing her even after years of separation.

That was another reason these weekly check-ins bothered Killian more than they should. In many ways this life of writing for the sake of promoting and selling was one of his past. He would always love writing, he’d always follow the stories as they came, but success simply didn’t mean the same thing to him anymore, and no awards or accolades would hold a candle to the reception this book had gotten from Emma. It had won her back, brought him once more into her good graces, and that was the only seal of approval Killian needed.

“I won’t need to be apprised of any of it.” Killian knew he must sound a bit more than put out to his agent, but in a week’s time he’d be married and then he was taking Emma abroad for an extended honeymoon. They were leaving home just for a little while in the hopes of finding adventure together. The last thing he needed when gone was to think about the economic viability of their love story.

 _“I figured as much. Mills House came in with an offer for a contract reup. It’s lax in any promotion. They’re willing to yield just to have you as an author which you could use to your advantage.”_ Killian knew his agent was likely right, but even that exploration into his professional future seemed too much.

“I’ll trust your instincts. You can pitch a move to me when I get back. Is that all?”

_“For now yeah. There’s some producers sniffing around the rights to the book, but I’m holding them off. Your first copy will be in the mail this week, and in your hands by the wedding. Congratulations, by the way.”_

Killian smiled, liking that his final gift to Emma, and the final chapter of their story would be more than simple pages, but the book itself. He’d given special instructions to have one single copy printed with their real names, and believed it was the only copy they would ever need.

With little more than a thank you and goodbye, Killian hung up the phone, but remained as he was in his office at the house, thoughtfully contemplating next steps. The book was finished, but a part of it, one that he hadn’t included for public consumption, still awaited Emma. It was the worst moment in their history, the morning that they said goodbye, but after months of debating whether he should share this part with her, Killian realized he had to. He was asking for everything from Emma, the least he could do was give her the same in return. 

In the book now, he’d glossed over their fall out, choosing hope instead of sadness, but before returning to Storybrooke, when he had just begun his crusade to earn Emma’s affections back once more, he wrote this chapter. It was actually the first that he sat down to type, on the night that Liam called him. He couldn’t sleep until it was out there, hoping that by letting these words out, letting this particular memory run free, he could finally release it. 

Reliving that pain wasn’t what he wanted, especially when he now knew the truth, but Emma should still know, that even at his worst she’d been there. He’d tried to run and to push feelings aside, but they remained ever present in his heart, and she remained a constant in his life.

Settled then on his next step, Killian wrapped the final portion of their first story together in another box, just the same as all the others but this time white. It felt important to Killian that he give this to Emma in the confines of a blank space. The future was theirs, to make of it what they would and it had all come about despite this one moment of weakness and folly.

……………..

_“Killian!” My heart stuttered painfully in my chest at the sound of Emma calling me. Placing the last of my boxes in the back of the car, I steadied myself, hoping beyond hope that this moment wouldn’t break me._

_I had wanted to steal away in the early morning, leaving her a note or something, perhaps a message through Liam, but now that Emma was present, facing me with that open vulnerability she always had, the pain was even worse. You’d never know that yesterday had happened, and clearly she was oblivious to everything I’d seen. Now looking at her only brought up the painful memories so I turned away._

_“Hey, are you and Liam going on a trip or something?” Emma asked confused as I shook my head._

_“I’m off to school.”_

_“Killian I don’t understand.”_

_I’d never heard concern like this in Emma’s voice before. Part of me, even now wanted to erase it, to fix this for her, but I couldn’t angry and resentful as I felt. Everything was gone, everything I thought we wanted was a lie, and I wasn’t willing to wait around and try and pick up the fractured pieces of the life I pictured anymore._

_“The situation’s changed, Emma. I’m off to UCLA. Early admission program starting tomorrow.”_

_My words held more than one meaning as I said them aloud. Yes, this change in school signaled a transformation of my earlier plan, but what I meant was that seeing her kissing Walsh, watching her in the arms of another guy after finally tasting everything that could be between us had sent me spiraling. My heart was broken, ripped from my chest, and all that was left was darkness._

_“Wait, UCLA? I thought that – well I mean I thought we were going to Boston in the fall. There’s still a few weeks and -,” I interrupted Emma, afraid that if I didn’t she’d suck me right back in. I had to hold onto the anger and the hurt, the knife in my back that pained me every time I so much as tried to breathe._

_“I got in off the wait list and it’s the best program in the country.” The flash of pain in her eyes was only marred by a sad sort of acceptance. She was grieving my loss but still wanting me to be happy._

_“Well you deserve the best, Killian. You’re the most talented person I know, and you’re going to blow them all away.”_

_My hand moved instinctively to grasp hers, wanting to silently show her how desperate and agonized I felt, but I balled it into a fist, slinging the pack that I’d hauled here earlier into the trunk of Liam’s car. My flight left in just a few hours out of Boston. I’d chosen it in the hopes of getting as far away from this feeling as I possibly could._

_“Thanks.”_

_“Wait that’s it? You’re just leaving, not even a good bye or anything?”_

_I turned back to see the tears in her eyes, and where at one point I thought they’d bring me comfort, heartbroken as I was, they didn’t, only tearing at me further. She’d betrayed me and yet I loved her still, wishing no ill will upon her ever. I moved forward my hands coming to hold her arms and kissed her forehead._

_“Goodbye, Emma.”_

_By some luck, my brother was outside then, heading into the car, but I felt his eyes on me as we drove away. The unspoken questions remained, ones I’d seen forming in Liam’s mind since I told him yesterday I was leaving, but he didn’t push me for answers. Instead we drove on and as he hummed along to the radio._

_I tried to push the world away but my head was full of thoughts of feelings of words. Reaching into the backseat I pulled out my notebook, the one I wrote everything down in only for realization to dawn on me. I was never going to be able to let Emma go. The only reason I was doing this, the only reason I even pursued writing in the first place was her. She’d given me this notebook and every other one I had, and possibly the cruelest twist of fate was that it was our story that got me into this blasted school at all._

_There on the first page staring back at me was the note Emma had written in this book when she gave it to me at the start of the summer._ ‘There is nothing you can’t do, nothing you can’t have, as long as you believe in yourself like I believe in you. Love, Emma’

_“Pull over.” I told Liam without so much as looking up._

_“What?”_

_“Pull over!” Liam heeded my request, pulling over to the shoulder on the side of the road and I stepped out of the car, feeling like I needed a sign, a signal or something to know I shouldn’t just turn back now. I could still fight for her, still make Emma love me as I loved her, and would always love her._

_“Killian, what the hell is going on?” I looked to my brother whose face held concern above all else. He was my family, the last of my family left and he loved me, but he couldn’t fix this. No one could fix this._

_I hadn’t been enough for Emma and yet I’d thought I could be. But how had I been so foolish, to think a girl like her could feel the way I felt. Why should I make her settle? Why should I fight for love when she deserved the kind you never questioned, the kind that never died? Staying and fighting for us was wrong if it meant she’d be unsatisfied. So I had to go, even though I hated to._

_“Nothing, it’s nothing. Sorry.” I got back in the car as did Liam and for a moment we sat there waiting in the silence until finally he spoke again._

_“You’re certain this is what you want?”_

No _, my mind immediately replied but I nodded all the same, watching the world roll by me as I moved forward into a life I knew would never be as beautiful as the one I left behind._

…………….

Today was a day unlike any other Emma had ever known. The things that she’d found, the truths from her past and her present were so much that all the swirling emotion still clung to her. She was so excited for everything to come, and still a little weepy from everything Killian’s chapter had exposed. She’d read it just now, at the end of her day and though she knew they were passed this, she’d still felt his sorrow. Every word pulled something from her and it would have been an impossible read if they weren’t this happy now.

But they were happy, happier than she’d ever thought they could be and Emma could hardly wait to tell Killian the good news. She had a plan in mind, she would make something for the two of them to eat and then thoroughly seduce her soon to be husband before telling him about the baby. That way she’d get to see the surprise in his piercing blue eyes as well as the heat she always wanted to feel between them.

There was only one problem, Killian it seemed had already planned an evening of his own, and as soon as she walked inside the house Emma was given a taste of what his night looked like. Moving through the front rooms and into the dining room, she found him waiting with a smile.

“Killian, what is all this?” Emma looked around the dining room, seeing the dinner before them.

Killian had gone all out for the evening, lighting candles, playing music, making her favorite things. It was beautiful and so incredibly thoughtful. She had to wonder for a moment if maybe he knew about the pregnancy. Then again she knew him well enough to know that he would never be able to hold back. Killian was going to be beyond happy at this next step.

“Exactly what it appears to be. A night in with my lovely fiancé spent celebrating that there’s only a week until you’re mine.” Emma stepped into his arms and smiled. 

“We’ve gone over this. I’m already yours.” Killian kissed her lightly. 

“Aye, love I know. And I am yours as I always will be, but after the chapter I gave you today and talking to my agent there was little I could think to want but a night with you.”

Emma nodded, understanding his concern. The chapter she’d read at work was a hard memory to relive, and difficult to see from his side too, but it was also important because where she’d seen that moment as an ending for so long, she now saw a pause.

Emma knew they would have been content if they never separated at all, but the feelings she had now were unique to the journey that they’d taken. Without him leaving, without all the misunderstanding, the story wouldn’t be exactly the same and they wouldn’t be the same people that they were now.

“Well I love it. And I love you.” Killian led her to the table and pulled out her chair, seeing to everything, but when he offered her a glass of wine and she refused she noticed his confusion. This was a bottle of her favorite red, and her turning it down was a notable anomaly.

“Is everything alright, love?” Killian asked and Emma nodded, deciding to just say screw it and to tell him now. Dinner would keep, right? It had to.

“I thought we were going to have a while before we had to have this conversation.” Emma knew that she should take pity on him, for she saw the bit of concern in his eyes growing, but still she lingered in a bit more quiet, wanting to savor this moment and this new memory.

“Emma, love, you’re killing me a little bit.” Killian’s hand came to hold hers and she exhaled before turning to him and smiling. 

“I’m pregnant.” With two words she’d completely knocked him over, and Emma watched the surprise turn to awe and then pure exhilaration in those blue of his. She was so caught up in his reaction, in the smile that spread across his face, that it was like finding out herself all over again. The same rush of excitement flooded through her but this time it was stronger, because Killian was here and he was with her in wanting this.

Emma watched him, unable to speak for a moment, and her hand came up to cup his cheek as he grappled with the words. When Killian’s senses returned he got up and pulled her into his arms, lifting her off the ground as he did. Emma laughed like she had so many times when they were kids and since they’d found each other again. Yes, this was exactly the kind of reaction she’d hoped for all day, and Emma knew it was precisely what they needed to combat the melancholy of the chapter he’d given her.

Before her giggle could even subside though, Killian’s mouth was on hers, kissing her passionately, working his way through every emotion with her, and it felt like pure magic. Too soon he pulled away, but his hands remained on her, holding her close like he’d never let go.

“You’re really pregnant?!” Emma nodded and could feel her eyes filling with tears at the tone of his voice. She watched as his eyes took on their own mistiness too, and she knew that he was feeling this beat for beat with her. Emma knew as soon as Killian had his bearings back, he’d be tossing more lovely words her way, lighting her up with each profession of always and forever.

“So you’re happy then, with this change in plan?” Emma asked reveling in the moment when Killian growled out a response and pulled her in for another kiss. The question had been of a rhetorical nature, because everything about him in this moment testified that he was glad, but Emma couldn’t help teasing him. She gathered she’d be making a habit of that even when they were old and gray years and years from now. 

“You’re always changing my plans, changing the way I see the world, Emma, but happiness is not the way I’d describe it. It’s too mundane a word for everything I feel right now.” His hand came to rest over her stomach and one of hers followed suit, holding it there. The little peanut in there was still so small, but soon enough, they’d have a new member of this family to throw a wrench in their plans as well.

“So what words would you use?” Emma asked and Killian shook his head.

“If I had them they’d be yours. But right now I’m without them. This is too much for even me to adequately articulate.” Emma grinned, liking that even when speechless, Killian still managed to say sweet things.

“That’s alright, words are kind of overrated, seeing as we could just have this.” Emma pulled him down for another kiss, purposely pushing him past his limits of control. She could feel the moment when his will to resist this anymore gave, and it filled her with a rush of adrenaline.

In one swift motion, Killian lifted Emma into his arms and climbed the stairs to the second floor. Emma felt her cheeks blush at the intimacy of his holding her like this, but he simply smiled at her as he made their way to their room, and she never felt safer or more secure as she did right here, on her way to celebrating one of the best things that had ever happened to her.

…………..

Making his way up the stairs with Emma in his arms, Killian was still wrapped in complete shock. They were expecting already, a child was on the way and he couldn’t think of anything more fantastic. All day he’d been worrying that his words would hurt Emma and yet she reminded him that they were past all that, so far past it that it held very little power anymore. They were living the future they wanted, and that fact set something off in Killian, something protective and desirous and entirely wrapped up in his Swan.

An undeniable urge overtook him, not only to remind her that she was his, but to show her just how pleased he was at her news. He was going to give his Emma a night of passion to rival all their past efforts, and he would not rest until she was satisfied. 

“That look means trouble.” Emma whispered just before he placed her down. Killian grinned as he reached to the buttons of her blouse and undid them with skillful motions.

“What look is that?” Emma groaned as her hands moved to strip his shirt away. Killian already knew that Emma would likely beg for fast and hard tonight, but there wasn’t a chance in hell he’d let that happen. He had every intention of remembering tonight forever and he was going to be damn certain that she did the same.

“The one that says you’re going to take things so slowly that you drive me actually crazy in the process.” He chuckled low at that watching her change tactics to stripping her own pants off instead.

“I’ll never lie to you, Emma, and so I can’t possibly contradict your assessment. I look forward to making this last _all_ night.” Pressing kisses to her lips down her jaw and to her neck, Killian nipped the spots that he knew got her flustered, letting her groan wash over him. It only heightened his need to see her more, and even if this was going to last a while, he wanted her bared to him and spread out on their bed. 

Killian made swift work of her under shirt and bra and moved his attention to her breasts. The keening sound she made when he sucked a nipple into his mouth was not unexpected, but Killian wondered if Emma was more sensitive than their usual awareness. It just reminded him all over again that she was pregnant with their child which had him demanding more, taking her pleasure in nips and sucks and kisses that thoroughly consumed her.

Emma’s frenzied panting and little sounds of sexual frustration sent more lust coursing through his veins but he denied himself any of her attentions, seeking only her gratification. When her moans turned to whimpers he took his queue to press onwards, reaching down passed the last bit of lace separating them. 

“I don’t know very much about pregnancy love, but I’ve heard rumors.” Emma’s eyes were on his, but he saw the haziness of desire in those green depths. She bit back a moan as he spread her legs further and circled her clit with the pad of his thumb.

“Oh, yeah? Anything interesting?” Emma’s voice ticked up at the end of the statement as Killian inserted one finger inside her sex. 

“You’ll be wanting more of me, more of this.” Emma looked like she might respond when Killian added another finger in as well, all while keeping her clit stimulated and soon she was crying out his name, inches from climax.

“Always. Want. You.” Killian grinned again, kissing her neck as he pushed her passed the last bits of tension and into climax. He made his way done her body with kisses again, hovering over her abdomen for a moment, dropping extra kisses to the very small part of them inside her now. 

Before she could fully recover, Killian kissed the inside of her thigh and felt her shiver of anticipation. He removed the last bit of fabric between them, and without hesitation pressed a kiss to her still sensitive flesh. He watched Emma take every suck and tease and stroke of his tongue within her. She was gone over him, completely wrapped up in the sensations, and he meticulously worked to get her flying high, just to pull back again. He did this over and over until finally Emma had enough.

“Did any of your rumors mention that denying the mother of your child is not the way to go?” Emma’s eyes brimmed with fire as she said the words and Killian felt his heart skip a beat.

Emma was glorious, even when clearly frustrated with him. He wanted to draw this out, to get the need inside of her so tightly wound up that when she did finally shatter it would be amazing, but Emma’s wants had to come first, Killian would always see to that. He pushed her over the edge, and then abandoned his slow and steady measures. He drew her climax out, and brought her to another leaving her finally spent and breathless on their bed. Only then did he strip away the rest of his clothes, ready to give in to what he wanted.

“Why do I have a feeling this is our new normal?” Emma asked, the breathiness between each syllable ringing as music to Killian’s ears.

“Ah, because it is, love. You are temptation itself, but carrying our child has somehow made me want you even more.” Emma smirked at that. 

“Good. Because I want you too.” Without further delay he gave his love what she wanted exactly the way she did, and eventually they came apart only to find comfort in lying side by side. 

As Killian held Emma in his arms, he traced shapes along the bare skin of her back. He should be exhausted, and he knew that Emma was, but still the feeling of joy remained. He was too excited to sleep or do much of anything but dream of everything still to come. 

“I wish we knew now if we’re having a girl or a boy. I feel like knowing will make it more real.” Killian kissed her forehead.

“How long until we can know for sure?” Emma sighed.

“A few weeks still. It’s really early.”

“Well maybe we’ll get lucky and have one of each.” Emma’s eyes widened at the thought of twins, but Killian didn’t see any distaste for the idea.

“I don’t know my family history, but do you guys have any twins in your family?” Killian shrugged, not having the slightest clue and Emma smiled. “That’s alright, I guess we’ll just know when we know.”

Killian took her hand, which rested above his heart and kissed it, gently.

“You have made me the happiest man that has ever lived, Emma. You did it by loving me, by choosing me, forgiving me. This is another gift in a sea of many, and I love you for it. I love you for everything you are.” He felt her smile against his chest.

“I love you just as much, Killian.” To believe that now and to know Emma meant each and every word was a blessing, one Killian would never overlook but would always cherish.

**_Post-Note: I just had to do it friends: I had to write a cute pregnancy reveal this week. And yes, my stories are often formulaic and the baby reveal happens after the wedding but this time it felt right. I mean have I ever written another story where Emma and Killian are both so ready to move forward? Probably not. Anyway, I hope you guys liked the chapter and appreciate all the lovely feedback I’ve been getting on this! It’s always so awesome to read your kind words! Have a lovely day and see you next time!_ **


	10. Chapter 10

**_A/N: All right friends, as you might have guessed, today wedding bells are ringing in ‘To See You This Way.’ It’s been too long since I’ve written a wedding and this one was a cute one to get to try my hand at. In a story about second chances and finding each other again, a wedding seems to hold just a little more importance. Expect my usual amount of fluff and the requisite bit of wedding smut too, but mostly just expect some much needed closure for Emma and Killian. This is not the last chapter of TSYTW, as I am envisioning two or three more, but it’s definitely the point we’ve been building to. Hope you all enjoy and thanks for reading!_ **

“You may just be the calmest bride in the history of… well, ever,”

Ruby’s words from across the room made Emma smile and turn away from the window where she was peering out to the set up below. She couldn’t see the aisle or the ceremony itself from this room, for all of that was in the back yard, but she was seeing people arrive and marveling at how many guests had shown up to what was originally supposed to be a _small_ wedding.

“What exactly were you expecting?” Emma asked and Ruby shrugged.

“You know, the usual. Pacing, some slight panic, maybe us holding you back from running straight to Killian and saying ‘I do’ before it’s actually time.” Emma laughed as did her other friends in the room.

“Sorry to disappoint.” Now Belle spoke up.

“Are you nervous at all?” Emma shook her head.

“Not even a little bit.” And that was the truth. Emma had everything she needed in this moment, and very soon she’d be getting married to the man she’d loved since she was just thirteen. No one got this lucky, and Emma knew that. Because of that, she had no hesitations or doubts at all.

“Well how could you be? You look too beautiful to be nervous.” Elsa’s compliment brought Emma’s attention back to the dress she’d chosen for today and she grinned again.

Emma had selected this dress specifically for its romantic quality. Its beautiful ivory color and the subtle lace that molded to her curves clung to Emma before billowing out into a wider skirt. The dress seemed grand, hailing back to weddings of old while still being light and new in its own way. Despite its appearance, Emma could move in it easily, which would be important since her husband had insisted on dancing with her all night, but more than that it felt right. She’d gotten a moment many hope for where she’d seen the dress and known it was meant for her, and that certainty leant a bit more sureness to today. 

Everything else had fallen into place behind the dress, to create an effect unlike anything Emma usually got to wear, but it was still her and it felt true to the moment that was coming. Emma could just picture the way Killian was going to look at her in a few minutes time when she walked down the aisle to him and her whole body heated at the thought. Her fiancé and soon to be husband was not subtle in his appreciation, and he’d wear his heart and his thoughts on his sleeve today as he did always.

“Have you got your vows all sorted? You wouldn’t want to be like Mary Margaret when she nearly forgot hers and had a minor heart attack,” Ruby asked, pulling an eye roll from Mary Margaret.

“Ha ha. Very funny, Ruby.”

Emma bit back another smile as she moved across the room to grab her bouquet for the ceremony. It was a wild mix, all of which could be found somewhere in Storybrooke naturally and she took in their sweet, fresh scent. They reminded her of springtime and good glimpses from the past, and though they’d all been imported from vendors to have them in the fall like this, Emma knew they were perfect for today.

This was a pretty informal affair all things considered, and Emma had been adamant that each of her friends kind enough to stand with her today would get to bring a part of themselves to the ceremony. All of them had chosen their dress and their flowers themselves, and the effect was vibrant and fun, which was all Emma wanted for today. The time for worry and restraint was long gone in her life, but she’d had Mary Margaret and Elsa to keep the ship in order. None of the colors clashed, and in the end Emma was more than pleased with the result.

“Emma?” Emma blinked away the musings about how things were already going so well to see Ruby and her friends looking at her expectantly and remembered the question about her vows.

“I didn’t write any.” 

“You didn’t write any?!” All of her friends asked at the exact same time and Emma shook her head.

“Nope. Anything I say and promise today I want to come from the heart. It doesn’t have to be perfect, and it’ll never compare to Killian’s way with words, but I’ll mean them and that’s enough for me.” Her friends chorused with a set of ‘ _awws’_ that made Emma sigh. This was a growing trend, and for someone who was rarely deemed the cute, emotionally available friend in the past, it was still something she was getting used to.

Before they could give the vow situation much more thought though, a knock sounded at the door and all the friends looked at Emma curiously, as if she somehow knew what was coming 

“You don’t think he’d come here do you?” Tiana asked, giddy at the prospect.

“With Killian, none of us will ever know,” Ruby replied, moving to the door and grinning. “Nope not the groom. Just my incredibly hot builder boyfriend.”

“Who comes bearing gifts for the bride. Or _a_ gift at least.” Emma moved swiftly across the room to take the box from Graham, which she recognized immediately as a chapter. She had no idea there were any left, but running her hand across the golden box Emma felt a heady rush of excitement.

“That’s all you’re bringing?” Ruby asked as she put a hand to her hip and Graham shook his head, kissing her surely before backing away, whispering something about picking back up their later. Emma missed most of it though, as transfixed as she was with the chance at more memories from Killian.

“Well go on, open it,” Belle said eagerly and Emma grinned, pulling the ribbon apart and revealing the final copy of Killian’s book. It was glorious, but a little strange to see what all his words would become. There was a marker though sticking out telling Emma to **_‘Read This.’_** When she found the chapter in question it was called ‘A Word On Dreams.’

“If you think there’s anyway you aren’t reading that out loud to all of us right now, you’ve got another thing coming,” Emma laughed at Tiana’s authoritative tone.

“Is that what you all want?”

“Yes!” Emma nodded and without further waiting, she read the excerpt in question.

_Every word I’ve written in this book had a purpose and everything I’ve shared has been for a single reason – to prove to you, Emma, that I love you._

_I love you, Emma Swan, and there has never been a day when I didn’t love you with my whole heart. Yet I have always known that words might never be enough and so I’ve set out a path, a means to make you see that everything I want is worth taking the risk - that_ I _am worth the risk on. Tomorrow I leave for home, I leave the life I’ve had here to find you again, and I set that plan in motion, only hoping it will be enough._

_I’ve been telling myself for years that I was too late, that I should have done more, and that I needed to move on. I told myself each and every day that I could do it, that I could find the happiness I wanted away from the woman who still held my heart, but it wasn’t the truth. Those words were merely an attempt to make a half-life whole when it never would be._

_But the thing about truth is it can be concealed in all places but in dreams, as I know well enough first hand. For years I’ve pretended, living each day going through the motions as if I was in any way passed the mistakes and the missteps of my history with you, Emma. And still every night you waited for me, as did my true feelings, the ones that would never waiver for they were already set in stone._

_Dark as times might have seemed while we’ve been apart, I have dreams for how my life with you will still turn out, dreams that never died even with the miles between us._

_There are all sorts of particulars, like the house you’ve loved since you were a girl with the old porch swing. We grow old in that house, you and I, and I tell you every day I love you more than the day before. There’s the dog you always wanted but never got to have when we were children, and a family of our own in whatever shape and size you want. You keep your practice, the one I know you built all on your own, and you remain the ever-incredible woman I know you to be. You heal people as you heal me every day, and you show our children what it means to be good and kind and perfectly yourself._

_Not every part of the dream is lovely. There’s the frantic pace of holidays and fatiguing work weeks and stress and troubles, but there’s always you and me, getting each other through it, your hand in mine keeping me grounded and helping me cope in the way only you ever have. In the dream I grant you the same steady sureness, the same sense of peace. We face each challenge side by side, the way we should have been all this time._

_But most of all, Emma, the focal point of this life is that you’re happy, and that is always the most important thing. Every day I spend with you, I strive to see you laugh and smile. You always know deep down that you’ll be safe with me. You know that everything I do, I do for you and for the life we’ve built, and you know I’m always grateful that you even let me try to make things right again. You’ve forgiven me because you’re you and because you are a miracle, my savior and my Swan._

_I don’t care how long it takes, my love. You will always be the only answer, the only dream that matters, and someday, no matter how far away that day might be, I will show you our truth. And on that day, when you say yes to me, it will be the start of a new adventure, one to shadow our dreams with its magic and its light. It will be the story of the ages about a girl and a boy who found each other even when all hope was lost._

Emma wiped away the tears that spilled down her cheeks quickly, thankful that she had forgiven Killian even if that had always been a certainty. Now they would get this dream together, the one they both shared in their hearts.

A loud bought of sniffling and some hiccupped breaths alerted Emma to the continuing response of her friends. To say they were all nearly hysterical would be rather accurate.

“I’m sorry, it’s just how do you not cry like a baby all the time?” Mary Margaret asked, wiping away more tears with a handkerchief. Emma smiled, the last of her tears slipping down as she straightened up a bit.

“A miracle?” Her friends laughed as Ruby’s phone started chirping.

“And that is our two minute warning. We have two minutes to pull it together.” Emma watched as all of her friends tried to do just that as she closed the book and placed it back in the box gently. 

Emma excused herself quickly, promising to be back in just a minute and moved from the rooms where they were to her bedroom. She placed the book in the same spot in her drawer where she’d put her sand dollars and smiled knowing it would be safe here. Emma didn’t know if or when she’d ever return to it, but it held in its binding her story with Killian, and so must always be protected.

“Ready Ems?” Belle asked, sticking her head in the door way and Emma nodded.

“Yeah, I’m ready.”

 …………….

_I must look an absolute wreck,_ Killian thought to himself where he stood awaiting Emma in the backyard. If his face portrayed even half the anxiety he was feeling he surely must look a mess and none of it made rational sense. He knew in his heart Emma was coming, she was just as in this as he was, but until she was here, until her hand was in his and she was agreeing to forever with her promise of _‘I do’_ he would know no comfort. He was half inclined to say to hell with all of this, but then he felt a hand come to his shoulder.

“Patience, brother. She’ll be here soon enough.” Killian turned to Liam, who was smiling like a fool, no doubt at the agitation Killian was carrying with him and Killian bristled while still remaining silent.

“Pretty sure if you had to wait to marry Elsa as long as Killian’s waited for Emma, you wouldn’t take too kindly to pleas for patience.” Killian hummed his agreement with David, his other groomsman standing up with him today. 

Truth was it felt like years between the time he stood at his spot at the head of the aisle and when the music began to play, but as soon as Killian heard the first notes of the violin playing the wedding march, his body seemed to find the first bit of reprieve. He’d been fending off the instinct to simply find Emma and sweep her away, but now there was no need. The moment was here, unfolding just before him.

Watching as each of Emma’s friends moved one by one towards him and to their spots to the side, Killian hardly knew what to do. He couldn’t breathe or think or speak, but when he saw Emma for the first time, dressed in her white gown, hair up and adorned with a white veil, he felt whole. Peace like he’d never known settled on him and the restlessness he’d been feeling as they waited to marry dissipated. All that remained was Emma, beautiful and breathtaking as she was.

Whenever he’d fantasized about this day, allowing himself the chance to imagine what it might be like, it had never compared to the Swan who walked towards him now. She was a vision, a light in a world of shadows, and she was his, or very soon would be. In the light of the fading day, Emma practically glowed and there was no arguing for Killian that the entire world revolved around her in this moment and in all the rest. How could anyone argue otherwise when faced with Emma and all she was?

Killian watched as her dress moved with her, hugging every inch of her skin in white lace. No one would ever know that she was expecting already, that they were going to be parents soon enough, but Killian did, and it only added to how beautiful she looked now. The flowers that she held were wild, a bouquet of every mix under the sun and the colors, vibrant and varied as they were shone like Emma did in his world. Without her, there was little in terms of beauty, but with Emma, the world was glorious.

As Killian took her in every step of the way, Emma did the same with him, never breaking her focus on him the entire time she walked towards him. The happiness in his love’s emerald eyes could not be denied in this moment, and by the time she’d made it, letting him take her hand to hold, Emma’s eyes were a little misty with unshed tears.

“I love you,” she said easily and Killian brought both of her hands up to kiss, completely ignoring the audience around them.

“As I love you, Emma.” She beamed at him, and through the grace of god the ceremony started.

The justice of the peace went through every part, the vows, the promises, the traditional words of affirmation without Emma or Killian needing to turn away. Through the whole affair, Emma was smiling at him in that soft and sweet way that came when she was completely and utterly sure of something, and he knew his responding look must be just as bright. He would never understand how he’d gotten so lucky, and he silently vowed to never _ever_ make Emma regret her decision to love him in return.

Finally, Emma and Killian were given their chance though, to say the things they still thought needed saying. For Killian, this moment was one he’d been looking forward to forever, for he’d constantly bombarded Emma with words and today he’d get a taste of more of hers. He wanted to know every thought in that beautiful mind of hers, and more of what she felt and knew and cherished would be said right now.

“Killian, as long as I have known you I have always been sure of one thing – you are the wordsmith and I am…well, not.” The audience around them laughed at that and Killian smiled, urging her onwards. “You have always known your heart, and when we are together you’ve taught me to do the same. I am who I am because I’ve known you and because I’ve loved you. I have the life I do and the happiness that fills it because of our love and I know I always will because you are my constant. 

“And no, you haven’t always been there holding my hand, but you were with me even when you weren’t, Killian, just like I was with you. When love is real, it doesn’t ever leave you, it stays and it waits until the time is right and then it blooms. Well now our time is right and the world is waiting for us, our future is waiting for us just to take the step. So don’t be afraid, because I know you. I know the man I love and he’s still holding on to the tiniest shred of doubt about who he is and what he’s worth.” Emma paused waiting for Killian to acknowledge that and he did with a subtle nod. 

“Let it go for me, give all that doubt to me and I will take it all away just like you’ve taken the bad in my life. I promise that when you do I won’t let you down because I love you Killian Jones, and I always will.”

Emma surprised him then and kissed him softly before pulling back, laughing at the fanfare her friends were sending their way in their moment. Killian, meanwhile tried to find his sense of balance in the face of such professions.

“Emma, sometimes I wish I didn’t have all the words I do, because I think that sometimes words get in the way. Like right now, where I’m trying to find my way around the immensity of my emotions and my hopes for the two of us. I’ve said I love you in a thousand ways, but you are the eloquent one amongst us. You live what you feel and your love and your faith in me is something I can breathe and taste and touch. I can never be in denial that I have you for you’ve given me everything, Emma. You teach me every day how to love you better through you’re example, and I am so grateful for that, because it’s all I’ll ever want.”

Killian’s hand came to push away a lock of golden hair that had come to fall before Emma’s face, looking into her bright green eyes as he did, holding a swirling blend of pure emotion that mirrored his own. He didn’t pull away, watching as Emma closed her eyes for the briefest moment, taking in his touch. He saw her finding her peace with him and it moved him, more than anything ever could.

“I promise my doubts are over, Emma. I swear right here and right now that the past is in the past. That chapter is done, the book is closed, but the story is not. We will never be over, Emma, we are a life in love and my heart is as much yours as it is mine. You carry all my hopes for our wonderful future with you and I will follow wherever you lead to see it through. I love you.”

“With that, I now pronounce you -,” The officient didn’t even get the words out before Emma and Killian were crashing into each other for a real, soul searing kiss. They neither of them needed permission, because for each of them, their fates were sealed. Emma and Killian were now forever tied together in love and matrimony and that was all either of them had ever wanted.

…………...

“Everyone’s finally gone,” Emma said happily as she stood by the front steps of their porch later that night, staring off at the last of their guests walking down the lane and leaving her and Killian blissfully alone.

Not to say they hadn’t had a beautiful evening, because they had, a spectacular one even. It had been the perfect wedding but that was more to do with who she’d married than the catering or the first dance song or the gifts. Emma had been walking around on cloud nine all day and it was entirely thanks to her doting husband who was all smiles and heat and promises of pleasing her one everyone had gone.

“Well it certainly took them long enough.” Killian said, lifting Emma into his arms swiftly, and pulling a surprised yelp from her as he did which promptly turned into a giggle as she looked into her husband’s eyes.

“I should have known you’d be old fashioned. Carrying me over the threshold even when we’ve technically been living in sin for a while now.” Emma ran her hand across Killian’s jaw, feeling the subtle roughness of his beard against her hand and the upturn of his lips when he smiled.

“There certainly has been some sinfulness involved love, but you have loved every second of it.” Oh boy had she ever. Just the thought of all the ways they’d loved each other over the past few months set Emma’s toes curling.

“Always. But now that you’ve made an honest woman out of me, I think I need reminding why I got into your bed before saying ‘I do’ in the first place.” Killian growled out his intention to do just that, moving up the steps only to stall for a minute at the door. 

“Didn’t think this part through did you, Captain?” Emma teased as she reached for the door herself and Killian shook his head.

“I can hardly think of anything but making love to my _wife_ from now until forever.”

“Good to know that we’re in agreement, because I fully intend to drive my husband crazy for the rest of our lives.” Emma ran her fingers lightly down Killian’s neck and he groaned.

“Just let me get you to bed, love. Then you can have your wicked way with me.” Emma chuckled at the prospect.

“Well if you insist.”

Soon enough they were in their room and Killian tenderly placed Emma back on her feet, dropping a kiss to her lips lightly that Emma wanted no part of. They’d had subtle, gentle caresses all night long. Now was time for action, for raw sensual lust and love blended together. It was time to completely lose herself in Killian and not find her way back to herself for a few days at least.

“God, Emma, how you tempt me.” Emma smiled at Killian’s praise as she turned around in his arms, bearing her back and the buttons on her dress to him. With shaky hands he undid them, and Emma felt her own need rising in the face of his overwhelming desire. He loved her so much and in his vows he’d claimed that she was the one who always showed it, when he did just the same.

When enough of the buttons had been undone Emma stepped away from Killian, inching the dress off of her until it pooled at her feet and she had a second, maybe two before Killian was moving towards her, hunger radiating from him. Turned out the white lace she’d worn to match her dress underneath was a hit.

“Stop right there.” Killian’s brow furrowed, but he listened to her, stilling where he was just before holding her.

“Swan?” Emma smiled, moving forward to put her hands on him an unbuttoning his shirt. He’d lost the jacket and the tie earlier in the evening, but she was not interested in one of his slow seductions where he saw only to her. They were going to be in this together, at least this first time.

“I want a good look at what I’ve just saddled myself to for the rest of my life.” Emma felt the vibration of Killian’s hum of approval through the fabric, but with each inch of skin that she exposed it was Emma who felt the effects of infatuation. Her husband was hot and she was going to be _very_ happy loving on him and calling hers each and every day.

“Like what you see, my love?” Emma nodded, letting her hands linger on his now shirtless body.

“My _husband_ is devilishly handsome.” Killian bent down to kiss her, taking her by surprise, but Emma tried to keep some semblance of her wits about her, undoing his pants and pushing them away as best she could. When that was done though, Killian was finished with letting her lead, back to wanting her with insatiable need.

Emma slid her fingers through his hair at the nape of his neck, pulling him closer for the kiss as his body molded fully against her. She felt every hard contour of his body against hers, and moved backwards until her back touched the wall. Then Killian was boxing her in, hands roaming leaving trails of desire behind them.

“And my _wife_ is everything.”

Emma felt herself melting into his touch and suddenly wished she’d been a little more thorough in getting rid of her own clothes as she had been with Killian’s. The way he was tracing underneath her bra now was driving her a little mad. He seemed to know though, that she was never going to survive languid measures, and so he unclasped the offending garment tossing it aside.

“Are you going to just look all evening, or…?” Emma squealed as he moved closer to her in an instant. He growled low as he ran his hands across her body first paying attention to her now exposed breasts, which made Emma moan aloud. She was getting exactly what she wanted thanks to her challenge, and as he traced and sucked and kissed every part of her Emma thought of other ways to push him faster.

Emma needn’t have worried though because during all of these attentions, one of his hands moved between her legs. When Killian’s fingers pushing past the barely there panties she’d been wearing under her dress, she sighed as she leaned her head back against the wall and opened her legs wider so he’d have better access to her. Killian grinned and brought his mouth back up to whisper in her ear.

“Still questioning what I can provide for you, my love?” She groaned as he added a bit of pressure to her clit and inserted a second finger into her waiting heat. Emma tried to answer, but found the words wouldn’t come. After all the back and forth and the tension and emotion from today, Emma came quickly, reveling in the pleasure only this man could ever give her.

“Maybe just a little.” Emma said, when she blinked back up at him. He knew she was teasing, the evidence of his effect on her was fairly damning to say the least but still he fed into this with her.

“I’m going to spend all night showing you Emma. Over and over and over again.” Emma’s hands tightened on his biceps, trying to steady herself.

“Will any of that include actually taking me to bed?” Killian twirled her back around to their bed, seating her on the edge and kneeling before her. He stripped away the last of the lace between them as Emma fought to catch her breath.

“Does that answer your question, Swan?”

“Killian!” Killian moved her legs apart, looking at her exposed flesh hungrily before he set his mouth at her waiting sex.

Gone were any thoughts she had at all about anything but the expert skill of Killian’s mouth. He had her writhing with pleasure underneath his tongue. Emma grasped at the blankets on the bed for some kind of purchase but when Killian saw that it only spurned him on more. He was nipping and sucking at just the right beats to have her mindless but he’d pull back every time she got too close until finally he pushed her over, throwing her into the grips of another crushing climax. As Emma came back to herself though, Killian kissed her lips gently.

“It’s hard to know at what point you are most beautiful, love. But watching you fall apart like that for me is a top contender.” Emma ran a hand across his jaw and smiled at that. He had every right to be cocky in this moment because he was so damn good at making her come over and over. 

Emma moved back into the bed some more away from the side and Killian followed, but she knew she had him at one point and used it to her advantage pushing him back down to come above him. Suddenly, taking him wasn’t the most important thing on her to-do list. Emma wanted to get even and make Killian see that as much as he loved ramping up her need for him, she loved doing the same for him.

“ _Fuck_ , Emma. I’m too far gone as it is,” Killian said when she ran her hand down to grip his hard length. She could see he was being honest as he strained to rein himself in.

“Do you trust me?” Killian jerked a nod and Emma smiled, pressing one last kiss to his lips, before setting her sights on driving him right to the edge. When she had him there she came over him, unable to hold back any longer and lowered herself on his cock.

“You always feel so perfect, love.” Killian said and Emma knew exactly what he meant, but then his hand came to run against her stomach and she saw what he was doing. He’d been doing this all the time since finding out she was pregnant. Killian was reminding himself that all of this was real and that soon the next chapter would be here. He was so in awe of her and this child and she was so in awe of him.

They came together over and over until finally finding their release, and when it happened, Emma was immediately wrapped up in her favorite place, the safety of Killian’s arms where nothing and no one could touch her.

“I think I have a pretty good ending line for this story,” Emma said softly, pulling a smile to Killian’s lips.

“Aye? And what would it be?” Emma nestled in closer, closing her eyes for just a moment. 

“And they lived happily ever after.”

**_Post-Note: So full disclosure, I actually got teary eyed as I wrote parts of this chapter way back when, especially Killian’s words this go around. Now don’t ask me why, since arguably there’s been angstier or more beautiful sentiments before in this AU, but like I said before, this feels like a resolution, a final chapter in their past once and for all. There will be more TSYTW cuteness coming in the form of honeymoons and babies, though only a few more chapters. Anyway, I hope that you all enjoyed this installment, and I truly appreciate all the lovely support you’ve given me through this journey. Until next time!_ **


	11. Chapter 11

**_A/N: Hello all. Here is a smaller chapter (and the final one before the epilogue). Wanted to include it because I couldn't deny adding as much fluff to this as possible.  Thanks for reading and hope you enjoy!_ **

The past three weeks of Emma’s life had been some of the best she’d ever experienced. After saying _‘I do’_ to Killian, and spending their one night at home in the sacred space they were starting their future, they’d set off on what was easily the most romantic honeymoon ever.

It was filled with every good thing a honeymoon required – passion, adventure, newness, and still the comfort of that one special person that you truly belonged with. Emma had that in Killian and everything else, all the wonder and surprise that awaited her after that, was simply icing on the cake.

All Emma knew before their leaving was the basics. She would need to take a month off of work so they could spend three weeks in Europe and one week back at home without worrying about anything else. From there, it was all a surprise, planned out by Killian as one final wedding present to Emma. 

It might seem slightly excessive to be gone so long on a honeymoon, but when Emma considered that she’d never given herself a real vacation of any kind since she opened her practice’s doors, she felt better. Besides, when was she ever going to have the chance to do something like this again? The answer was likely never.

So Emma found a temporary physician to take her place at the clinic. When she’d found a suitable candidate, Emma informed Tiana that despite not having her MD, Tiana was in charge. She knew their patients and Storybrooke better than any outsider ever could, and more than that Emma trusted her. Tiana was more than up to the task, and a few times during their weeks away, Emma got periodic updates from her friend. Things were going well, even if everyone missed Emma while she was gone.

Emma missed her friends back home too, but it was hard to be too heartbroken over it when she was traveling through Europe (a place she’d never been before) with her ridiculously handsome and ever thoughtful husband. England, Italy, France, Spain: Emma had seen so much and explored places she never thought she’d get to see all while being with Killian. The food, the art, the cultures, and the people were so varied but Killian was her constant, making her laugh and smile and feel good the whole trip. It was perfect and romantic, and exactly what they needed after everything they’d been through.

Now they were stateside again, in New York for just two days to get to this – Killian’s one agreed to interview for the impending book.

They were only a few days away from the global release of _A Life in Love_ , and Emma was excited. Even if it was kind of a personal thing, this telling of their story was something Killian had worked so hard on. There wasn’t a word in that book that he hadn’t chosen with precision and written with love and hope, and Killian should be rewarded for that not just by having Emma’s love in return, but also a little bit of appreciation from everyone else as well.

Emma had no doubt that Killian’s book was going to be a hit and that people would be talking of it for a very long time, but the sooner he did this interview the sooner they could run back to their little bubble on the coast of Maine. Once there, they might have the chance at normal again, or at least the normalcy that life would allow given this next step already starting on their journey. Adding to their family was going to make everything else seem tame – this would truly be their surest test and their greatest adventure, and Emma could hardly wait.

And Emma actually had some updates on that front for Killian that she’d procured only this morning. She’d claimed she was sharing breakfast with an old friend from med school, which was true, but Emma casually left out that her old friend was one of the top OBGYNs in the country and that she’d given Emma some news that was going to change everything. As soon as this was over, and the two of them found another quiet moment, Emma had every intention of savoring his delighted reaction to this new detail and spending the last week of this honeymoon completely wrapped up in him.

Until then, Emma waited in the wings as Killian took his spot on the stage of the talk show he was appearing on. Emma knew Killian wasn’t nervous for this at all, having done this a time or two before for past books, but she had to wonder how that could be. If it were here out on that stage, Emma would be a wreck. As it was she could feel herself shaking a little just from nerves for Killian. 

“I’m joined now by Killian Jones, a world renowned author who after years of writing suspense stories that kept us all on the edge of our seats veered to a romantic memoir of sorts. His book, titled _A Life in Love_ , has been number one on the best sellers list for three weeks, just from pre-sales and will be in stores this week. Killian, it’s good to have you here with us.”

Emma watched as Killian nodded and thanked the host for having him. She smiled at the fact that he didn’t say it was good to be here too. Emma knew he was rather grumpy over the fact that he’d had to come at all, but it was for the best. The book needed some promo even if it wasn’t very much, and this show was an easy enough way to get mass exposure in one simple interview. 

“I think I’ll start with the most obvious question – why write this book at all?” Killian scratched behind his ear and Emma knew he was a little uncomfortable, but he pressed through, answering with that same easy charm he spoke with regularly.

Killian had his host and the audience completely wrapped around his finger as he talked of his and Emma’s second chance and his not knowing any other way to say he was truly sorry. Through it all, Killian was so complimentary of her, and more than once Emma felt the eyes of the show’s production team on her as she waited off the side of the stage for Killian. The awe and envy were palpable as Killian continued to go on and on, but Emma didn’t mind. At the end of the day he was hers, and he always would be.

“So I have to ask, because readers and fans alike are curious – did it all work out in the end? Did the guy get the girl and the happily ever after?” Killian took that moment to look away from the host, and caught Emma’s eye where she stood. His brilliant smile made her heart warm considerably. 

“Aye it did. In the end it all turned out better than I ever dared to hope.” 

“So the two of you really found each other again after all those years apart?” Killian nodded.

“Yes. We found a way. Love always finds a way.”

As Killian said the words, the screen behind him switched from a picture of the book’s cover to one of Emma and Killian on their wedding day. They’d both been asked if it was okay before the interview, and Emma felt it a far better thing to share than getting out on that stage herself. Still the crowd’s incredibly excited reaction was surprising. So many people cared about how it ended up, and the book wasn’t even out yet. It was amazing.

“Well we are wishing you and the new Mrs. – excuse me – _Doctor_ Jones all the best.” The host went on to introduce the show’s next segment and when they cut to commercial, Killian came over to see Emma and hold her once more.

“I can’t even tell you how glad I am that’s over.” Emma laughed. 

“Really? I was kind of thinking you should do a dozen more while we’re here.” Killian groaned at the thought putting a triumphant grin on Emma’s face.

“You joke, Swan. But I know you’ll be glad to be home.” Emma nodded. 

“I will be. But we still have one more day right?”

“Aye, love, and I have an idea of how to spend it. Do you trust me?”

“Always,” she said without hesitation and Killian pressed a gentle kiss to her lips before leading her out and away into one last little honeymoon adventure.

………….. 

When Killian told Emma that he had one final endeavor up his sleeve for the end of this holiday away from their home, he knew Emma had no idea where the day was heading. But Killian had chosen New York for a reason instead of opting for some place with warmer weather like LA for this one interview. It had been important to Killian that there was something familiar for them even if this wasn’t truly home.

Back in high school they’d gone a class trip, one long weekend where students had the chance to go to New York City. Killian and Emma spent the whole of their time together, or as much as could be managed on a school sanctioned outing. The trip included the usual touristy things, like Times Square and the Statue of Liberty, but the best part had been Central Park. Emma loved it better than any other place, but on that trip she’d been denied one of the attractions she wanted to try. Killian was keen on righting that past wrong now and giving her the experience she’d been denied for too long.

Only when they reached the boathouse in the middle of the park did Emma start to piece together his intentions for the rest of their afternoon, and when she did there was pure excitement in her bright green eyes.

He’d seen that look a hundred times over the past three weeks while they’d been traveling. In every moment, Killian thanked God that the two of them had this chance to see all these things and experience all these firsts together. Through everything, Emma held his hand in hers, and he could feel the waves of trust that moved between them. They’d come so far to get here, and Killian still found himself wondering how he’d gotten this lucky.

“You remembered,” Emma said with happy tears pooling in her eyes as she squeezed his hand tighter. Killian pulled her into his arms, wanting to hold her close even if just for a moment.

“I remembered everything else, didn’t I?” Emma laughed before nodding.

They moved to the attendant, disregarding the sign that said there were no available rentals and when Killian gave his name, the man immediately moved to show them to the last boat. It hadn’t been easy, but through enough bribery and a little bit of luck, Killian had managed to put this on hold for them when most rentals had been booked since the early morning light. Seeing Emma’s excitement made it all more than worth the effort.

It wasn’t much of a pond in truth, and the sailing back in Storybrooke or even on the lakes near them would probably be more fun from an actual shipman’s perspective, but for Emma it seemed to be enough. With the last of the fall foliage around them, and the gentle breeze casting upon the water, it was a good moment, a brilliant one even, that Killian was happy to have.

“I can’t believe we’re doing this.” Killian brought the oars to this little rowboat back inside and took Emma’s hand in his again.

“You like it then, Swan?” Emma nodded before sitting forward and kissing him. It was for the best that she pulled back quickly, because Killian was about a breath away from fully pulling her into his arms, and forgetting they were on a rickety little boat in the middle of water.

“I love it.” Killian watched Emma as she took in everything around them, laughing at the other tourists making a mess of things around the pond, and sighing happily as she saw an older couple out there on the water together.

“That will be us some day, love.” Emma smiled back at Killian looking positively radiant with the happiness she felt.

“You say the sweetest things to me.”

“Just trying to make sure you always stay with me.”

“Like there’s even any doubt of that at this point.”

Killian brushed a tendril of her hair that had come out from the wind back around her ear and Emma’s eyes widened slightly. Killian knew as they did that he would never get over her reactions and how amazing it felt that Emma wanted him so much, and loved him as much as he loved her.

“You know, you’re not the only one with surprises today.” Killian watched as Emma pulled an envelope addressed to him from her bag and handed it his way.

“A letter, Swan?” She smiled.

“Technically it’s a really cheesy story, with probably every other word misspelled, but you’re always saying how much you love my take on things. I thought I’d give you just a little more.” Killian raised her hand to his lips to kiss and Emma paused. “On second thought, we should probably be on land for this.” 

Killian didn’t really gather what she meant, but Emma took the oars into her own hands and waved him away, preemptively telling him that it was perfectly safe even though she was pregnant. 

“You read and I’ll row.”

“Aye, aye, Captain.” Emma rolled her eyes even as she laughed and Killian allowed himself to open up the envelope and devour all of her words.

_Once upon a time there was a girl, an ordinary girl, who was waiting. She was waiting for change, waiting for meaning, waiting to know that she belonged beyond the shadow of a doubt. She sought that comfort, walking the world in the hopes that someday she would find what was always missing and then she did. One day at the end of a beautiful but lonely summer, she found it in bright blue eyes of a boy she didn’t even know._

“I found everything with you too, love. And you are anything but ordinary.” Emma smiled at his words but urged him on.

“Keep reading.”

_The boy was unexpected, different in a way that she couldn’t understand, but over time the girl realized that the thing that made him unique was that she loved him. That love was instant, and it sparked a sense of recognition that her young heart couldn’t comprehend until she had a little time. Years passed and the love only grew, until she found that he loved her too. The feelings that such a love brought were more vibrant and more beautiful than anything she’d ever known._

“I love you too, Emma.”

“Killian.”

He could hear the humor in her voice even as she chastised him.

“Right, reading.”

_Things got in the way of their love for a while, and there was a time too long for either of their liking when the boy and the girl were apart. But all of that time was worth it, for their story, even when they were away from one another, was far from over. They found their way again back to each other, and the love was even stronger, even brighter than it had ever been before._

_The boy and the girl were happy and they continued to build a life that would make sure they stayed that was forever. They were married, and found that they were expecting, and every wish the girl had ever made was coming true._

“Alright time to get out of the boat,” Emma said, pulling Killian from his silent reading as she did so. He heeded her request, getting himself on the wooden planks of the landing point safely before continuing on.

_But even that was not enough, for the girl and the boy had more love between them than any one child could bear alone. So they were blessed with two, both healthy and growing and destined for a life where they would always know right where they belonged._

“What?!” Killian practically yelled from his shock.

“Surprise,” Emma said, a hopeful look of anticipation on her face as she did.

“But how did you – I mean when did you – _twins_?” Emma grinned, running her hand along his chest as she beamed up at him.

“I found out this morning.”

“You did? When? How? Emma -,”

Emma pulled Killian down then by the collar of his jacket and in for a kiss, and in that instant, Killian felt all the magic of this moment. Emma’s little story was one of fairytales, written in the basic language of happily ever afters, but it was true. Somehow this was their life, and Killian could not contain his happiness.

“I think you might be slightly psychic, but I can’t say for sure, because it’s still too early to know if we’re having one of each.”

“It doesn’t matter, love. All that matters is that I love them and I love you, more than anything.”

“I love you too.”

They shared another kiss, and suddenly Killian realized that even though it was lovely, and another memory in a life filled with many others just as magical, this wasn’t where he wanted to be, not now, not when there was so much good coming their way.

“Emma, I know perhaps you’re wanting to stay another night but…” He trailed off, trying to find the words but his lovely wife found them first.

“Let’s go home, Killian.” He grinned, taking her hand in his once more.

“As you wish.”

**_Post-Note: I think my brain subconsciously thought that if I wrote a million stories (okay so actually like four of ten multi-chapters I have written) where Emma and Killian have twins, then it would have happened on the show. Now rationally I knew that couldn't be true – but come on. It would just be so perfect. Frazzled Emma and Killian trying to handle two babies at once? It’s too cute a scenario for me not to want to write. Plus I had Killian saying maybe they would have twins a few chapters ago, so it needed to happen. Anyway, thanks so much for reading this shorter installment!_ **


	12. Chapter 12

**_A/N: Somehow it’s that time again, when a story I have been enjoying for a while is coming to a close. I can’t really wrap my mind around it, but I do know that I’m ending this the only way I know how – with fluff and love and a CS happy ending to boot. When I asked you all for your dreams for this fic, I got the same answer from all the lovely people who responded: give us a flash forward look into Killian and Emma’s life so we can see they’re really happy. That’s what this epilogue is through and through. Thanks for reading, and I hope you enjoy._ **

_6 months later_

“Another chapter, my love?” Killian posed the question while he and Emma sat curled up together on the couch where they’d been all evening enjoying the closeness and the comfort that the other provided.

It was a tempting offer and one Emma had gotten the chance to indulge in more and more as the months in her pregnancy went on. How they’d started this routine of Killian reading to her before she went to sleep Emma didn’t know but she loved it, always feeling the warmth and indulgence of every word so much more when Killian was the one sharing it with her.

She looked up to meet his eyes and in those deep blue orbs she saw so much; there was hope, happiness, contentment, all of which she felt too. It didn’t matter that she was so ridiculously pregnant and as large as a whale in her mind, Emma felt lighter than air when they got to just curl up like this getting lost in a story. It also didn’t hurt that her husband had a sexy as sin accent that lilted over every word in the most pleasing way.

“Definitely. Just give me one second.”

Emma got up off of the couch with Killian fussing over her as she waved him away. He was so good to her with his patience and protectiveness, but she was growing used to this state of being. No sudden movements or wide turns had become her new M.O. and she could go grab a glass of water without falling apart.

Unexpectedly though, Emma stepped into the kitchen and felt a sudden cramp – no it was way more than a cramp it was her sign that it was time for these two little peanuts inside her to finally come out.

“Killian?” Emma called from the kitchen and in a second he was up and in there with her.

“Yes, love?”

“It’s time.” 

“It’s – I mean it’s – time – now – right now?”

The bumbling words were said with a mix of terror and elation. Emma could feel the energy rolling off of him and watched as his hand moved through his hair messing it up entirely in that way she loved.

Emma gazed upon her Killian with a smile as he continued to lose it just a little bit. Finally she decided it was best to step in and remind him that they were in this together and that they could do this. She took his hand and loved the way his fingers automatically interlaced with hers.

“Killian, look at me.” Killian immediately complied with Emma’s request and she squeezed his hand that she held tighter. “I love you.”

In a second the lines of tension on her husband’s face lessened. There he was again, her favorite person, her one true love, looking at her like he was ready even if he was terrified.

“It’s really happening Emma. We’re going to have everything.” Emma smiled. 

“We are. But to get it you’re going to have to drive us to the hospital.” Killian looked alarmed again but composed himself as Emma laughed. It turned slightly into a groan as another contraction hit, but there was no need to reassure him. Killian was on autopilot now, determined to get her to the doctor and a state where the pain would end.

They made record time to the hospital, and Emma wished the birth would have been the same way, but twins meant twice the work and a slow go of things. All of it was worth it in the end though when they started the next day with two new healthy, happy bundles of joy.

Emma knew that she should be thoroughly exhausted. She’d been through a lot to get her son and daughter here with her and Killian where they belonged, but sleep wouldn’t come not when she could hold her children instead. She and Killian were both lying together on her hospital bed quietly wrapped together as they each held a baby in their arms.

“We have made perfection, love. It’s as simple as that.” Emma chuckled at Killian’s praise.

She wondered if he’d still be saying that when these two currently calm infants were going through spotty sleep cycles or teething, but she had a hunch that he would. Emma had never seen Killian express any sort of love that mirrored the strength of the one he had for her until now. When he first held their son and daughter Killian was at a loss for words, and all his hope and awe were written on his face. It was another moment Emma knew she had to remember forever. Happiness like this needed to be cherished always.

“I don’t think I can argue with that logic.”

As she said the words, Emma watched her daughter who they’d just named Leia (slightly in honor of Liam and his bringing Emma and Killian together after so many years and slightly because of their shared nerdiness), yawn in Killian’s arms. Her tiny little hand clung to the cotton of his shirt, pulling at Emma’s heartstrings even as she daintily pulled at the fabric.

Their son Ryder meanwhile was all wide-eyed attention even being so new to the world. Emma couldn’t tell right now exactly what he’d look like, but based on the swirling shades of green and blue that she could already see in his eyes, she expected he might be a complete mix of his mother and father. The thought made her smile and she watched as Ryder’s face mirrored it slightly. Of course he had no real idea what he was doing, but Emma knew from the pang of joy that came that her new mission in life was to make sure her kids were always smiling, at least as much as they could.

“They do something that until now only you have achieved, love.” Emma looked at Killian again.

“And what’s that?”

“They render my words not enough.” Emma felt her heart warm at how much Killian already loved their kids and she knew it was time for the little bit of a surprise she’d thought out earlier.

“I might have the answer to that. I packed something I thought we might like in the bag. It’s in the front pocket.”

Killian looked curiously at her before gently moving with Leia still in his arms to find what it was. When he pulled out Emma’s copy of _A Life in Love_ he smiled.

“I think our story should be the first one they hear. Don’t you?” Killian nodded, pressing a kiss to Emma’s temple as he moved back into his seat. With just a little maneuvering Killian got himself together, and Emma took up her spot as page-turner.

“To the savior next door – you’re nothing less than a miracle and I love you.”

“Hey! That wasn’t how it went.” Killian chuckled, correcting the dedication and then delving into the story, solidifying one of Emma’s best days in her whole life in the process.

…………….

_2 years after that_

“Daddy, up!”

Killian looked down to his daughter Leia and smiled at her wide green eyes and sincere demand. Her soft golden curls were lighter than Emma’s looked now, but Killian knew that someday she’d be the spitting image of his Swan. He was going to have to fend off too many suitors for his sanity, but he hoped by then Ryder would be more interested in defending Leia too instead of making his toy trucks crash together as he was now.

Though Killian was currently dressed up for an evening out, he had no actual want to go tonight. Unfortunately he had no choice. _A Life In Love_ hadn’t just shattered records on the best-sellers list, it had been optioned for a movie and that movie was now premiering. He and Emma were going to that premiere (which was luckily being held in Boston and not across the bloody country) but it meant a night away from his kids and he didn’t like that one bit.

“She’s going to ruin your suit, man.”

Killian looked over to Graham who was sitting beside Ryder at the point, taking the basic orders from his son about which trucks he wanted. He and Ruby were babysitting tonight and though Killian trusted them, the unease still remained.

“Daddy, kiss!” Leia pressed a sloppy wet kiss on Killian’s cheek as Killian smiled and returned her sign of affection with a kiss of his own.

“Aye, she might, but it will be worth it." 

Graham smiled at the display as Ruby came into the room brandishing two baby food containers. The twins were past that stage of eating, so she must have dug it out back in the pantry. Killian wondered by her wrinkled up nose if it was the expiration date that was giving her such pause.

“Who in their right mind would mix tomato, carrots, and apple? Or mango, blueberry, turnip? I mean really it just sounds gross.” Killian chuckled.

“You two will have to adjust to that. It’s not all applesauce and string beans. There’s some interesting variety to be had.” Ruby gave a dramatic shiver at the thought.

“No kid of mine is eating this, that’s all I know.”

“Talk to me a year from now. You’ll see how soon your tune changes when a six month old can’t talk and hates peas.” Ruby cracked a smile. She seemed about to say more when they all heard movement from the doorway.

“You know if we don’t make our getaway now we never will.”

Killian glanced over to see Emma standing there, looking more gorgeous than he could ever articulate. Dressed in in a red evening gown that conformed perfectly to her every curve, and smiling at him in that way that said she knew the effect she had on him, Emma stole his breath away. One second he’d been thinking of baby food and the hustle and bustle of having their kids and now the whole world was Emma.

All of Killian’s desire to stay home increased a hundred times in the face of his lovely wife and he didn’t just want to be with his family, he wanted to strip that dress of his wife and spend the night after the twins were in bed ravishing her fully. When a flush crept up her neck and across her cheeks, Killian knew Emma was aware of the nature of his thoughts. If given enough time, he also knew he could convince her to give him exactly what she wanted.

“Wow Emma, you are one hot Mama.” Emma rolled her eyes, but at the mention of ‘mama’ both Leia and Ryder looked up to find Emma. In that unsteady way of a two year old Ryder got up and ran over to her as Leia leaned in Killian’s arms to go to her too.

“Mommy!” Both of their children were so excited to see Emma though she’d only been upstairs getting ready for under an hour. One would have thought it was a year by how much excitement Ryder and Leia got.

“Hey there big guy.”

Emma lifted Ryder up and pressed a kiss to his forehead that made their son giggle before he hugged around her neck tight. At the same time Killian moved forward so Leia could get in on the action. When their daughter had her kiss though, Leia went right for Emma’s hair as she usually did.

“And this is why I didn’t bother putting it up tonight.” Emma said the words with humor as her green eyes caught Killian’s and she moved closer so they could share a quick kiss themselves.

“Alright you two are slightly gross in the cuteness levels. I mean really, hasn’t anyone ever told you that you look too happy?” Emma laughed at Ruby’s censure.

“We deserve every bit of it,” Killian said resolutely as Emma shook her head.

“Don’t let my husband fool you. He is absolutely miserable that we are leaving tonight, aren’t you, Killian?” He mumbled that he was and Emma smiled. “So even though I told you we’d be back at one or two, it’ll probably be more like midnight. If we even get out of Storybrooke that is.”

“Oh you have to go! We need the practice, and denying us the chance is like denying my baby. As her future godmother you would never do such a thing, would you?” Emma shook her head.

“Nah, we’re going. Now, you two are going to be good for Auntie Ruby and Uncle Graham right?” The twins looked at Emma with a little confusion but ultimately nodded she gave them one more kiss and Killian made his goodbyes too before setting them both back down to play with Graham and Ruby.

Emma took Killian’s hand in hers as they watched after their kids who were both happy and smiling and she whispered to him lightly.

“It’s just a few hours and then we’ll be back. Promise.”

Killian looked over to Emma and nodded before they turned to leave the house. With the door closed behind them, Killian felt the cool breeze of the night and immediately looked to Emma. She would be chilled in that dress, but she had a wrap to wear that Killian easily took from her. 

“Allow me, love.” Emma shivered against him and he knew it had nothing to do with the cold and everything to do with the electricity that never stopped surging between them.

“I didn’t get to say it before, but you look very handsome in that tux, Mr. Jones.” Killian grinned at Emma’s casual flirtation. He could hear the breathiness in her voice, but she still would banter with him.

“I’m glad you approve love. And since you’ll have the honor of getting me out of this tux later, I give you leave to admire it all night long.” Emma laughed at his cockiness and Killian pulled her closer before kissing her right there on the porch.

“ _Mmm_ , Killian we’re going to be late if you keep me out here all night with kisses.” Killian knew he could argue that he would be all too glad to do just that, but they’d made the commitment and this movie was going to pay for the twins and any other future children to go to college. They should at least make some sort of appearance.

“We’ll continue this later then.” Emma smiled.

“I would hope so. We’re not going to give Leia that baby brother or sister she wants if we don’t.”

There it was, she’d done it, pushing the button that would keep them from leaving. Killian had absolutely no want to depart from their home when they could make good on that particular promise but Emma took off down the porch and Killian was shocked at her speed given the heels she wore. 

“The sooner we get there the sooner we can leave.”

It was the only line of logic that got Killian into that car and driving to the movie at all, and in the end Killian and Emma slipped out half way through. It was a beautiful story, well acted and well written but it wasn’t really theirs, and the parts that were only made both of them want to add to the life they had.

A few months later, when everyone was still raving about the film and the story and the love affair that inspired it all, Emma and Killian were celebrating something all the more exciting – another child that they would get to meet very soon who they’d love just as fiercely as they loved their first two.

……………

_8 years after that_

Walking home from the clinic in the early evening on one of the first nights of summer vacation, Emma smiled at the thought that her own vacation was staring today. She had taken a full month off from the clinic (something she’d begun to do every year since their honey moon and the twins being born) to celebrate the beginning of summer break for her kids.

Since becoming a Mom Emma had been adamant that she never wanted to give up medicine, but some compromise had been made. To not feel like she was missing out on important milestones with her family Emma worked three days a week with only one day that extended into the evening. Her partner physician who Emma brought on years back handled the rest of the cases and things were balanced and perfect as far as Emma was concerned. She got to do what she loved and still be a Mom who was home for dinners and active and involved with her children.

It also didn’t hurt that her doting husband was such a spectacular father. Emma had never met another man more ready to be a parent and more willing to do every last thing for his family than Killian. He was still writing as Emma knew he always would, but Killian’s greatest joy was in being home with the kids and Emma when she was there too. They made a wonderful team and had a great system that made it so none of their four kids ever doubted how much they were loved and adored.

Now that didn’t mean that things weren’t chaotic because they were. They had four children who were all ten and under running around a big old house and all of them had inherited their mother’s want for adventure and their father’s knack for words. They were sweet-talking, kind-hearted hooligans and Emma could hear them all scrambling around inside as she moved up the porch steps and opened the door.

“Hey there, Lady.”

Emma bent down to see their big Saint Bernard who they’d gotten a few years after the twins were born. This gentle giant lived up to her namesake, calm and patient and well suited for this family and their kids. Emma gave her a good scratch behind the ears as a reward for greeting her like this before a voice called her attention back up again.

“Annie cut the hair off her Barbie again.” Leia’s casual words came as she walked by Emma with a book in hand. Emma stood from Lady who stayed just by her side as she did.

“Hello to you too, Leia.”

Leia looked up and considered for a moment before giving Emma a hug. Emma knew this would change soon – ten-year-old affection might change to teenage avoidance at some point, but her daughter was a lovely girl and always would be. They could weather any storms together, but Emma did hope that her daughter would stay a kid as long as possible.

“Mommy, look at my doll!” Annie rushed in from the living room and brought the toy in question to Emma for her assessment. Emma was glad to see that it was a better result than she’d thought. Barbie now had a pretty decent bob cut instead of uneven baldness.

“Doesn’t she look pretty? Where did you get the scissors, angel?” Emma was interested to hear this part, because even though Annie was only six she was clever, always finding ways to get herself into trouble as youngest children often did.

“Ryder did it for me.” Emma looked up to where her son was rolling his eyes across the way.

“She stole my game and wouldn’t give it back.” That might be true, but Emma also knew Ryder took his job as the eldest child seriously. He was protective just like his father and always the first to cave to see his siblings made happy. 

“Is that true, Annie?” Annie blinked her blue eyes up at Emma and Emma pushed some of her almost black hair out of her face.

“I needed leverage.” Emma chuckled lightly before kissing the top of her little thief’s head and standing back up.

“We still going to see the fireflies tonight?” Ryder asked and Emma nodded.

“You bet we are.” Ryder grinned before running into the kitchen where Emma followed. There awaiting her was Killian with their son Hunter, sitting at the table talking about soccer, his certifiable obsession.

“Something smells good.”

In a second Killian and Hunter both looked at Emma and smiled.

“Hey Mom!” Emma moved over to greet her son.

“Hey kid. How was not going to school?” Hunter shrugged.

“Better than going.” Sounded about right, but Emma knew they’d lucked out and that all of the Jones children enjoyed themselves no matter what season of the year they were in.

“You’re home early.” Killian’s happiness at that fact pulled Emma back to him and she pressed a soft kiss to his lips.

“I missed you guys.” Killian smiled, his arms coming to wrap around hers as they enjoyed one moment of somewhat quiet in the business that was their lives.

“We missed you too, love.”

Of course the frenzy returned but Emma and Killian were more than equipped to handle it. Dinner was served, conversation was had where every kid got to share more about their days, and then the whole family was off to go start their summer right with a little bit of firefly catching.

After spending some time believing in magic and seeing all their kids happy and engaged running around in the field Emma fell in love with as a kid, Emma and Killian brought them all back home and went about the nightly ritual. With every kiss goodnight and story read, the kids dozed off one by one until it was just Emma and Killian walking hand in hand back to their room.

“So did you manage to get any work done at all with the kids running all over the place?” Emma asked when they closed the door behind them.

“Actually I did. It’s finished.” Emma’s head flicked back his way at the words. ‘It’ was his follow up book to _A Life in Love_ and it had been taking him a while. He’d written more of his usual action series in the mean time, but this was big. Huge even.

“It is?!”

“Aye, love. And I found the title and everything.” Emma was so excited for him. After what felt like ages of waiting to see what his newest book would look like, Emma expected him to give it to her right now.

“Well, where is it?” Emma searched around and then watched as he pulled it out from one of his drawers. It came in the same kind of box as all the others had years ago and Emma couldn’t help the happy flutter in her heart.

With steady fingers, Emma opened the cover of the box to reveal the manuscript inside. It was completed, a whole books worth of prose, but there, typed into the top sheet was the title: _To See You This Way._

Emma flipped the page over and read his dedication, tracing her fingertips near the words as she did.

_To my children: you are all the greatest gifts I could ever ask for. It is a privilege to be your father and to watch you all grow into the people you were born to be. Each of you has a light that shines so like your mother's, and I hope that like her you will follow your passion and change the world as you do. No dream is impossible for you, and whatever that dream may be, know that I will love you always and support you with all my heart._

_And to my lovely wife who I will love in this life and in every other: you are still my savior in every single way. You have made every dream I ever wished for come true, have made my story the best that ever was, and taught me to love with everything I am. I am a better man for loving you, and I know true happiness because I have you. Thank you Emma, and know that I will keep choosing you and our family every day for all my days now and always. I love you._

Emma closed the box quickly after reading those all-consuming words much to the surprise of her husband. 

“Something wrong love?” Emma shook her head as she moved closer to him, laying her hands against his chest.

“No, I would say that life is pretty damn perfect.”

“I’d have to agree.” Emma moved closer to kiss him but made one last comment when she was just a whisper away.

“Oh, and I love you too.”

They sealed that love with a kiss that of course turned to so much more, and all of it was fueled by a simple truth – together Emma and Killian had found those dreams they’d both held so close, and the life they lived reflected every happily ever after either of them ever could have wished for.

**_Post-Note: Part of me really cannot believe that this is the end of the road for ‘To See You This Way.’ It’s been such a fun, fluffy, adorable fic for me to write, and I really can’t say how much I appreciate all the support you all have shown along the way. This was an experimental fic format wise for me (what with Killian’s writing, and some of Emma’s too), but you guys were so patient and awesome and I really can’t stress enough how much I appreciate that. So thank you and I’m wishing us all good luck as the start of the new season comes tomorrow! Whatever happens, I’ll be continuing with this story’s legacy of fluff and feels and I just hope the show takes a page from that school of thought. Anyway, happy Saturday and thanks again!_ **


End file.
